Round 4! (PART 1!) Bam, Boom, Straight to the Moon!

My responses despite the fact I'm no longer relevant to anyone in these forums:

1) Loony BoB has told Psychotic to "shut the smurf up". We don't allow swearing! We also don't allow people to order other people around in such a manner. Loony BoB has been a bad boy. He needs to be punished. What do you do?
Seriously, I would tell Loony BoB not to weasel past the swear filter and *snip* his post. If he did it again, I'd ban him. Of course, I don't know if CK's have that power, but I'd be thinking about it.

Now for crazy fruit hat fun time: I'd find out where Loony BoB lived, stalk him for six weeks, then walk up to him, look him right square in the eye and say, "You disappoint me" with a stern expression. Then I'd shake my head somberly and walk away in a slouch.

2) Pike and I'm My Own MILF were caught having sex in front of the children at her kindergarten. That's disgusting! What do you do?
I don't honestly see what this situation has to do with the forums.

I'd shoo the kids out and force my way in there for a threesome and I'd demand they enjoy it... or else! I don't know what I'm threatening, but "or else" usually does the trick.

2a) Now the kids are asking what they were doing. What do you tell them?
Ask the police. I'm sure they'll tell you.

They're cannibals and they were trying to eat each other!

3) Wolf Kanno is drunk. Again. He's also posting pornographic pictures of Pike and I'm My Own MILF having sex in front of children into a thread in EoFF. What do you do?
*snip* the first post and warn WK. One more case and he gets banned.

I'd make sure to copy/paste all of the pics Wolf's got before *snipping* them and then banning him.

4) Shiny is replying to threads with nothing more than the statement "fire_of_avalon, I forgive you for what you have done. I'm sorry for what I have also done. Let's make up. Will you marry me?" This has nothing to do with the topic of the threads, and she will not stop. What do you do?
First, I'll ask foa if this statement means anything, then regardless, I'll *snip* them all and demand Shiny stop lest she face my banning stapler.

Pretty much just that.

5) Del Murder has set Eyes on Final Fantasy on fire. It's already reached The Lounge, and the smoke is making it hard for Raistlin and Vivi22 to breathe. What do you do?
I first gently remind Raist and V that there really isn't a fire, but just in case, I have gas masks. Yes, Vivi, they look broken, but they still work. No, Raist, the mask isn't gonna make you breathe in farts.

Oh, mother of god in heaven, Saint Mary, and Joseph, don't remind me of my past!!!!!!!!

6) krissy has started a thread demanding that all of Staff step down because "they're a bunch of titty pussy wanking homotwats that couldn't tell a mothersmurfer from a toilet seat if it hit them on the head." What do you do?
I'd suggest that krissy was drunk and that she should probably get some sleep. I'd then delete all of her posts for the whole day and tell everyone she has moved to Burbank.

I'd tell her to watch where she was stepping because I'm pretty sure she's drunk and just used the bathroom near that wall.

7) Rantzien has been constantly entering porn links into the #eoff chatroom. What do you do?
No warning for the Rantz fever. Intant ban.

I'd then check out every last link for legitimacy. Then again, I don't use chat, so I'd most likely miss out.

8) Hypoallergenic Cactuar is humping your leg. What do you do?
I am blind to how this relates to the forum.

Aww, is HC in love with my leg? Does HC want a biscuit? My! HC has a lot of energy today! Yes! Who's a good Cactuar? My, these needle proof pants were a good investment.

9) Hypoallergenic Cactuar isn't humping your leg. What do you do?
See the blue above.

Hmmph! Whatever!

10) You're unsure of what to do. What do you do?
That's a lie. I'm never unsure of what to do. Unless there are too many options.

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w...ing_Smiley.gif