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A whole new world, right before your eyes. All of the whole new world. Galuf needs help defending his island?
I personally find daggers my go-to weapon when dispatching spouses; Unne's dad learned the hard way poison is the difficult method. Glad he sorted that out though.
OK, back to short updates Tuesday-Friday mornings.
Chapter VII: Another World
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/00planet.jpg
Yes, they do think that island is the whole planet
Having failed to find Galuf, our heroes pitch a tent and settle in for the night. Continuing with the previous trend, Faris has a disturbing confession
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/01matches.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/02police.jpg
Good going as usual, Faris
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/03jail.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/04tzep.jpg
Of course Tzepish controls the police
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/05fedex.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/06galuf.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/07thatthing.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/08sky.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/09villain.jpg
what kind of villain indeed
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/10ffs.jpg
Oh, for smurf's sake
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/11pureevil.jpg
Now that is pure evil
Galuf to the rescue!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/12morons.jpg
Well, that was an easy escape.
Better still, we now proceed to the best goddamn music in any FF game, ever
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...tmusicever.jpg
...where we meet...wait, what?
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...hatsracist.jpg
That is so racist
Tzepish then sends us flying by setting off an explosion centred around his own castle because that's how villains roll. Being unkillable, we land on a different continent, unscathed, and head off in the only direction that we're able to go, to find...
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/15pointless.jpg
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, surely the next shiny thing on the world map will allow us to advance the plot!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/16ownage.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/17badidea.jpg
Or it would if we could get at any of them
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/18natch.jpg
Of course, Tzepish.
No more shiny spots on the map accessible, I guess we'll just wander aimlessly forever. But hey wait, there's an area that you have to cross a specific square to reach. Surely that can't be plot-relevant, right?
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/19moogle.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/20holes.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/21goafterhim.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/22okay.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/23delicious.jpg
...
So we drop into a pit in order to chase down and eat a sentient being. Perfectly in character for us!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/24eat.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/25deal.jpg
Well, it worked! He led us straight to...
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...icmealtime.jpg
An entire village of delicious, delicious moogles. IT'S EPIC MEAL TIME!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/27reason.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/28six.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/29w00t.jpg
w00t!
Of course, it's not like we're going to keep our word and spare them...not when we're this hungry!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/30lineup.jpg
But it seems Galuf's granddaughter has finally found us! A bit too late for the moogles, though.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/31forest.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/32darklord.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/7/33what.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...locausting.jpg
Would you believe Galuf owns a frikkin' castle?
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...kkincastle.jpg
A whole frikkin' castle!
Tomorrow: I'll Think Of A Chapter Title Later
Oh man, I could use a slow-roasted pulled Moogle sandwich...
Holocausting should be a word.
Now it is. I'm going to make every attempt to use it in FFXI the next time someone asks me what I'm doing while I'm working on a trial.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
That's strange. Usually it's finding Galuf that causes me to pitch a tent.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleys
I didn't know you were a cub!
I look forward to reading this every afternoon.
Chapter VIII: I'll Think Of A Chapter Title Later
The quality of inhabitants of Galuf's castle is...unsurprising.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/00grenade.jpg
I guess we'd better see how the Hiryuu is holding up after carrying six people across the length and breadth of the world
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/01hiryuu.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/02coccyx.jpg
Heh. Coccyx.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/03injuries.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/04familiar.jpg
Uh...didn't we already play this story arc at Carwen?
This time there's a twist -- The Hiryuu is only going to live for ten minutes!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/05you.jpg
Between the mountain with the magic plant and Castle Bal, we find a town that we can't go around, run by Ninja Wolf, an old friend of Galuf's. He challenges Unne to a duel, and attacks using one of Dorgann's techniques, which Unne recognizes.
Unne cuts Ninja Wolf in half, and they catch up on old times. Ah, nostalgia. Flashbacks are so gr...wait, what?
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/06tenminutes.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/07legs.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/08grow.jpg
Now the people of Ninja Wolf's town come out of hiding. They are...unique.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/09happywolf.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/10satanist.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/11gate.jpg
The mountain climb is boring, so we'll skip to finding the Hiryuu plant.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/12hungry.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/13dont.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/14jfc.jpg
God, our party is dumb
About two minutes later...
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/15openup.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/16noway.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/17ohwell.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/18sharks.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/19guards.jpg
Yeah, you should.
Well, we've got like 30 seconds left before the Hiryuu dies, best run on up to -- what's that, Lassie? Cara has cancer?
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/20cancer.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/21cure.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...timateevil.jpg
We'll need a hiryuu to get there. OH BUGGER THERE'S LIKE 10 SECONDS LEFT!
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/23guy.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...iantwanger.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/25tail.jpg
Uh...guys? She's dying while you talk about her giant wanger
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/8/26cured.jpg
The plant worked! Hiryuu is cured!
Tomorrow: Chapter IX: A Cure for Cancer
Make more, Bleys. Stop working. Stop going outside. Just, please, make more.
I'm starting to be convinced that you wrote the dialogue, Bleys. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by dialogue
I would love to take credit for the dialogue, but alas, I'm not that funny.
That's a tail!? My entire life is built upon a lie.
Well, at least Krile had not contracted syphilis during the interim. That would have been awkward.
If only there were a convenient cure to cancer on the island to the northwest of here.