Why won't it open!?

Use a spoon..

Wrap a thick rubber band around the cap (2 to 3 times if needed to get the slack out). Then grab it and turn. The rubber provides excellent grip, both on the cap, and on your hand. Works well on pretty much any lid or jar, whether it's plastic, metal, or glass.

Attachment 47956

Ehhh just buy one of those grip strengtheners or cut sheet metal for a living for a year or two - you'll be opening everything in no time.