Would you rather...

Would you rather be doinked or zoinked?

Who's doing the doinking? Who's doing the zoinking? And what the hell do either of those things mean?

Also I'd rather be killed by the pregnant hippo - who knows, it might birth its hippo child while it's trying to chomp off my leg, so I can die happy with the knowledge that the last thing I saw was a cute hippo baby.

I think being blind would be acceptable, since so much can be HEARD, but having no hands would be less so, as there is so much in this world to GRASP with BOTH hands!

Also how can you pit TV against literature? Reading novels is far more fulfilling than wasting time watching some crappy sitcom or reality show.

Hey Boobs mentioned citrus tears. Can you, like, cry them into your tea as a flavour enhancement? And speaking of which, I'd rather drink citrus-tear tea for the rest of my life than have to eat constantly.

As the Giants of Seareach would say, joy is in the ears that hear, not the mouth that speaks. I still would rather please someone with a tale told by tongue than keyboard tho, so I'll hold on to that particular appendage thank you! And of course, as Adie would add - "Tongue be stronger than teeth."

As I can rarely follow the dialogue of a film without them, I would keep subtitles. But granted, riffing over audio-less films can be fun and funny too!

So onto mine - would you rather survive a jampocalypse (i.e. world is flooded with flesheating jam) or have an endless supply of spoiled jam from a now-defunct jam-producing factory which you could feed to the many small rodents who infest your home?