My dilemna...

i have had a slight problem all my life.so greatly would i like to eliminate this,please people...help me....

primarily my personality is very dark and serious..i am like that whenever i am alone.i would so very much like to outwardly show that,but for some reason whenever im around anyone else i act very stupid and insane/tooo humorous.i have had a few people ask me if i were on weed(jokingly but they knew i was way too insane)...all i want is to show my true personality.the few times it has shown through to my friends they have said they liked me much better that way,and saw my problem/wished they could help.

so please...how can i elmininate this foolishly imbecilical side of my self?


thanks in advance...

This would be better suited for EoEO, no?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SummonerCloud

i have had a slight problem all my life.so greatly would i like to eliminate this,please people...help me....

primarily my personality is very dark and serious..i am like that whenever i am alone.i would so very much like to outwardly show that,but for some reason whenever im around anyone else i act very stupid and insane/tooo humorous.i have had a few people ask me if i were on weed(jokingly but they knew i was way too insane)...all i want is to show my true personality.the few times it has shown through to my friends they have said they liked me much better that way,and saw my problem/wished they could help.

so please...how can i elmininate this foolishly imbecilical side of my self?


thanks in advance...

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Wow, this was actually very similar to my situation at one point. I believe the reason for this is because a majority of us are conditioned from our infancy on how to portray speech and action in public/social circumstances. As a result, the character we feel is closest to our own "self" is often at odds with our public image. The only way to cure this is to avoid living in "bad faith," as the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre states. Living in bad faith is living a life that does not realize your true wants and yearnings, such as working the same 8-hour shift 5 days a week when instead you should be beginning that novel you've been planning to write or prepping the canvas for that portrait you've been planning to paint.

It would seem logical that the change to your public image would come from an alteration of your conduct in public, but in fact the change should come from your private, secluded character that you wish to represent you consistently. Start achieving your goals instead of following a routine or path that you really wish not to follow. Find your "true" vocation and dedicate yourself to it, and you'll see that eventually your character in public will alter to at least some degree. If you want to run a marathon, start running every day. If you want to invent the flying car, start reading every physics book you can get your hands on. If you want to develop the next great TV show, start doing research into television programming and find an original idea from which to develop a script. No more stagnation. Just smurfing do it.

-LYCHON

i think if youre showing a funny humorous side around everyone then that is the real you. unless you are purposley acting that way to hide who you really are that is. but if your around everyone and it just comes out natrually then that is the real you.

I think it will be hard to change the way you act around people without an exterior change. Like, going to college. Because on top of you being used to acting like that, you know everyone else is expecting you to continue to act in the same manner. If there is a change in your environment, it will be easier, I think, to change your behavior that drastically. Maybe you can do it though. I think you should try changing your behavior a little at a time, so as to avoid everyone making you uncomfortable by constantly asking you what's wrong.

Lychon,are you saying to "follow my dream" instead of ignorantly doing things i will not to?

and also,the true me is NOTHING like the idiot side i show publicly..can you guys all help me break this down to an easy thing to do(or hard but understandable)?

thank you all,so far...please help me to resolve this...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SummonerCloud

Lychon,are you saying to "follow my dream" instead of ignorantly doing things i will not to?

and also,the true me is NOTHING like the idiot side i show publicly..can you guys all help me break this down to an easy thing to do(or hard but understandable)?

thank you all,so far...please help me to resolve this...

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Well, no, I'm not saying exactly "follow your dream." That's a bit too sentimental for the violent earthquakes of reality. To forcibly change your lifestyle, your character, or your understanding of perception is extremely difficult. These things, of course, will change naturally as you age, but if you wish them to change into something specific as opposed to something superficial, then you have to "steer the change" to wherever you wish to go. Forgive me if I sound a bit convoluted, but there is a whole set of philosophical principles behind concepts of the "self." In the simplest terms, to attain significant accomplishment, you must make significant and conscientious actions. Unfortunately, there is no "one-and-only" path that is illuminated for your convenience. If you’re still young (and depending on your familial circumstances) then pressure upon your shoulders is still light.

-LYCHON

So you are saying in private act as who i want to be in public?don't act anything different than my goal?

sorry..just don't get it 100& lol...

Look,sorry for the d post and don't wanna piss anyone off but i really want to rid myself of this...it has haunted me far longer than comprehendable.

please help,or help me "decode" lychon's replies...sorry lych,i am intelligent but still don't understand what you are going at...

thanks in advance..

There is nothing wrong in being cheerful and funny around people, even if your true personality and thoughts are quieter and deeper that that. I think you are wanting to tone this down though.

The only way to break a behavioural habit is to 'act' another way and it will soon become not acting but more yourself as you gather courage to be yourself in front of others. So I suggest you try replacing 'idiotic' with 'cheeky' - its just...better, and also leaves room to throw in a deep and meaningful to counter it - and make people think.
Think twice before you say anything - did you really want that to come out like that..? Even at my age I still have to bite my tongue sometimes to not appear silly.

I too am quite 'deep' with my thoughts, poetic, prone to melancholy and a hopeless romantic. But I am also incorrigibly cheeky, fun and full of life which draws people. Then with a chosen few, we can sit down and have a proper conversation about things that matter.

Good luck and never, never, never give up. If you really want to achieve something, you just will.

You don't have to be serious all the time, but I understand if you despair at not being able to be serious any of the time. That takes courage

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Thank you,Mum...that was very inspirational and may aid me in eliminating,partially this other side of me...allowing my true self to show.

THank you again...i really mean it.