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Well, this is the north-west of England! ;) I've still got to venture into the two-person idea yet. Hmm... I just don't know what to do. It's so expensive. I've got two choices... Continue this charade, living with my parents, and never get happy, or destroy my academic life and work many hours at Sainsbury's instead...
Or I could see if any other options emerge in the future, but I don't know. I'll look into it more. Thanks though; you've given me a clearer view of what lies ahead.
You can get happy, it just might not be as soon as you like. Of course, you can be very unhappy no matter how well off you are in your own home, I assure you. I do understand where you're coming from, though. Just figure out if your happiness is really being controlled by your family or not.
Best advice in this entire thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Loony BoB
Qft.Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
BoB gave a lot of great advice, and I honestly think that you should just suck it up and stay with your family.
But um, what 17 year old with little money expects to live alone? That is one bizarre 17 year old. That isn't even close to a reasonable expectation, so I doubt that most teenagers looking to go out on their own would expect something like that.
When I went off to college, the first year I lived with 7 other girls. 7! And this second year I split a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 other girls. So yeah, if a 17 year old looked at me and told me that they wanted to live alone, I would laugh at them.
Shaun, you don't expect to live on your own do you? I mean, if you really want to do this, I wouldn't expect to live anywhere with less than 2 other roommates.
I believe in many cases it is, but, I just really need a fresh start.Quote:
Originally Posted by Loony BoB
And Miriel, I'd be perfectly happy living on my own. It's no different to how it is now. I'm all alone now, except the presence of my parents which isn't a good one. If you're talking about the money being the issue, well, I don't know. I would have thought that about £800 would be enough for a month's rent, food, bills, tax, everything BoB listed. Like he suggested though, I'd look into it.
£800 a month before tax = No chance in Hell that it'll be enough for a one person flat.
£800 a month after tax = You're really pushing it, even then.
Well, I need time to think this through. If I were to go ahead with this thirty-six hours, AND push in some college, here would be the week's plan (at a guess):
- Monday: Work, nine hours.
- Tuesday: College.
- Wednesday: Work, nine hours.
- Thursday: College.
- Friday: Work, nine hours.
- Saturday: Free day.
- Sunday: Work, nine hours.
What am I expected to do? Give up Saturday too? That's pretty unjust. I also believe that it wouldn't be as expensive over here than where you're at, BoB. But yeah, maybe I am getting the wrong end of the stick. I really want to change my life for the better but it seems that I can do nothing about it.
Dude, I make over £16,000 and struggle. That's something like £900-1000 per month, AFTER tax. This is Scotland, too. England is well known as the more expensive place to live. Do you live in a ghost town around Orkney or something? I didn't know they had ghost towns around Orkney, but I imagine that might be a cheaper place to live.
EDIT: Have you even researched how much wou will make after tax and how much it costs to get a one-person flat in your area?
EDIT: As for changing your life for the better, a lot of that can be done without moving, and I'm pretty sure it's up to you to get the mentality to do it. Happiness is largely how you react to things and how well you manage in a hard situation. If I didn't make the choice to be happy, I would be a very depressing person. Living alone means little if you don't have the mentality to take on a stressful or horrible situation and just deal with it.
My happiness is nothing to do with my mentality. It's others' low mentality that's often causing my depression, actually. So, yes, it is to do with mentality, but not my mentality. I haven't researched into anything because I haven't found the time or the resources to do it, but I intend to find out in the future.
How am I supposed to have a positive reaction to anything when everybody's putting me down? If somebody calls you a dickwad, do you say, 'Hey, thanks'? Okay, that was just an example, but I have just about nothing to react positively to in my current life, hence my depression. I can't even think straight. I'm supposed to be doing work in lesson right now, but I can't think at all. I think my large amount of hours at work (for a student) is the cause of this.
I learned to ignore petty insults, personally.
You don't have to care about my opinion, but I will say that going to get a flat before you have secured the income to support it is a massive mistake, particularly when you are depressed in any way.
It makes me think that you're jumping onto a platform above a deep hole when you don't know if the platform will support you - and you have nobody to throw you a rope if you fall down. One should always test the platform's strength and have someone around to throw them a rope if need be. That's why you have to start off with a flatmate, at least for a short time while you learn about the ups and downs of paying for your lifestyle.
I'm not trying to put you off, I'm just telling you how it is, because if you don't accept such things then you will fail. Horribly.
EDIT: It's also notable that if you're struggling to do your lessons because of the large amount of work you're doing, and you intend on doing more work to get this flatting situation, that you're going in the wrong direction.
That's a good idea - for most people. I just really feel I need to know somebody before I do something like that. Moving into a flat with some random person I don't know at all is not something I would be very comfortable with.
As someone who has known someone before moving in with them, I can tell you now that unless you're in a relationship with them, you knowing them will mean nothing once you start flatting together. It's a big mistake that I made and I can't think of many friends that I would ever let flat with me ever again because of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaun
But no, don't just get some random person. Flatmates should interview each other to get an idea of what things are like.
I think you're trying to get out of the frying pan and into Heaven or something. It doesn't work like that. If you want something better, accept the fact that you may actually not find something perfect. Accept the fact that you may not even get along with your flatmate a lot of the time. But so long as you respect each other you should be okay. But you will have to make sacrifices to suit them just as they will to suit you, and this is all part of growing up and living in the real world.
They might insult you from time to time. You'll fight once in a while. But if your family is really so bad that a person with knowledge on what the real world is actually like would not live with them, then a flatmate will be better. Nothing close to perfect, but a step in the right direction. And you should find it much better in comparison with your family.
But if you think that getting a flatmate that you hardly know will be no better than living in your current arrangement then you may as well continue living in your current arrangement until you are happy that you have a job which is definitely secure and will definitely provide you with MORE than the money you feel will be required to pay off all your potential bills.
Summary: If it's really that bad at home, then you shouldn't be worrying about living with a random stranger in a flat. If you are worried about that, then maybe your family isn't as bad as you say they are.
Ya. I spend most of time at my ship living with my cabin mates. Respecting or TOLERATING each other is a must must especially when you have to spend a lengthy amount of time with them and they are the nearest help you can get when you need it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Loony BoB
Strangely, I never quarrel or fight with any of them and we got along pretty well for more than a year already. Maybe it is different for you guys.Quote:
They might insult you from time to time. You'll fight once in a while. But if your family is really so bad that a person with knowledge on what the real world is actually like would not live with them, then a flatmate will be better. Nothing close to perfect, but a step in the right direction. And you should find it much better in comparison with your family.
For me, I dun have a choice. My life belong to the military. But I should say I eventually did miss my home and family even though I am living happily with a group of random strangers that turned into good friends.Quote:
But if you think that getting a flatmate that you hardly know will be no better than living in your current arrangement then you may as well continue living in your current arrangement until you are happy that you have a job which is definitely secure and will definitely provide you with MORE than the money you feel will be required to pay off all your potential bills.
Summary: If it's really that bad at home, then you shouldn't be worrying about living with a random stranger in a flat. If you are worried about that, then maybe your family isn't as bad as you say they are.
BoBBo pretty much covered my views. Either way, here's what I'm gonna do:
I'm moving out in 30 days to another town so I can go to university. I'll be 20 then, and I'm going to get a loan, which gives me $950 each month, $400 goes to rent. I'll probably get a job on the side, working one or two nights a week.