lol what jokes do you know? me....umm why didnt eh chicken cross the road.....to get to the other side (ya i know >< lam)
what you got?
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lol what jokes do you know? me....umm why didnt eh chicken cross the road.....to get to the other side (ya i know >< lam)
what you got?
Why did the thread get closed?
*waits*
Hah. Just kidding. See? Joke. ^
OK SO THIS GUY WALKED INTO A BAR.
GUESS WHAT HE SAID!
OUCH!
There. I said it first.
im sure im gona regret asking......why?Quote:
Originally Posted by G SpOtZ
why is the deepest question ever.
IF IT'S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA!
oh man, I'm on a roll!
I have the most brilliantly awful joke ever, I made it myself.
What do you call an egg with a large red mustache?
...Yolksemite Sam!
i like that one lmao got one for bugs bunny too ^^:) :D :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Rye
Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?
(SPOILER)They keep falling through his hands.
A gentlemen goes into a 20 story building, goes to the very top, where there is a bar. He goes to the counter and asks for a drink. The bartender obliges, and the gentlemen starts enjoying his drink. Soon, another guy at a counter, a drunk, starts yelling and hollering, and all other ways of being rude. After about 10 minutes of this the gentlemen cant stand it so he leans over to the drunk and asks him to be quiet. The drunk, instead of calming down, challenges the gentlemen to a bet.
He says "Hey, you, Ill bet you a million bucks that i can jump out of this window, and have the wind push me back in before i hit bottom, okay?"
The gentlemen easily agrees, and so the drunk jumps out of the window. The gentlemen runs to the broken window, peers down, and true enough, the wind pushes the drunk through the window on the 2nd floor! Running up the stairs, the victorious drunk comes to the gentlemen and asks for his million dollars.
"But, I thought you would surely die! Im sorry, i really dont have a million dollars, so i guess i cant pay up." The gentlemen says
The menacing look on the drunks face tells the gentlemen that it isnt going to end well. So, he jumps out of the window, and falls to his death.
The drunk sits back down to continue drinking and the bartender goes over to him and exclaims.
"You can be a real jerk when you're drunk Superman!"
THIS IS A JOKE.
What starts with ''F'' and ends with ''UCK?''
Firetruck! ^_^
What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from jail?
A small medium at large!
Two fraternity brothers...
Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them spots a lamp floating by. He picks it up and a genie pops out. The genie notices the poor condition of the brothers and grants them one wish between the two of them.
After a lot of arguing over who gets the wish, one of them blurts out, "I wish the ocean was made of beer."
Magically, the ocean turns to beer.
Infuriated, the other guy yells, "You idiot! Now we have to piss in the boat!"
Just A Juggalo
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by
You''re So Ugly
You''re so ugly, when yo'' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!
Working On The Fourth Husband
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Why do zombies stay away from me?
(SPOILER)Because they want brains
A Helpful ManQuote:
Originally Posted by Sora!
A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.
As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, “You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch.”
“But I'm not pregnant,” she says.
“Well, you're not out of the ditch yet,” he says.
A man is sadly sitting at the bar counter with a full mug. This big trucker dude comes up to him and drinks the whole mug and the man starts crying and put his head on the counter.
The trucker then says "Aww come on, it was just a joke! I can't stand to see a guy cry."
Then the sad man says "It's not that... Today was just the worst day of my life... First I'm late for work and I get fired... Then I went outside and my car was stolen... Then I was mugged in the subway, and when I got home my wife was sleeping with my best friend..." He lifted his head and looked towards him, "And then you come over and drink my poison..."
The temptation to post a dead-baby joke is just too strong *struggles*