Corrupted Wish Game

You find Dolores Umbridge's pen.

I wish I could have an awesome dream tonight.

Granted. Unfortunately, everything is horrible when you wake up.

I wish I had a pet unicorn

Granted. It gets mako poisoning and dies. You are haunted by its ghost, which drives you to suicide.

Decided not to go with the stock "it goes berserk and kills you" thing.

I wish for a fish on a dish.

Granted. You get this fish on a dish, but is served by a bitch that makes you wish you never had the fish because your brain goes squish because the bitch was a witch with a magic swish, for the witch had a wish to accomplish.

HOLY SMOKES THAT WAS FUN

I wish I could continue that rhyme.

Granted. You continue the rhyme forever. You never leave the house and you soon die of starvation.

I wish for a hug :3

Granted. Here's a porcupine!

I wish my slippers were fuzzy again. >:

Granted. Your slippers are now made of dead kittens.

I wish Demon Dude would post next XD

:jess:

I wish lom would post next! :U

Granted.

Dammit, first Rye, now LoM. I need to change my password.

I wish I had a large Frosty.

Granted. It's razor blade flavored!

Did I just miss something...?

I wish my mp3 player would charge faster.

It charges fast all right, though the rapid energy intake causes it to blow up. O_O

I wish I had a pedo-van.

Granted. Chris Hansen would like to have a word with you.

I wish I had more chips. -holds out bowl like Oliver Twist-

Granted. You now have 1 million wood chips. MMMM! Oaky!

I wish for nothing.

Granted. Everything you ever owned is now stripped away from you leaving you with nothing. :D

I wish I had my own TARDIS.

Granted. It also is about to EXPLODE :eek:

I wish I didn't die in mafia :(