36) Most Hardcore Gamer
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Let's face it, seeing as how we are better than everyone on the internet, we cannot be stopped, no matter the circumstances. I'll go 20-0 with Keeper of the Light; I'll get a Killimanjaro AND a Used Car Salesman in Halo 3, both at the same time, I'll actually get a character to 99 in vanilla Diablo II. Maybe I'll be Ultima Shadow and make a strategy to not only beat Sephiroth, but PWN his sorry, pathetic face. Goddamnit, I can beat you, and I won't be stopped. I'll rock out to my Circa Survive and the rest of my emo songs, and you'll turn down your Ventrilo in rage, while I'm rocking out on freeware Mumble.
I'll insult your mother, call you a fag, and laugh at your gaming skills (more like a lack thereof, amirite?). I can tell you a mathematical breakdown of the experience gain of Heartless in KHII. I can ride a bike with no handlebars. I can play FFX-2 without a controller. It's not so difficult. Turn on the Godmode, and let's wreck some stuff. Hey, if I'm good enough, I'll only die a few times in "I Wanna Be the Guy."
Can you be Hardcore? I can be hardcore. You only live once this time, try not to kiss that Crown of Ages goodbye. You already put two Ber runes into it. Can you shoot down birds until the levels reroll in Duck Hunt? These guys can. Do you know the triggers related to Abaddon's Borrowed Time? Can you tell me that Axe's Culling Blade removes buffs and is based on Chain Lightning? These guys do.
Can you watch Nickolodeon, while playing a game on the computer, while playing FFXII on the PS2, blogging about how it sucks? Wolf Kanno can.
Can you get a blowjob from some random EoFF Recognized Member while you're insulting Roto13, and be a militant atheist? MILF can.
Can you dodge patterned bullets, fap to loli, be a pedophile, be emo, and rock out to Chiodos while being told you're a useless waste of space? Momiji can.
Can you win both the Most Helpful and Most Hardcore Gamer Ciddies at the last Ciddies, and be nominated again this time? JKTrix can.
But I don't think you can. Let's face it. You haven't lost a leet amount of gold to death just quite yet. Whose hardcoreness passes out all the rest this time? Who makes his pixels work for him and not the other way around?
