This mainly concerns my mother and my little brother: for some reason, whenever they ask me to do something for them, I feel... bad.
I dunno why, but a request like "would you like to drive me into town? That is, if you like, hehe..." I feel like I'm being used or something.
I guess I just have poor self-confidence, but it still makes no sense.
They want me to be with them and stuff, but I still feel bad whenever they ask me to do them some favour.
Why? :mad2:
This is so stupid.
I enjoy doing things for people, but when people take advantage, I don't feel bad as much as I feel angry.
Yeah, well, for some reason I ALWAYS feel like I'm being used, and I ain't even being used.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
They just ask me this kind of stuff every now and then, not even very often, and they want me to join them in different things (I live by myself in an apartment, so I'm somewhat separated from them) and I STILL get these feelings.
It sucks. :(
If you think that people are taking advantage of your kindness, weigh out their personal value (How often they help you out), how valueble your time is (Not necessarilly pertaining to what you're doing at the exact moment they ask you for a favor), and how valuable you really are to them.
Chances are, the measurements aren't that skewed, and you just work a little harder for other people, which is no great sin, and when you realize that they help you out lots too, and you're not really doing anything more important than helping them out anyway, then you can learn to be happy to help.
Of course, if it turns out that they're worthless and you're extremely valuable, it may be time to find a new employer.
But the most likely case is that you're not seeing the big picture as clearly as you might.
Martyr, I really appreciated your reply, but could you please specify what this means? "The big picture as clearly as you might" confuses me a bit. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Martyr
I used to think that my sister took advantage of me, since I always drive her around, loan her money, succumb to her evil wishes and desires etc. Because she's a ridiculous nutcase.
On the surface, considering that she doesn't do any of these things for me, you might think that it's a pretty bad relationship, and I should cut the line.
However, when I take a look at it from an outsider's perspective, i find that I only get called in once a week or so, really, she does pay me back, she actually has helped me make money because, by covering her at her job a couple times, the boss has grown a liking to me and allows me to work with him on big money events, among other things.
I'm just saying that it's often hard to see between the lines when you're driving some girl for four hours, paying gas,m buying her lunch, etc, so she can see her boyfriend who doesn't have a car and barely has a HS education...
You know, taken out of context ....Quote:
Originally Posted by Martyr
I have never had a person take advantage of me without my allowing it. And even then, it is only because I see a personal gain from doing what they ask me to do. I take advantage of people all the time, however, because I have little respect for the majority of them.
I am the opposite; I feel sad and hurt more than anything else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
When someone does that to me, it also makes me feel really alone. It makes me think there is something wrong with me...I know that it isn't right to feel that way, but I can't help it.