I own that scone!/That scone is gone!: The Great Debate

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Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian

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Originally Posted by FFNut

I'm Canadian, what's a scone?

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It's looks like this.
http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/sites/bbc...1001500_10.jpg

They're generally eaten with clotted cream and/or jam.

They may have raisins or sultanas in them. They might be sweet, or savoury.

One should eat scones with cream tea.

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Oh goodness, now you've brought up the other​ age old debate: do you put the jam on first or the clotted cream?

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

Also, I've always heard it pronounced "scown" so that's how I've always said it.

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I'd completely forgotten about that pronunciation.

It's definitely a very niche, not widely-spoken one.

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Originally Posted by FFNut

They look like biscuits. Hot butter and gravy is the way to go!

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BLASPHEMY! :hot:

If you suggested that in Devon or Cornwall, you would be lynched.

Scones are a sort of crumbly bread, NOT biscuits.

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Originally Posted by Night Fury

John Scone.

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You know nothing...

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Originally Posted by FFNut

They look like biscuits. Hot butter and gravy is the way to go!

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No. Just no.

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Originally Posted by Shauna

Only "own" when I'm taking the piss, "on" erry other time.

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Exactly.

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Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

Also, I've always heard it pronounced "scown" so that's how I've always said it.

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I'd completely forgotten about that pronunciation.

It's definitely a very niche, not widely-spoken one.

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Isn't 'Scown' (like clown) also how one would say 'idiot' in Na'vi?

Because if you are saying scown (like clown) then that is what you are.

Own.

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Originally Posted by Night Fury

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Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

Also, I've always heard it pronounced "scown" so that's how I've always said it.

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I'd completely forgotten about that pronunciation.

It's definitely a very niche, not widely-spoken one.

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Isn't 'Scown' (like clown) also how one would say 'idiot' in Na'vi?

Because if you are saying scown (like clown) then that is what you are.

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Haha. No, I didn't mean like clown. I meant "scown" as in combining the word own with sc. Like the first pronunciation mentioned in the thread.

There are people who pronounce it like clown/down/frown? Weird.

Well, Carny seems to think so xD

I still say fresh out of the oven, melted butter with gravy. The thing is a biscuit.

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

Haha. No, I didn't mean like clown. I meant "scown" as in combining the word own with sc. Like the first pronunciation mentioned in the thread.

There are people who pronounce it like clown/down/frown? Weird.

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There are. I remember it coming up in my History of the English Language module, in my first year of Uni.

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Originally Posted by FFNut

I still say fresh out of the oven, melted butter with gravy. The thing is a biscuit.

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HERESY! BLASPHEMY! OBSCENITY! :hot:

If you don't watch yourself, I'll tell Devonshire what you've been saying about scones, and they'll all come get you! :argh:

I pronounce it the latter, that scone is gone. However, due to my London accent it's much more like saying Cone with an S in front.

American dinner biscuit is to my knowledge a more savoury and dry affair. Scones, are by nature very sweet and terribly (read delightfully) butter rich cakes. How does one differentiate between a cake and a biscuit? Well biscuits when fresh are crisp and crumbly, when they go stale they become rather soggy textured. They don't taste as crisp which leaves you disappointed. A cake on the other hand is soft and becomes hard when stale much like bread. This leaves you fearing for the safety of your teeth as you bite in to them and most certainly highly disappointed. Scones belong at afternoon tea, not in your supper, now we'll forget your transgressions and if you're lucky, introduce you to the delights of afternoon tea in the future.

They should be eaten with clotted cream (preferably, though very stiff double cream will do in a pinch. Whip it properly boy, don't you dare use any aerosol trout) and some jam. Eating them plain (don't ask me how people do plain, due to their quite heavy, crumbly texture they have the ability to act like a Cream Cracker to your mouth leaving behind the same cemented shut feeling on your teeth due to crumbs mixed with saliva bonding to all available surfaces). Alternatively, it is known to see them served spread with butter however, it is not the traditional way of consuming these cakes due to the already high butter content. The answer to the other debate (jam or cream first) is thus:

The jam should always be applied first. No arguments, it's like putting the toilet paper on the holder; there is a right way and a wrong way. Cream first is simply put bloody wrong. Here's why:

If you put the cream on first then much like the toilet paper being so it tears off from the back you don't actually have a good clean estimate of how much you have or need when it comes to applying the jam (or wiping your arse to continue the analogy) you end up having to put far more on than required (or tear more off) because you have a surface to spread it on which has far more give and slip (or you just can't smurfing see the thing). This leaves you dissatisfied with both an uneven covering of jam and an overly sweet experience dripping in sugar (or a blocked drain in your toilet which no one wants to break up for fear of the trout being still there)

If however, you do it right, you apply the Jam first (or hang your toilet paper so the tear perforations are on the front of the roll) you can apply the right amount of Jam to ensure maximum coverage and minimum overdoing it. You can then pile a generous helping of clotted cream on top using the adhesive quality of the jam to aid you in the process of applying it. (This is akin to being able to determine exactly how many pieces of toilet paper is enough by cleanly counting in your head). This leads to great satisfaction for the consumer and a relief that they have done things right (they're also not scrabbling for the end of the toilet roll, it is after all in plain view).

Ladies and gentleman. When it takes a man from Finchley to put you all bloody straight on Scones, you know one thing: You're simply not very classy.

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Originally Posted by Steve

I pronounce it the latter, that scone is gone. However, due to my London accent it's much more like saying Cone with an S in front.

American dinner biscuit is to my knowledge a more savoury and dry affair. Scones, are by nature very sweet and terribly (read delightfully) butter rich cakes. How does one differentiate between a cake and a biscuit? Well biscuits when fresh are crisp and crumbly, when they go stale they become rather soggy textured. They don't taste as crisp which leaves you disappointed. A cake on the other hand is soft and becomes hard when stale much like bread. This leaves you fearing for the safety of your teeth as you bite in to them and most certainly highly disappointed. Scones belong at afternoon tea, not in your supper, now we'll forget your transgressions and if you're lucky, introduce you to the delights of afternoon tea in the future.

They should be eaten with clotted cream (preferably, though very stiff double cream will do in a pinch. Whip it properly boy, don't you dare use any aerosol trout) and some jam. Eating them plain (don't ask me how people do plain, due to their quite heavy, crumbly texture they have the ability to act like a Cream Cracker to your mouth leaving behind the same cemented shut feeling on your teeth due to crumbs mixed with saliva bonding to all available surfaces). Alternatively, it is known to see them served spread with butter however, it is not the traditional way of consuming these cakes due to the already high butter content. The answer to the other debate (jam or cream first) is thus:

The jam should always be applied first. No arguments, it's like putting the toilet paper on the holder; there is a right way and a wrong way. Cream first is simply put bloody wrong. Here's why:

If you put the cream on first then much like the toilet paper being so it tears off from the back you don't actually have a good clean estimate of how much you have or need when it comes to applying the jam (or wiping your arse to continue the analogy) you end up having to put far more on than required (or tear more off) because you have a surface to spread it on which has far more give and slip (or you just can't smurfing see the thing). This leaves you dissatisfied with both an uneven covering of jam and an overly sweet experience dripping in sugar (or a blocked drain in your toilet which no one wants to break up for fear of the trout being still there)

If however, you do it right, you apply the Jam first (or hang your toilet paper so the tear perforations are on the front of the roll) you can apply the right amount of Jam to ensure maximum coverage and minimum overdoing it. You can then pile a generous helping of clotted cream on top using the adhesive quality of the jam to aid you in the process of applying it. (This is akin to being able to determine exactly how many pieces of toilet paper is enough by cleanly counting in your head). This leads to great satisfaction for the consumer and a relief that they have done things right (they're also not scrabbling for the end of the toilet roll, it is after all in plain view).

Ladies and gentleman. When it takes a man from Finchley to put you all bloody straight on Scones, you know one thing: You're simply not very classy.

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You're right, Steve. It took seven paragraphs about the precise and delicate art of properly identifying and safely consuming scones to put the rest of us in our places. You are much classier than we are.

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Originally Posted by Steve

The jam should always be applied first. No arguments, it's like putting the toilet paper on the holder; there is a right way and a wrong way. Cream first is simply put bloody wrong. Here's why:

If you put the cream on first then much like the toilet paper being so it tears off from the back you don't actually have a good clean estimate of how much you have or need when it comes to applying the jam (or wiping your arse to continue the analogy) you end up having to put far more on than required (or tear more off) because you have a surface to spread it on which has far more give and slip (or you just can't smurfing see the thing). This leaves you dissatisfied with both an uneven covering of jam and an overly sweet experience dripping in sugar (or a blocked drain in your toilet which no one wants to break up for fear of the trout being still there)

If however, you do it right, you apply the Jam first (or hang your toilet paper so the tear perforations are on the front of the roll) you can apply the right amount of Jam to ensure maximum coverage and minimum overdoing it. You can then pile a generous helping of clotted cream on top using the adhesive quality of the jam to aid you in the process of applying it. (This is akin to being able to determine exactly how many pieces of toilet paper is enough by cleanly counting in your head). This leads to great satisfaction for the consumer and a relief that they have done things right (they're also not scrabbling for the end of the toilet roll, it is after all in plain view).

Ladies and gentleman. When it takes a man from Finchley to put you all bloody straight on Scones, you know one thing: You're simply not very classy.

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No, no, no, no, no, no. :nonono:

You apply both jam and clotted cream at the SAME TIME. Have I blown your mind? :whoa:

You cut the scone into two equal halves. You apply jam to one half, and clotted cream to the other half. You then put the two halves back together. :monocle:

I pronounce it "scone".

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Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian

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Originally Posted by Steve

The jam should always be applied first. No arguments, it's like putting the toilet paper on the holder; there is a right way and a wrong way. Cream first is simply put bloody wrong. Here's why:

If you put the cream on first then much like the toilet paper being so it tears off from the back you don't actually have a good clean estimate of how much you have or need when it comes to applying the jam (or wiping your arse to continue the analogy) you end up having to put far more on than required (or tear more off) because you have a surface to spread it on which has far more give and slip (or you just can't smurfing see the thing). This leaves you dissatisfied with both an uneven covering of jam and an overly sweet experience dripping in sugar (or a blocked drain in your toilet which no one wants to break up for fear of the trout being still there)

If however, you do it right, you apply the Jam first (or hang your toilet paper so the tear perforations are on the front of the roll) you can apply the right amount of Jam to ensure maximum coverage and minimum overdoing it. You can then pile a generous helping of clotted cream on top using the adhesive quality of the jam to aid you in the process of applying it. (This is akin to being able to determine exactly how many pieces of toilet paper is enough by cleanly counting in your head). This leads to great satisfaction for the consumer and a relief that they have done things right (they're also not scrabbling for the end of the toilet roll, it is after all in plain view).

Ladies and gentleman. When it takes a man from Finchley to put you all bloody straight on Scones, you know one thing: You're simply not very classy.

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No, no, no, no, no, no. :nonono:

You apply both jam and clotted cream at the SAME TIME. Have I blown your mind? :whoa:

You cut the scone into two equal halves. You apply jam to one half, and clotted cream to the other half. You then put the two halves back together. :monocle:

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You have failed this country!

Now that my Oliver Queen moment is over. You're wrong because then you have to fit the whole scone in your mouth. Now, this may be socially acceptable with say a donut, or similar it is not proper etiquette for eating a Scone. Scones are eaten in halves. As such you should not sandwich them together. Even putting the poor etiquette aside, you have encountered a trap. The trap being that if you do that, sandwich them together, you get less cream and jam per scone. That's simply the worst idea when it comes to eating a scone. Ok, so maybe not as bad as butter and hot gravy but I must say, it's close.

Additionally, Shorty... yes indeed you know you're not classy at all but that's ok. It's why we love you.

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Originally Posted by Steve

You're wrong because then you have to fit the whole scone in your mouth. Now, this may be socially acceptable with say a donut, or similar it is not proper etiquette for eating a Scone. Scones are eaten in halves. As such you should not sandwich them together. Even putting the poor etiquette aside, you have encountered a trap. The trap being that if you do that, sandwich them together, you get less cream and jam per scone. That's simply the worst idea when it comes to eating a scone. Ok, so maybe not as bad as butter and hot gravy but I must say, it's close.

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Ah, but that's when it gets clever! :spin:

You have a choice of eating the whole scone if you're not in polite company (scones should be small enough to fit in your mouth whole. If not, then they're too large).

Or, you can have one half with just jam, and the other with just clotted cream. You can eat them one at at a time, or alternate between a bite of jam scone and a bite of clotted cream scone.

The third option is that you can smush the two halves together so that the jam half gets clotted cream on it, and the clotted cream half gets jam on it. Then, you can separate them and you have two halves which have both jam and clotted cream on them.

:cool: