30 Rock Quotes Thread

There have been several deliveries to this address of Mr. Jordan's signature order: "Large cheese pizza with slice taken out so that I can pretend I'm eating Pac-Man like my hero, Blinky the Ghost."

"How much time and energy have we wasted with our sparring and our gravel-voiced double entendre?"
"An assload."

"I trained [Tracy Senior] to hate white people because, not to profile, but most ghosts are white. "

Me, my ass double, and a drill that once appeared on Home Improvement are currently starring in a feature film called Take My Hand.

"All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island."
"MILF Island?"
"25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules."
"Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?"
"That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF."

The night is young, and neither are you.

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Smooth move Ferguson

"He's on LinkedIn, Lemon - he might as well be dead!"

You wanna party? It's $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling; end of list.

Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains?

If it's positive, awesome! We're having a baby! I wanna name it Frisbee. If it's negative, awesome. We're not gonna fight about the name Frisbee, and we get disco fries for breakfast because we're sad.

I don't know what disco fries are but I want to learn.

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Tracy: So how bad is diabetes, really?
Dr. Spaceman: Quite seriously. If left untreated you could lose a foot.
Tracy: Could I replace it with a wheel, like Rosie from the Jetsons?
Dr. Spaceman: I suppose. But then you'd have to register as a motor vehicle.

Kenneth: Oh no, sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name.
Jack: That's Republican, we count those.

--

Jack: What are your politics?
Dennis: Social conservative, fiscal liberal.