Kasumi - Stolen Memory
So Kasumi and I are heading off to a swanky party at a mansion owned by a dude called Hock. Shepard has been down to Asda (or Walmart to you Yanks) and bought himself some new threads. He scrubs up pretty well! Kasumi even makes an approving comment. Side note: Kasumi has a very attractive mouth. I like the way her bottom lip comes out further than her top one. Plus she sounds a lot like Kathleen Turner from Romancing the Stone.
OK perve session over, we arrive at the mansion. I am one suave-looking mother-f**ker so I am obviously granted access. Unfortunately, Kasumi still looks like she's attending a Comic-Con as a low budget Assassins Creed guy. She is immediately rebuffed. You could've worn a dress or something! We were here to obtain some graybox that her old partner Keiji owned. This guy Hock apparently had it locked in his vault. Exciting!
Shepard heads in on his own and starts snooping around. There were a few interesting conversations to be had before I was instructed by Kasumi to case the vault. There looks to be a lot of things we need before we can break in. I love all this James Bond stuff! First thing we need is a voice-recording from our host, Hock. This is remarkably easy to obtain as the dude loves the sound of his own voice. People gather round like sycophants as he spews absolute bullsh*t. Recording obtained!
We go outside (the view is amazing, btw) and find a datapad on the wall. How very careless! It mentions some dude called Captain Roe. I'm thinking that's important. We then head to the first floor and some action! We discreetly take out the guards... well, not that discreetly. I machine-gunned them to death. I'm sure no-one noticed that at the party 15 yards away. We find a datapad and a password! Let's hope it's an important one and not Hock's Instagram or something.
Next stop, Hock's bedroom! We need to obtain some of his DNA to use on the vault. The password we obtained turned out to be the key to getting past the guard outside his bedroom. That and we told him we were maids and offered an exemplary turndown service. Once in, there were lots of items to investigate to find his DNA. A wine glass, a datapad, some antique weapons... though I flatly refused to check the box of tissues next to his bed.
Last step was a power cable running out of the vault. There was a conduit in the hallway (blue is neutral, brown is live - never forget!) and the last barrier was removed! We head into the vault and are immediately reunited with all our gear. Oooft, time for some action methinks!
There's an entrance here to Hock's ridiculously large display room. He's got the friggin' head of the Statue of Liberty! They were shocked, but Shepard and Kasumi couldn't pass up the opportunity to grab a selfie. There were some other interesting items here too. Some old Prothean artifacts, a number of sculptures, a Pacman cabinet and the Annabelle doll. The most important item though was Keiji's graybox thingy that Kasumi wanted. Mission accomplished!
It obviously wasn't going to be that easy though. Hock's head suddenly appeared as a huge digital image right next to us looking like something from The Lawnmower Man. Anybody seen that? No, just me then. He said he recognised Kasumi as soon as she arrived. I told you you should have worn a dress!
We were soon joined by the infamous Captain Roe and all her little helpers. This was pretty tough as there were some badass mechs here too. Plus, not having a third team member really didn't help. The waves were relentless as we slowly made our way through a car park and finally outside. I took the hide-a-lot-and-don't-be-stupid approach and it clearly paid off.
The final confrontation and it reminded me of the helicopter fight in Metal Gear Solid. I think I even said "A hind D?!!" in my best Solid Snake voice. Hock was not in a Hind D though, it was some souped-up gunship with a shield. I figured out that fighting him in the open was a good way to die extremely quickly. My situation was not improved by waves of goons also taking pot shots at me. There was lots and lots of hiding on my part.
Once we'd dealt enough damage to Hock's ship, Kasumi did this cool-as-smurf jump onto the ship itself and took out the barrier for good! Hock was then just hanging in the air like he just don't care. A few seconds of my trusty lazer and this guy was toast.
There was a final touching cut scene with Kasumi as she listened to the message from her old flame Keiji. It was one of those depressing "if you're reading this then I've been horribly killed" messages. Pretty grim. The information on the box apparently had some dirt on the alliance and Keiji wanted Kasumi to destroy it. This box was her only image of her old partner though and she was reluctant to destroy it. I pointed out that the guy had one of those stupid chin beards and we'd be doing him a favour by destroying any memory of that. She agreed. Loyalty obtained!
Tune in next time when Jacob's Netflix account is frozen cutting short Shepard's binge-watch of Gilmore Girls.
