Do not mock my honesty! It's as good an answer as any considering the nature of the question. Right, Rye?
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A scarf.
A glass of water in case I get thirsty in the middle of the night.
We all float down here.
A portal that whose other end would be right outside my college
Bush. That way I can unleash my morning crankiness on him.
Some kind of cover thing that keeps light away from my eyes. Urgh.
A canon that shoots whatever I think needs shooting.
A sword.
Then I can be all "LOL DAMOCLES!"