Let's play Stand Guard v4.0

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So, this soldier has something important.

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Hehe.

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I admit freely to being genuinely surprised when this guy jumped up.

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But he just mumbles trout about food.

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This bears the distinction of being something I actually have heard someone say when they were half asleep.

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This exchange was rewritten to tighten it up, and improve the tone. And I dunno about you, but if I were Locke, I'd be getting a little annoyed at this point.

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The sound of ALL YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES COMING TRUE

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...But not really.

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And the fight against TunnelArmr will finish us out for the Three Scenarios.

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I don't believe any of this has been changed, except that "Runic" is now "Sealing Blade."

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Here's how it appears in the command menu.

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The fight goes well, I get another Air Knife from him and immediately equip it and start wailing on him while Celise runs interference on the magic.

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Somewhere, an Imperial Engineer cries.

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That's all, that's it! The Battle of Narshe is upon us!


NEXT:

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UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

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Did I mention that the Empire already INVADED your city and killed, like real people? And dogs?

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I made sure he always introduced himself the same way.

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Locke slams open the door and starts yelling, being the loudmouth he is.

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These are their "Oh sh*t" faces.

Anyway, the question is asked, how is this known? And...

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DRAMA!

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Thought this tightened up nicely.

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And apparently have been hanging around Locke a lot because you can't keep your BIG MOUTH SHUT

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He now uses the Samurai-character's name, whatever it happens to be, here.

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Just when it looks like a fight is about to break out...a fight breaks out.

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DRAAAAMAAAA!!

NEXT TIMES:

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So, Kefka decides he's gonna just walk in there and get the dang thing himself.

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And our dudes and dudettes ain't having that sh*t.

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This is very close to the GBA version, if not exactly.

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Why did everyone look at Edgar? Did he let rip a massive fart or something?

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Meow.

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Final Fantasy VI just passed the Bedchel test.

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I thought this was a good change.

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Here's the parties I use, just so you know. Gau has Marshal, so he can wipe the floor with just about anything. Teaming Edgar and Tina gives me a full round of two multi-target attacks, powered up by the Hyper Wrist for Edgar, who'll use his Auto Bow Gun, and the Earrings for Tina, who will cast Fire. Party #1 is my Kefka Squad.

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Watch out for this guy. I don't know if it was a bug that happened while I was hacking the game, but he now casts Death pretty frequently. Sealing Sword is your friend.

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So let's get to it!

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Kefka puts up a surprisingly pathetic fight. No Icera or Lv3 Confu, he just sort of hits people and lets me steal a Super Ether.

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Get lost, ya palooka

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Is this a call back to Final Fantasy I on the NES, where when you escaped from a battle, it said "Close Call..."?

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So, anyway, Tina seems to be having some kind of issue.

NEXT TIME:

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UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

So Tina somehow becomes super powerful all of a sudden and decides her first act of awesomeness is to seriously :bou::bou::bou::bou: everybody up.

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Some kind of reaction, indeed.

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Didn't her mother ever teach her it isn't nice to yell at frozen magical creatures from long-forgotten wars?

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As usual, Edgar's good advice goes unheeded.

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ZAP!

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And that's the last we see of Tina for a while. Imagine if they'd never found her.

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But, of course, the game has to go on, people paid good money to see this once upon a time...

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This is the beginning of the second chapter of the game. You'll notice how they both begin with someone waking up in Arvis' bed.

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Who would've wanted to stay in Narshe while the party was looking for Tina? I guess if the game had enough ram for it, everyone could just go, but then the whole spiel about protecting the Eidolon and Banan would've become moot.

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Cayene has a really good line now and again.

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I actually stopped playing here the first time I played the game, because I was playing at a friend's house and he moved away after that.

NEXT TIME

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(cue music)

The personality make-over creates a real feel. So congrats. The story overall is told well enough to exemplify humanity's problem of having a dangerous lust for power.

Even without dialogue and/or the ability to see it I would be horrified hearing about this story for the first time.

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD.

So, first things first. Mithril Shields are now available at the Armor Shop.

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So I gets them.

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I decided not to do the scene here until later on.

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Just passing through Figaro, and see if you can spot the Final Fantasy Tactics reference here.

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Everybody in Colingen seems to be either freaking out about property damage or going on and on about some girl named Rachel that I didn't bring to an untimely demise and STOP LOOKING AT ME.

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...And people die.

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She should have let him fall. He's a thief, he coulda just rolled with it.

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But she doesn't, and so loses her memory.

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trout is pretty bleak for Locke.

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So bleak.

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Ah, cry me a river ya pansy

NEXT TIME: Herbal Necromancy!

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you think that I'm going to stop but I won't stop saying UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

So, anyway! My take on this whole thing is that the Crazy Old Man (thusly named) came to Locke when Rachel was recovering from her fall and asked Locke an open ended question like "You'd do anything to protect her, wouldn't you?" And Locke said "yes," so what happened was that this guy preserved Rachel mostly without Locke's consent. This has to be a really awkward situation for Locke to be in.

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But I'd rather focus on the fact that he's now called "Crazy Old Man."

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Wait for it...

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:D

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Sidequest: activated!

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Remember, Locke has more dialogue than any other character. He's choosing this particular dialogue to smurfin whine about his sorta not completely dead girlfriend and ...sh*t, so anyway!!

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We get some informations of importance about Tina!

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The red dot on the map is where I am, JUST IN CASE ANYBODY DOESN'T KNOW. I have the choice right now of walking north to the white dot in what looks like a dragon's throat, and getting a Chocobo and ridin it down like a girl but I ain't gonna do dat.

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I'm walkin. Screw these guys.

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This thing is great. It does like, about 70% of the damage Macias is doing to EVERYTHING on the screen. Seriously, having Edgar along is something the programmers were nudging the player towards in this manner.

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I just wanted to stop for a second and say that I smurfin hate these smurfin birds who halve your goddamn HP all the time!

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Here's what I brought on this trip, courtesy of Edgar's half-price discount at Figaro Castle.

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WTF?

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So you mean America?

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So you mean Canada?

Ok, I'm not here for a friggin sociology lesson, where's the fireball wrapped up chick in the nightie?

NEXT TIME:

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Bingo!

-unmarked spoilers ahead-

So, we're goin' into Zozo, hopefully to find Tina, and I'll show you how to make some money, too.

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It's always raining in Zozo, and while the people in Jidoor say everyone here is a liar, we'll soon find out that's not quite true, either.

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Hill Gigas is an enemy that appears outdoors in Zozo. You can steal a Gigas Glove, which is worth a lot of gil. I use NoiseBlaster and make him earthquake himself while I steal it.

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I'd be very surprised if anyone knew where this quote is from.

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The Chain Saw is kind of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it has more attack power than the Drill, but on the other hand, the success rate of the insta-kill attack and the rate at which it occurs make it less than ideal for boss fights. I stick with my Drill for those.

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This guy isn't lying, he's just being kind of a horse's ass.

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Whereas THIS guy is full of sh:ffvising::ffvising:.

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And yet, this guy isn't technically lying either.

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I'm not saying I'm going to write a FF6 fanfic that starts right here, but I did have that idea.

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This is a rare example of an item that was totally unchanged from Woolsey's version.

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Zozo is not the first dungeon town in a JRPG, because Dragon Quest 1 had Hauksness, I believe, where you get the Armor.

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Fatal Fury reference.

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This :ffvising::ffvising::ffvising::ffvising:ing guy!!

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He's an even bigger prick than Vargas. Stick it, Dadaluma!

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Wakey wakey, eggs and baccy

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I wonder what Ramuh was puzzled by.

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So, Tina has a bit of an episode for a minute and then falls flat on her dumb face.

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SUSPENSE, DRAMA, INTRIGUE

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Yeah, what's the deal with that?

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Yeah, whatever...we know better, don't we!

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Is this meant to be an oblique reference to Final Fantasy IV, what with Rydia and the summoning and all that?

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"We were all pretty pissed off that we didn't see it coming."

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Tempted to make a Beavis and Butthead joke here, but no.

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"Cuz, you know, chicks dig powers."

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This question had not occurred to me to ask when I read it for the first time, but I anticipated the answer just the same as anybody else.

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WTF?

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This conversation is considerably longer than anything that's come before, especially because the characters aren't moving or doing anything really while it's going on.

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The full version of this line is stored in the code to Final Fantasy III v1.0 (the original SNES release), but was unused in-game.

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Yeah, what gives?

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MAGIC EVERYWHERE IN THIS BITCH

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Huh.

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And so, in a long tradition of Final Fantasy heroic sacrifices, Ramuh blows himself to kingdom come.

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;_;

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This line was cleared up a bit.

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Those would be the words I'd use to market this game.

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And we'll get some Chinese Food while we're out, you look like you haven't eaten anything in days.

NEXT TIMES

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UNMARKED SPOILERS...ah you get the idea

Gonna try something a little different...

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD



This video should be much better quality.

This video is longer than the first two. Is this cool? Should I keep making videos?

Talk to me, guys! Don't be shy!

Every time I make a new video, I learn something...

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