No one would believe him and Chavs would beat him up :)
No one would believe him and Chavs would beat him up :)
Well, I never! I'm... I'm offended. All your talk of 'what if there was', and 'there is no' modern Jesus. What the hell do you think I am, butterd cheese?! God!
To tell you the straight-out-forward truth, there is a modern Jesus. In fact, a whole bunch of 'em. I work on RPGs, there are others for different genres. Getting rid of the bad stuff and moving along the good #good to you, bad to you#. On not just games. Have you ever noticed that John Fruciante has a certain christy appearence.
Two words: LOL Jesus.
Summed up what I thought perfectly. xDQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/prod...?productid=494
But seriously, if he would be in the UK he would be sent to prison immediately because his views are racist (he's promoting christianity and the PC brigade CANNOT HAVE THAT).
He would probably be killed by the Catholic Church, for Blasphemy.
Jesus is born 1954
1968 jesus is a teen hippie
1977 starts listening to disco
1983 jesus wins beauty pagent for men
1990 metal is out so jesus goes and buys a flannel shirt and listens to grunge
1994 Kurt Cobaine dies so jesus becomes a corporate worker
1996 jesus' old friends are pissed when they find out he works for the "man"
1997 jesus' buddies kill him on a giant cross
1998 he comes back and beats the crap outta them
2004 jesus finds out about the passion and punches Gibson in the head
P.S. qoute He would probably be killed by the Catholic Church, for Blasphemy. quote There wouldn't be a Catholic Church without him duh.
You're all missing something- Jesus did return, in the 19th century. Well, Christ returned, though not as Jesus. His name was Wovoka, and he was a native American of the Paiute tribe. He started a religion known as 'Ghost dance', which was essentially Amercian tribal religion with ceratian Christian elements, e.g. they recognised the 'Great Sky Father' (although, this was not unique to Ghost Dancers- other tribes also adopted ceratin elements of Christianity). He proclaimed that the Great Sky Father was angry at the white men for destroying nature, and would destroy them or force them to flee back to Europe
The religion spread across the American mid-west, eventually reaching the Teton Sioux (the group of tribes including Red Cloud and Crazy Horse's Oglala and Sitting Bull's Hunkpapa). The religion was adopted by many of the tribes. The US government, who saw this as rebbellion, ordered it to be stooped. This lead to the massacre at Wounded Knee, were US soldiers murdered almost 300 hundred inncoent Sioux, mostly women and children.
So, basically, if Jesus came back, fascists would take him down. Because, he was, essentially, a communist. Not a Marxist, of course, but his veiws pretty neatly fall into the category of socialism, as much as the Christian church has attempted to distort them to appear the opposite.
I don't actually believe that Wovoka was really the Messiah, or even that Jesus was, but Wovoka did, and that's more important. (I actually think that Jesus didn't believe himself to literrally be God's son, but used that as a metaphor- he simply believed himself to be a messenger or prophet).
Well, from what I've heard, you have a very special version of the Bible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasquatch
Have you actually read the New Testament, by any chance? I mean actually read the ideas, not just read the words. (WTF?, you say). If you actually read a lot of what Jesus said, it's pretty lefty- it's all about the rich giving money to the poor, charity, equal rights, democracy- he's definitely a socialist, liberal or anarchist (in the sense of those who believe in the destruction of all centralist power, not punks with anarchy t-shirts).
Um, we are not talking of the second comming, but if Jesus was born today, right?
I am sure he would stress capitalism, and responsabilities of people to follow moral paths. Live to Gods law, then to your countries law. Pretty much the same premeise he would preach the first time around.
He would prolly be born around belthahem still, as the origional prophesies in the old testiment apply. All in all, it would be interesting, but I suggest you read some of the Old Testemets prophesies of the Christ Child and make more phesable play. Instead of basing his arival off his last stay, base it off the accounts of the profits.
And having a marlyn manson sig automatically deisqualifies you of being jesus :) kthx ;) just playing
Bipper
quo vadis captain chandler?
I just call him a hippie without the drugs. If he was born today, however, he'd just be an average hippie.Quote:
Originally Posted by Traitorfish
He'd probably put the original Holy Grail on ebay. Oh and start selling Jesus toast.
Give him an ipod, a cell phone and a moped.
settled
and he should so sell the holy grail on ebay
One way or another Im sure hed end up dead again.
He would be friends with the emo.