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I've definitely faced that problem more throughout Icewind Dale than Baldur's Gate or Neverwinter Nights.
Icewind dale was the worst of those game imo. I very much enjoyed BG and BG2 a lot more. Also, Never Winter Nights was very fun.
Ok, so I've thought of another one. It's an RTS like the Warcrafts 1-3. You start the campaign with just a Japanese Samurai, inside of a village that is being raided. You can choose to side with the raiders, who are lead by a ninja, and whose color I think is blue. Or you can help the villagers, who are headed by a guy with a hammer, and who I think are orange. You may be able to stay neutral, too. Either way, that choice affects what color you are, what buildings you start out with, and the path your campaign takes. If I remember correctly, though, after 4 or 5 missions you get the character you chose not to help in your party, and all the building types that they knew how to make but you didn't. I'm also pretty sure you have to gather rice for food, and you can train soldiers at a dojo, and you can make geisha.
Anyone know? I wanna know. Sounds interesting!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Realms
Seems to fit the bill (also sorry I totally missed that post lmao)