Quote:
eest: repo-man spanner attack. Physical damage.
Miriel: Esuna and Regen on all allies. Miriel will not arrive if summoned when there are flying enemies.
Raistlin: There Are No Words: Silence inflicted upon all allies and enemies. All menu items are replaced with pictures of bales of hay
MILF: If anyone is your party is a moderator, he sleeps with them to fully replenish MP
Shlup: Bitches out an enemy, causing it to get Stop status for a few turns.
Peegee: Starts to attack with magic but garbles the incantation. Argues with the party for a while then leaves
Kalen: Extremely heavy damage to one enemy.
theundeadhero: Unleashes the HECTICS for an unknown effect
Roogle: Does a really bad rap for 0 damage
Samuraid: Guaranteed steal from all enemies.
Baloki: Increases productivity (Haste on all allies).
Mirage: Makes all allies invisible and thus impervious to attack for three turns.
Melissaur: Stomps on all the enemies dealing physical damage (like any good dinosaur would).
Rantz: Stares at the enemy with the trademark semi-quizzical face, toad inflicted on all enemies
MB: Gets in an argument with Rye over who's cuter. Nobody wins and your game returns to the main menu
Quin: Changes the HP/MP of an opponent with his own.
Iceglow: Uses Charm, but it's always inneffectual.
Manus: Appears and everyone instantly falls in love with him, the battle ends and you get 99999exp. Unfortunately due to a bug can never be cast as it is permanently greyed out
G13: Guards Jiro for three physical attacks.
Freya: Steps in for Jiro. Casts three random black magic spells over the next three turns, with Jiro gaining rather than losing the MP that would have been used for those spells.
NCG: Attacks 1000 times in 3 seconds for minimal damage
smitten: Heal/Protect on all allies.
DK: The Wheels Have Fallen Off: Cries over the corpse of Mario Balotelli
Levian: Appears and...sorry I can't do it. I love this guy
Vivi22: Increases experience gained by party members for this battle.
Jessweeee♪: Adds healing to all buff spells.
Shiny: Adds haste to all buff spells.
And the random summons (naturally they don't appear in boss fights)...
HC: Builds up a GINORMOUS attack that seems set to deal maximum damage, but it was all a lie and does 0.
blackmage_nuke: Instantly wins the battle. Nobody ever casts it as they don't think it could be any good
edc & Sephex: Belto Maxson appears. The game is no longer relevant as you are in the presence of Belto smurfing Maxson.
More to come.