Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (4th Twilight Movie)

Like all the other ones, the plot is stupid and the dialog is laughable. But as far as aesthetics and cinematic value go, each Twilight film does better than the last, and this was no exception.

I've never read the books, but the people who I went with to see it, as well as people I overheard while walking out, all were basically saying "what the hell are they going to make a whole other two hour movie about?" as apparently there's not much left to happen aside of verbal build up to a battle that ends up not happening.

I think it's safe to say doing two films off the last book in this case was pretty unnecessary. They just wanted to copy Harry Potter. :p

If anyone cares to know, this is what happens in the remainder of the book as best as I remember it:

(SPOILER)
Bella and Jacob speculate that the reason Jacob loved her is because all along he was meant to have a place in her family. (In other words, he wasn't in love with Bella, he was in love with her ovaries?)
Bella quickly recovers from the birth 'cause of her new super awesome vampire powers and she and Edward run around the forest a lot and have tons of vampire sex. Emmet and Rosalie talk about collateral damage.
Renesmee has the power to show people images in their head or something. Also she's growing up super fast.
Some new vampire character is introduced and he has a special power that tells him what other people's special powers are. He's all like, "wow you guys all have super cool powers one of you is even a shield!" and everyone is like "wtf who is the shield" and it turns out Bella is the shield! The new guy, whose name I forget, goes on about different types of powers and explains that the reason Bella was unaffected by certain powers, such as Edward's mind reading, is because she has a barrier around her.
Also the Volturi or whatever are coming because someone thought Renesmee was a human child turned into a vampire and went and tattled. The Volturi decide they are going to kill the Cullens and company as punishment.
Bella learns how to manipulate her shield powers so she can make a barrier around everybody instead of just herself. Lots of vampires and werewolves come over to help fight the Volturi. Lots of army building and training and tit.
The Volturi arrive, realize Renesmee is actually just half vampire and then they kill the snitch that told them otherwise. Then some other dude who is half vampire like Renesmee explains that she'll grow up really fast until her body is like twenty-ish, and then stay that way forever. The Volturi are like "well okay that's cool we guess" and then they go home.
Edward and Bella resume vampire sex.
The end!

That's the gist of it, yeah. You just left out the chick who tattles is the chick who was all "They killed Laurant!" at the wedding. Werewolves (which they finally admit, in the book at least, are not really werewolves--they are shape shifters) also suddenly have the power to age slowly, so Jacob can be with his darling for... longer than otherwise possible. And Alice is gone for most of the time, without telling anyone where she's going. Turns out she's searching for another of Renesmee's kind, to show the Volturi and prove she isn't a full vampire child.

I look forward to seeing how they manipulate the story in an attempt to make it interesting, 'cause the book after the baby is born is boring. Other than the constant sex.

These films would be so much better with an R rating. Censorship ruined Eclipse and it probably ruined Breaking Dawn (haven't seen it). You really can't do a vampire werewolf movie justice without gore and violent sex. Considering most of their audience seems to be haggard old women, they should just make the last one R and stop being pansies.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shiny

These films would be so much better with an R rating. Censorship ruined Eclipse and it probably ruined Breaking Dawn (haven't seen it). You really can't do a vampire werewolf movie justice without gore and violent sex. Considering most of their audience seems to be haggard old women, they should just make the last one R and stop being pansies.

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I think it was less censorship that ruins the Twilight films and more them being based on the Twilight books.

I never want to again find myself ever watching these poorly written, poorly acted, and poorly directed excuses for film.

Twilight is no more different than the vast majority of smutty romance novels, it's just the first one to be treated with any sense of respect or dignity.

Probably the best reason I can say Twilight is bad "literature": I have never been given a good thorough analysis of Edward and Bella as characters.