Let's just say that every now and then I wish I had Omnislash.
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Let's just say that every now and then I wish I had Omnislash.
Warning! If read, this post could potentially cause nightmares an vomiting. I suggest you don't read it. I don't like old people, they give me the creeps. Their like the living dead. They are real life zombies. So imagine my horror when I was admitted into hospital recently, an had to share a room with some of them. But it gets worse..... When I arrived, this old woman immediately started stalking me. After bothering me for awhile, I ask her where the toilet is, she shows me where it is, then asks me what im going to do in there! I ignore her question, an am about to leave, when she says, do you want me to come with you?! I say, no thanks! An she attempts to follow me to the toilet anyway, but im too fast for her, an I lock the door behind me, before she can follow me in. When I exit the toilet, she is there waiting for me, an starts complimenting me on my looks. When we get back in the room, she starts asking me questions, but says she can't hear me across the other side of the room, so she asks me to come an sit on her bed. At first her conversation is quite innocent, an she's just talking to me about religion, but then her conversation quickly turns sexual! At this point im totally freaked out, an beginning to think she's got the hots for me. A short while later she starts harassing me to get changed for bed. I was going to go to the toilets to get changed, but this old woman somehow convinces me to get changed by my bed, an just to close the curtains around me. Just as I get down to my underwear, she comes in! As I attempt to cover myself up, she says, don't worry, I wouldn't mind seeing your naked body! Then she leaves. Then later on that night, im attempting to get to sleep, an she says to me, can't you sleep? I say no. An she says, think about something nice, an it will help you get to sleep. Then she says, what are you thinking about? I say, I can't really think of anything. What im actually thinking is, leave me alone you sick old pervert. Then she says she has a suggestion for me. She says, imagine a lovely fellow wants to take you somewhere nice abroad, there are nice palm trees, an beautiful beaches, an its nice an sunny, an the best thing is, ill let you go if you agree to keep your knickers on! I was well an truly horrified! Isn't that the sickest thing you've ever heard?!
This thread title reminds me of the time I saw BoB's evil twin in Bond Street station. It sounds crazy, but it's true.
No, I have no old person stories. They're illegal around here, you see. :)
Old people have a smell that alternates between urine and dust.
I only know one old person. My only surviving grand-parent. My nan, who is so senile she doesn't know who I am anymore, seriously. She hasn't for about 5-6 years now. Doesn't know me, my brother, my dad. She's pretty good on knowing my Mum is her daughter, and that my uncle is her son, but she doesnt know or recognize HIS kids either. Its freaky, when I see her she talks to me like I'm just some stranger she's just met, because to her, I AM. S'quite sad really, I dont want to end up like that. :(
>>> Old people suck, everyone knows that..
An old person drives my bus. His name is Gerald, but I call him Magic Gerald.
He is not a bad person, not by any means, but I think he does smoke a bit too much, and no matter how much I protest, no matter how much I beg, he says he will not stop! :(
There is a old guy around here, and if he sees you walking down the street, he will walk over and tell you war stories. I say war stories, but I mean war story. He always tells the exact same one. :(
Quote:
Originally Posted by black orb
One time I was on the bus and this old woman decided to talk to me about how people vote for Labour thinking it's Socialism when it's really just an illusion of it and that Tony Blair and John Prescott have soiled what was once a fine political party.
I was 13. Funnily enough, I rather like Labour now.
Old people are awesome. I think they're great.
I was in a deli buying sandwiches a few months ago and this old man hobbled over to me with his cane and tapped me on the shoulder. He pointed to my shirt and asked me if I had gone to the Kaiser Chiefs concert at the Troubadour in LA a few weeks back and then said that he had been at the same concert. We talked for awhile and he asked me if I was going to Coachella and everything. It was crazy cool.
My grandfather is one of the coolest old people in the world, so much so that my rambling about him will be done via lj than here.
:(
I had to break really hard today because some old woman pulled in front of me and proceeded to drive about 20 mph in a 45 mph zone. She didn't speed up at all, either.
I came home today to see that not one but *two* cars were parked in my parking spot.
My first instinct was that my grandpa had died and that my grandma and sister were home
It turned out that my grandparents wanted to get a heater so they were looking at one we had in the attic. and my other grandmother (gold and silver cars look the same:() is just over for a visit.
Hmm, there's this old guy that came to the basketball games this year. He applauded when we played one of the songs I liked best (Radar Love) so I pointed him out to Kathryn, one of the other keyboard players.
SHe was like 'oh my gosh! I love old men!'
'x.x'
'no, not THAT way, silly. I mean I just want to go up to them and hug them! They're so cute!'