Hm. I think someone is confusing 'bad boy' with 'kinky'.
See, I like to think I'm an extremely nice guy. My girl seems happy with that, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't like me being nice and caring anyways.
This does not in any way preclude chains and paddles. I'm likely the nicest guy half my female friends will ever meet, but I'm also likely the kinkiest.
Unfortunately among the loudest groups are the following two: Wild-eyed castrate-'em-all feminists, and self-hating idiots who go for men who have zero concept of being anything except a wife-beating loser. The fact that both groups speak with what they believe to be absolute authority on behalf of the other doesn't help, because it makes women look even more indecisive than they already are.
I don't understand how a bad boy could be exciting. Worrying that I'll be beaten because he's drunk/high, or cheated on because he's bored, sounds less like excitement and more like pointless pain.