The Eyes On Comedy Club

Announcer comes to the stage, for those who are new to this, the rules are is that after the first act with Nick you choose to applause or boo. and then you can come up on stage and do your own stand up. Well enough of that, here comes our first act for tonight NIIIIIIICK SCHOOOVITZ!
Nick steps out onto stage.
"Hey how's everyone doing tonight?" he says. people murmur. "That's good, hey I have no disrespect with gay people but there's only a certain type that I don't like". "I don't mind the ones that are open about it like, like the ones that have a job as a decorator or a hair stylist, or when your gilfriends job and he jumps up and says " Heyy girrrl!" I be like yeah yeah, he gay".

"There was this one time when I went to grocery store, and this guy broke in front of me and I tried to push him back he said "I'm going to f*** you"
"Up" I finished.

"No I said I'm going to f*** you"
"I said, uhh, get away from me man and I walked away".

Well that's all from me tonight see ya later.

I choose to applaud. Nick, you are truly a witty man.

Those jokes were so Godawful that I'm closing this thread. Seriously.

how is that even supposed to be funny?

No respect.