Ahhh! It's time... It's time for the Most Excellent Couple award!
Bri & escobert
Damn. This couple is off the level hot. I mean really, damn. News is they have a baby too? That baby is probably really, really, really stinking cute. Bri is a sweetheart and escorbert is, well.... he's Bert. He likes his guns and his 'MURICAH! And you know what? Aint nothing wrong with that when you're cute as smurf man.
Now that's the good out of the way, on to the bad. Rumour has it (and I spoke to a source close to the couple) that they could be on the brink of a split after Bri found Bert caressing his rifle in a super steamy shower romp. This is equally sad, as it's also rumoured that they have a baby on the way.
Formalhaut & Mr. Carnelian
If you don't believe that Formay and Carny are Most Excellent!, then please get yourself over to Specsavers for some new glasses or something because these guys are serving cute overload on a silver platter, hunty. These guys are CLASSY as well as cute. Can you even HANDLE them right now?
Of course, I do have some recent gossip for you though! According to one of their friends, Mr Carnelian is very upset with Formalhaut right now, as it's rumoured that Jordan may have thrown out one of Carny's prized possessions during a spring clean! The item? It was a biscuit tin in the shape of a London double decker. It's all very sad, as the two do have a baby on the way.
Jinx & Denmark
These two have recently been married - and it was all very wonderful apparently. I wouldn't know though I mean I wasn't there, they had to have it in New York, I mean what's even wrong with Newcastle? Anyway. These two have been together forever pretty much, their relationship is built on friendship and alcohol. Like the best ones!
UPDATE: BREAKING - Jinx has filed for divorce! She allegedly discovered Denmark trashing all of the takeout Chicken Wing menus. If that wasn't bad enough, he was trashing them into his own secret safe which was filled with hot wings! She flipped her trout. The two are currently in discussions over who keeps Brandog Stark - who is, yes, expecting a baby.
Night Fury & Pheesh
This Brit and Aussie duo are a power couple here at EoFF. One is a massive grump, and the other is full of class and elegance. Who am I kidding? That is the worst and most untrue description ever. They are the least classy couple in the list, but you know what? Obviously their relationship works. They have the 'Best Friends' relationship, are full of zany quips and inside jokes. Also, Pheesh is really handsome!
They might have hit some dark times lately, it is with a sad heart I announce that this couple have had their first fight after Pheesh caught Night Fury placing whoopee cushions around the house. He is said to be offended that she thought he couldn't produce his own flatulence. We are hoping they get back on track, as this couple are expecting a baby.
Pike & Mister Adequate
Pike and Mister Adequate have been together since the world started man, like can you even remember when they weren't a couple? At the top of this couples list of aspirations is the desire to become complete robots who can boot up any video game ever made and play them together from wheverer they are. They're also saving to place their deposit to put a mortgage on the moon.
Uh oh, it looks like things might be getting rocky in robotville. Pike may have totally destroyed Mister Adequate in Overwatch so now he's thrown a hissy fit and is pretty mad about it. I'm really sad over this one, as the couple were expecting a pizza.
sharkythesharkdogg & Pumpkin
One is old, one is younger, one is American, one is Canadian.... The list of differences just goes on but honestly who even cares it is 2016 man, let people live, bitches. This couple have been together ages now man, it's no big deal. They go out and fix cars together and all sorts - like do you ever fix up cars? No. Cutest couple moment? Sharky riding his bike home to save Pumpkin from the lizards breaking in to the apartment - basically Sharky is SUPERMAN. Also, if that doesn't sell you on this couple - they have a fricken cat!
Bad news for Pumpdog fans though. Things are not going great. Pumpkin got caught putting the wrong oils into a car by mistake and instead of owning up to it, she BLAMED THE CAT. This can not go down well. I'm even more sad as the couple are expecting a baby.
Shauna & Dat Matt
What can be said about these whacky Scots that we haven't already witnessed on the forum on a day to day basis? They're the jokers of the bunch, however, such humour has given their relationship a strong foundation that has given them years of happiness! They like to binge watch Disney movies and be whacky in their free time - who can argue with that?
Sadly though, it looks like the 'Shauna's' are now on the rocks after Dat Matt spent way too much time on FFXIV running around naked - Shauna was so embarrassed and has made him sleep on the couch. That can't be good, because it's rumoured that Dat Matt is expecting a baby.
starlet & Mirage
I gotta say, these two are the couple that made us all jump out and say 'WHAT THE SMURF?'. Who would have known that it would be starlet, a beautiful American Goddess who would melt the icy heart of the great Viking, Mirage. These two are pretty much legendary. They've just finished their whirlwind tour of Europe, and I gotta say - judging by the pictures I'm really jealous.
Unfortunately though, it looks like starlet may not be headed back over their anytime soon as it seems that Mirage is angry over something. I spoke to a source close to the couple who claims that it's because starlet refused to groom him like a dog. Ouch! It's really a shame as I've heard the couple are expecting a baby.
So who is the cutest of these couples? I don't know. Perhaps we should have a Thunderdome... What would their specials be and how would they fare... Let's take a look!
ROUND 1
NIGHT PHEESH vs PADEQUATE
Padequate don't turn up! They're too busy playing vidya - and they don't care!
WINNER - NIGHT PHEESH
ROUND 2
DINX vs MIRAGELET
Dinx come flying in and use their special move, FLAMBE! They gather all of the booze in the house and set fire to it to try and blow up the opposition....
HOW WILL MIRAGELET COPE?
Uh oh! Mirage freezes over the fire with a glance and it catches on to Dinx, freezing them on the spot. starlet isn't going to let her beau fight this alone, she leaps into the air and tosses down the scissors from her grooming back and smashes up Dinx.
WINNER - MIRAGELET
ROUND 3
DAT SHAUNA vs ESCOBRI
Dat Shauna use their special move JOKES on the oppostions, but since Escobri are American, they don't get the British humour! It has NO EFFECT. Bri uses her special hair flip which ties up Dat Matt in a knot - Shauna doesn't seem bothered and is instead laughing. They hand the win over to Escobri! As a victory dance, escobert gets astride his prize hog, Johnson, from the farm and begins firing 20 rifles into the air.
WINNER - ESCOBRI
ROUND 4
PUMPDOG vs HAUTCARNY
This is all starting very well, they greet each other politely and start handing out tea and scones and biscuits. WAIT! Pumpkin has kicked off, she says that's not a biscuit and throws it back into Formy's face, he crumbles under the weight of failure - which leaves only Carny! Carny whistles and along comes his London Double Decker, he gets inside and blasts along trying to run over Pumpdog.
But.
Sharky gets out his magic wrench and throws it at the bus, it smashes and disappears! Never to be seen again, Carny is distraught! Pumpdog is celebrating their win, when out of nowhere, Formy leaps from a balcony weilding the double decker biscuit tin
"I'LL SHOW YOU BISCUITS, YOU DAMN CANADIAN GOOSE! TAKE MY HOB NOBS YOU :bou::bou::bou::bou:S!"
He brings down the rain of Hob Nobs onto Pumpdog and they are just buried beneath the pile of real English biscuits.
Formy takes Carny into his arms, handing him back the double decker biscuit tin.
"I promise you from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Carnelian, I will keep your biscuit tin full every day for the rest of our lives, my love."
Wow.... err, I really lost track of this. I don't think we can compete any further now after that show.... I just, I wasn't expecting it...
I guess I'll leave you lot to decide the real winner of this brutal contest.
The winner is.....
