Jiro: Well ladies and gents, it’s now time for the Horniest Member Ciddie. I’ve employed the assistance of my wing-man Timekeeper to help me commentate on the nominees.
Timekeeper: Thanks Jiro. So, what are we working with today?
Jiro: I PM’d all our nominees, and asked them to detail a sexual fantasy of theirs.
Timekeeper: Interesting. So who’s up first?
Jiro: First up we have PG. Here’s what he had to say in response to my request –
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pureghetto
Oh it's a fantasy eh? Since this is EoFF and anything that enters my mind is Nc-17, I'll try something else:
Earlier this year I went clubbing with a friend of mine and her friend. I was keeping my distance because I didn't really think of her 'that way', but you know me, that's never how it goes. I went for a grind. Face-to-face. She's cool with it! I'm thinking this is awesome.
A few more trips to the club later and I'm making my intentions pretty smurfing obvious. It all culminated in this trip to the club with most of my friends when we're still going at it on the dance floor. This time I go for the kiss. Score! After we're done, and in front of everybody I ask her point blank 'your place?' and we eject. :love::love::love:
A few months later I'm at my brother's girlfriend's place, and her friend's there. I've seen this friend a few times, and think she's pretty cool. But she's not as outgoing as the first girl, so I make my intentions known by being near her all the time and using her lap as a pillow. What's this, she's scratching my head? Bam! Fun was had by all, and yes, even though we were in the middle of the living room in a public area I was able to work my magics without anybody taking off their clothes ~o:
If you want to use the above material and need something to start with, you can write about how I hit on everything. Lock up your mothers and daughters!
Timekeeper: Well, I got a Lapras. That's 4 new Pokemon in one night.
Jiro: I’m not sure that’s relevant to what we’re talking about here.
Timekeeper: Fine then, don’t support my dream of becoming a Pokemon Master.
Jiro: Can we just get on with it?
Timekeeper: Well after reading that, I agree that he is very horny.
Jiro: Not only that, but he seems to be good at it too. Practice?
Timekeeper: Haha, yes, I think you’re on to something there.
Jiro: I wouldn't trust him around anyone, he's said before he doesn't avoid girls who are taken. I daresay he enjoys the challenge!
Timekeeper: I don't really know him, so should I look for pictures of chastity belts for women associated with him? There are those medieval ones with spikes and such.
Jiro: I doubt even those would stop PG!
Timekeeper: Wow that is determination.
Jiro: Determination indeed. PG has skills like it’s some sort of sport!
Timekeeper: This should be a sport and we should be its commentators. Hold on, this
is a competition and we
are commentating, hell yea! :D
Jiro: That we are Timekeeper, that we are. On to our next nominee – Leeza! Here is her reply after I asked her what her sexual fantasy was:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
Haha. Nope. :)
Timekeeper: That reply gives us little to work with.
Jiro: Leeza obviously has something to hide.
Timekeeper: Unless she is hiding something. Yes, same brainwave there.
Jiro: Indeed it was. I wonder if her love of cats makes her an animal in bed?
Timekeeper:
Grrr. I wonder if she has seen Cats the Musical? Like,
many times.
Jiro: Whatever her sexual fantasy, it's obviously too explicit for our family-friendly board!
Next we have Sagensyg. Saggy has only recently turned 16, so his hormones are running hot. Here is his response:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagensyg
"I've always been a big fan of tentacles and extra limbs. :erm:"
Make sure you put my name.
GO GET EM TIGER.
Jiro: He sure is proud about his fantasies.
Timekeeper: Does he like Day of the Tentacle? I sure do. :love:
Jiro: I wonder if he's stayed up late at night playing it?
Timekeeper: There were plenty of late nights, I’m sure. :roll2
Jiro: He's only young, so I doubt whether he's been seeing much action!
Timekeeper: Well yes, he may not be legal, but as they say in Little Miss Sunshine, "That young stuff is the best stuff in the whole world. ... See, right now you're jailbait, they're jailbait. It's perfect. I mean, you hit 18, man! You're talkin' about three to five. "
Jiro: I guess sometimes it's worth it.
Timekeeper: We're not talking about how horny you are, we are discussing how horny they are. Okay, I think that's enough with our hormone filled teenager, next please?
Jiro: Who’s running this show? Fine, next up we have Rye. Here's what Rye had to say:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
"I'm in the kitchen, in only panties and a t-shirt, feeling the warm aroma of something in the oven take over my senses. I start to lose control. I take this delight out of the oven... it's a large moist chocolate cake.
I look at it lustfully, and I mutter to myself with a sensual smirk "Do you know what I like the most...?"
I take off my tiny panties and approach the cake, my heart pounding in my chest. I climb onto the table, and mount the cake, feeling the warm chocolate sensation melting me. And suddenly, I lose my breath, I give in, and I fart into the cake."
Timekeeper: She really knows how to kill a man. With a story like that, I'm not sure if Rye is horny, or is the type to make people horny and then crush their spirits.
Jiro: I'm sure it's all a part of her plan to get in the pants of unsuspecting strangers.
Timekeeper: And then fart on them??? :confused:
Jiro: There are worse fetishes than that, I'm sure. Though I'm not sure it's one I'm quite into...
Timekeeper: After reading that story, she reminds me of some girls I know who lead you along and then shut you down, for the pure pleasure of it. I don't know Rye so I really have no idea.
Jiro: Well that's enough on Rye and her cakefart fetish, next up we have Blue Harvest. Blue Harvest had this to say:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Harvest
My sexual fantasy is a threesome with Psy and Lev. I don't really want to go into anymore detail :tongue:
Timekeeper: I recall that post actually. Didn't he edit it and add that a foursome including Quin was his fantasy?
Jiro: He may have said that in a post, but only the threesome was his official response. It seems he's keen to let everyone know what his sexual fantasy entails.
Timekeeper: Seems like a trend among a few of these nominees.
Jiro: I guess that's why they're known as EoFF's horniest!
Timekeeper: Precisely. They're horny and proud of it.
Jiro: I wonder if Blue Harvest's group event with Psy and Lev is enough to label him EoFF's horniest? I guess we'll find out soon!
Timekeeper: Well put Mr. Commentator. If this were Nintendogs, you'd be Ted and I'd be Archie.
Jiro: Well Archie, time to look at our last nominee, NeoTifa.
Timekeeper: Which begs the question, can I use dog shampoo or will I go bald?
Jiro: I don’t know about that, I think it would give you a nice glossy coat.
Timekeeper: I did try dog biscuits, but they just didn't seem to be working for me....
Jiro: Uh, weren’t we discussing something else?
Timekeeper: You’re Ted, I’m Archie? Oh, wait, the Ciddies.
Jiro: Right, back to NeoTifa.
Timekeeper: And her fantasy?
Jiro: NeoTifa didn’t respond to the PM, so we have nothing to work with. :(
Timekeeper: My pet duck was called NeoTifa and I could never quite tame the thing.
Jiro: You might be on to something there. Well, if her avatar is anything to go by, she’s definitely one dirty character.
Timekeeper: Yea, by the looks of things burritos aren't the only things she enjoys deepthroating...
Jiro: I’m starting to feel uncomfortable all of a sudden. :erm:
Timekeeper: Probably due to the fact you’re only 16. What were you saying about Sagensyg? :roll2
Jiro: Er.. Well that’s enough from us here! Thanks for your commentary Timekeeper, and now back to Award Guy for the revelations!
Timekeeper: Keep wagging folks!
Jiro: Uh, right. :eep:
