Child discipline

How do you feel about disciplining a child? Do you prefer spanking? (If so by hand or belt?) Restriction/Grounding?

Well through various age groups I'd have to say I'd probably raise my child like my parents raised me.

When I was very young. Toddler size my parents never hit me. Not even a simple palm slap because a child cannot possibly comprehend pain as "no." When I grew up a little more, around the age where I knew right from wrong I was spanked with a belt. Not excessive beating, but across my tail where I got the point. :B And finally when I reached my early teenage years my parents would place me on restriction. Taking away games and what not.

So I figured that was quite fair and I've suffered some rather beasty beatings in my early youth. ): But then again I was never injured. I fail really to see how spanking a child is considered by most of the public's means "child abuse." Sure it can be if it's excessive and extremely harsh in nature. But when I describe a spanking I mean across the tail. Without monster truck force. But enough to inflict a sore tail. :P

Anyway what is your view??

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Originally Posted by LyingEyes

How do you feel about disciplining a child? Do you prefer spanking? (If so by hand or belt?) Restriction/Grounding?

Well through various age groups I'd have to say I'd probably raise my child like my parents raised me.

When I was very young. Toddler size my parents never hit me. Not even a simple palm slap because a child cannot possibly comprehend pain as "no." When I grew up a little more, around the age where I knew right from wrong I was spanked with a belt. Not excessive beating, but across my tail where I got the point. :B And finally when I reached my early teenage years my parents would place me on restriction. Taking away games and what not.

So I figured that was quite fair and I've suffered some rather beasty beatings in my early youth. ): But then again I was never injured. I fail really to see how spanking a child is considered by most of the public's means "child abuse." Sure it can be if it's excessive and extremely harsh in nature. But when I describe a spanking I mean across the tail. Without monster truck force. But enough to inflict a sore tail. :P

Anyway what is your view??

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I can agree with a lot of that. Spanking with a belt or other implement (read: weapon) is something I would declare off-limits, but by hand it shouldn't be too bad as long as excessive force is not used.

I disagree with your statement that a child cannot interpret pain as "no", however. Pain is the only thing a child intereprets as "no". A child who touches a hot stove quickly learns not to do it again. As long as the pain follows the incorrect activity closely enough that the child associates the pain with the activity, it is sometimes the only way to get a child who is too young to understand punishments like parental disapproval to understand that what he did was wrong. Not that I'm advocating beating children for every infraction, or even beating them at all. But a swift swat across the hands to a child playing around an electrical plug (though any plug near a child that young should be blocked, it's just an example to demonstrate my point) may save that child's life, while the child might not associate having its favorite toy taken away with the incorrect activity.

I really worded that bad. I do understand children interpret pain as "no" but at such a young age a slap is literally useless. I'd rather communicate with the child then slap the wrist. For which slapping is the only way I can get a reasonable response? I don't want to have to slap my childs hand for every major trouble. I don't feel that's necessary. And in most cases, including my own I was never rebellious or destructive in nature. I learned to listen to my parents rather than have to be tagged for most infractions just to pay attention. Though I guess every child is different.

In regards to that, I now believe I was thinking of much younger children than you were. If a child is old enough that you can talk to them, then trying to communicate with them and tell them what they did wrong and why is the preferable course of action. My post was in regards to children too young to understand what you are telling them when you explain things.

Actually, LyingEyes, in the realm of child psychology, a thwap on the butt is considered acceptable by most people for children aged one and two, and not acceptable for older children who are old enough to have mastered language and can be spoken to.

I'd go into it more, but my dinner's ready. This is my area of expertise though so I'm sure I'll be back... >_>

Well discipline doesn't exactly to relate to every child. It really depends on the environment and parenting progressed. I was never spanked at a very extremely premature age of 1 or 2. Though I was never destructive or unruly in nature. So not many disciplines were needed, and in that age what was done was not anything of physical discipline. That is why I said I believe it's different for most children. Though by my own discrepency I wouldn't physically tap my child at that age. To me it's pointless and only gets temporary results.

Sometimes it's better to let children learn the hard way. I had to touch the stove, step on the furnace grate, and touch an iron before I learned not to touch hot things. :P

One thing I totally despise in parenting is the "not-my-child" syndrome. This prevelent innocense thought absolutely drives me insane.

Hitting isn't discipline, it's punishment. A swat on the butt isn't meant to be either; it's a means to get a very young child's attention and should be immediatly followed by a firm "no." Physical punishment teaches children "If you misbehave, the people you love and trust will hurt you," and that's wrong. Obviously children are very resilient and spanking isn't going to destroy anybody, but it's just an inferior method for disciplining your child, and is rightfully looked down upon.

Children want attention. If they're not getting positive attention, they'll seek negative attention. Any attention is better than no attention. Children want to be good. They want to be loved and praised, and they want to do the right thing. If you explain to a child why what theyre doing is wrong, they're very likely to stop.

And yes it's true that sometimes it's better to let children learn things on their own. Fortunatly most of them don't take that long to learn not to touch hot things. xD

Well,you all know my attitude towards kids nowadays... but I say,never strike a child.I think the parent should be ready to swing with the situation.

I'll slap a youg child in a safe area if it gets the message through. Only if he was my kid though. Other than that Ill tell then "NO" and make simple threats they understand and repeat if necessary.

Simply put I would probably raise a child like I raise my dog. And don't tell me to talk them out of it. I have tried on children ranging from 2-6/7 and it has no effect(maybe I have just ran into some really rebelious kids). It don't matter what they are doing. They hurt your dogs, you tell them no and make them leave your property for a while.. next thing you know they are back and hurting the dogs again.. this kid is four but it took forever for it to get accross.. it finally got accross when we slapped him(with his gaurdians permision of course) every time he did some thing to hurt the dog. He stopped soon after.. even when those doing the slapping weren't around.

It depends on the situation... sometiems that sort of punishment is the most effective/only effective. It doesn't work on many teens too well due to the fact that you have to use so much force on many of them. Which means it should never be the central means of punishment, but as with everything this has its good and can be used as a trump when all else you have tried fails. Or just do what my dad did.. say no grab the wrist and don't let them do anything for a bit. Course my dad had the added edition of being able to leave bruises even on grown men and women just by grabbing thier wrist.. so I did get a black and blue wrist from it as well. Thing is he was never trying to do it(mom says that) it was just that when he was upset about something he did not know how to properly control his strength.. one reason why he never spanked I think.

When I was little I used to get smacked when I was very naughty, only one day my Dad hit me too hard and promised never to hit me ever again, so I was sent to my room when I was naughty. I would not hit a child of my own, because there are better ways to punish children I believe.

I think creating a stong hold on a child is better done with out hitting. It is known that violence leads to violence. My wife and I have spanked our daughter, but now she is into her terrible twos. We find that when other kids are naughty, she finds it her right to spank them. So I developed a glare. If she is naughty, I can glare at her, and she will go into her room and on her bed untill i come in and get her. It doesn't work 100% some times I do have to speak, but it seems to get the authority point across better.

It seems to work. As far as actually hitting a child hard (or to inflict pain) I would NEVER WANT to wish that on ANY child.

Bipper

If you ever want to know how to deal with children, just watch Super Nanny. Other than her overuse of the word "naughty" she's 100% right on the best ways to deal with children, and she deals with some nasty, angry children without ever having to hit them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LyingEyes

How do you feel about disciplining a child? Do you prefer spanking? (If so by hand or belt?) Restriction/Grounding?

Well through various age groups I'd have to say I'd probably raise my child like my parents raised me.

When I was very young. Toddler size my parents never hit me. Not even a simple palm slap because a child cannot possibly comprehend pain as "no." When I grew up a little more, around the age where I knew right from wrong I was spanked with a belt. Not excessive beating, but across my tail where I got the point. :B And finally when I reached my early teenage years my parents would place me on restriction. Taking away games and what not.

So I figured that was quite fair and I've suffered some rather beasty beatings in my early youth. ): But then again I was never injured. I fail really to see how spanking a child is considered by most of the public's means "child abuse." Sure it can be if it's excessive and extremely harsh in nature. But when I describe a spanking I mean across the tail. Without monster truck force. But enough to inflict a sore tail. :P

Anyway what is your view??

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Put the belt to them . Especially if they do something that's life threatening. I use to get whoopings all the time. You can always tlell if a person received a lot of spankings during his or her's childhoood.

These people who has received those spankings. Have ended up really a lot better than people who hadn't.

When i say spanking also. Please put in mind also a lot of discipline. . The badest kids end up being the greatest people in their adulthood.

You obviously don't know a thing about what you're talking about, lordblazer. What you just said goes against pretty much everything that anyone who has formally studied child development for as little as an hour knows.