Quote:
Senator Mitchell's Judiaciary Committee staff investigators were known on Capitol Hill as the Wraith Riders, after the relentless spectral, house mounted pursuers of hobbits in The Lord of the Rings. It was said in hushed tones on Capitol Hill that the Wraith Riders could find something on anyone: could msake it look like Mother Teresa had run a whorehouse in Calcutta; that St. Thomas More had been having it off with Catherine of Aragon; or that Dr. Albert Schweitzer had conducted ghastly live medical experiments on helpess, anesthetized African children on behalf of Belgian drug companies.
However, faced with the blemishless Judge Cooney, the Wraith Riders were left to whinny there was nothing with which to hang him, not even an unpaid parking ticket. He was an exemplar of every judicial virtue. Not one of his decisions had been overturned by a higher court. As for his personal life, he was so reasonable and wise that he made Scorates sound like a raving, bipolar crank.
Dig deeper, Senator Mitchell told the Wraith Riders. Or dig your own grades. Off they rode, shrieking.
And so, on day two of the Cooney hearings, Senator Mitchell, smiling pleasantly as usual, began: "Judge Cooney, you are, I take it, familiar with the film The Kill A Mockingbird?
Judge Cooney answered yes, he was pretty sure he'd seen it, back in grade school.
"Is there anything about that you'd care to... tell the committee?"
Judge Cooney looked perplexed. Tell? He wasn't quite sure he understood the question.
Senator Mitchell held up a piece of paper as if mere physical contact with it might forever contaminate his fngers.
"Do you recognize this document?"
Not from this distance, Cooeny replied, now thoroughly perplexed.
"Then let me refresh your memory," Senator Mitchell said. The vast audience watching the proceedings held it breath, wondering what radioactive material Senator Mitchell had unearthed to incriminate this spotless nominee. It turned out to be a review of the movie that the twelve-year-old Cooney had written for The Beaverboard, his elementary school newspaper.
"The the picture is overall OK," Senator Mitchell quoted, "it's also kind of boring in other parts."
Senator Mitchell looked up, took of his glassed, paused as if tfighting back tears, nodded philosophically and said "Tell us, Judge, which parts of To Kill A Mockingbird did you find quoteunquote boring?"
In his concluding statement several grueling days later, Senator Mitchell said in a more-in-sadness-than-in-anger tone that he could "not in good conscience bring myself to vote for someone who might well show up at the Court on the first Monday of October wearing not black judicial robes but the white uniform of the Ku Klux Klan."