I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor says that if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.
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I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor says that if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.
Ladies! What? This? No, no. I was at a costume party earlier...the hostess' dog attacked me...so I had to stab it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyle
Attachment 50988
Liz: Do you have a neck pillow I could borrow? I blew mine up and now it smells like my mouth.
Jack: I don't sleep on planes. I don't want to get incepted.
I once saw a pack of wild dogs take over and successfully run a Wendy's.
Vaginal mesh: Nice try, prolapse.
I don't want to go back to England. I can't suffer through the London Olympics. We're not prepared, Liz! Did you see the Beijing Opening Ceremonies? We don't have control over our people like that!
I like your top. I’m a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.
Are you a pre-op transcentaur?
See, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens when there's no order, no planning. Hitler and Martha Stewart would've hated that wedding.
Albino ninja!
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once French kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old.
Okay, in my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.
Passing out, swearing on St. Patrick's Day? Is nothing sacred?
Relationships are like sharks, Liz: if you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.