The never answered questions...

They couldn't beat the pigs in a fight.

Why do most of the main characters have relatively normal names (Cecil, Rosa, Lydia, Gilbert, et cetera) instead of crazy fantastical ones like in other games (Frioniel, Mash, Cayenne, Cloud, et alia)?

Because with the inclusion of Dwarfish ones, an attention whore of a main character, and inexplainable moving hands they had to make at least one thing seem remotely normal.

What was Cecil doing before becoming a Dark Knight?

He lived like a prince along with Kain being raised by King Baron.

How come you're able to bring the hovercraft to the underworld? Wouldn't it melt in the heat?

No, there is a sign on the hovercraft that says 'Please don't melt me, heat. Thanks.'

WTF was Zemus there for?

He exists to hold Zeromus in his soul.

Why do Larva type enemies steal MP when they have no use for it?

If they gather enough MP, which is roughly estimated to be around 55234875102354504654897842145421321, they will be able to unleash a deadly attack called 'Summon Chuck.Norris', which will deal 9999999999 damage to all characters in and out of battle, all NPCs, all monsters including Zeromus, vehicles, your GameboyAdvance/SP/DS/emulator and you.

Why does ChuckNorris (with a space) change to Raoul Duke in these forums? And how does it affect FFIV in any way?

Because a literary hero like Raoul Duke is ridiculously superior to the deadbeat subject of a brain-dead Internet meme. This has nothing to do with FFIV, though, since a righteously transcendant fellow like Duke surely holds nothing but disdain for your "fantasy" games.

Why does Zemus need his Mind to report to himself?

Because he was so absent-minded, so unbearably absent-minded, his mind decided to really be absent and started going around on its own.

Does Zemus' breath stink? And if so, what did he eat?

It does since he blasts you with his blue cheese breath.

Why does the blue dragon absorb fire if he's an ice enemy?

In fantasy games, not everything is as it seems.

In FFIV, you can go to the moon, take a stroll, without any form of spacesuit or breathing equipment, and there are also mythical creatures like goblins on Earth and dwarves underground. What kind of age are they in?

The disparately advanced technology you see in the game, such as the Tower and Giant of Babel, are products of the Lunarians, whom we know are advanced far beyond contemporary human capabilities. Even the second moon is their work, which would explain how you can breathe on it. And goblins and dwarves don't necessarily belong to any particular time anyway.

Why was Namingway changed from a bespectacled cat in a turban to a rabbit in a hood in the remake?

Because Rabbits are more user friendly.

Since there are now blacks in the game, why aren't their any Mexicans?

Mexicans and FFs do not mix well. At all.

So are there Germans?

No, only Blue Planetians of different skin and hair colour.

Why are there more people with blue or purple hair than people with brown hair?

Because the color quota of the world was used up to make the mountains not pink.

Why does everyone act like badmouthing Rosa and ignoring her strong points is awesome and acceptable, but the second someone breathes a word of criticism about Rydia, they're chastised for it?


(No seriously. If you want to skip this and take it to another thread then okay, but I'm tired of seeing "Cecil could have done better than Rosa" or "Rosa's a wimpy, clingy, stupid, whiny, *et cetera et cetera* DiD and stereotypical white mage" and my every attempt to debunk it and highlight her strong points being cast down as inconsequential, all while everyone else does the same with Rydia and is perfectly FINE with it. It's bad enough that the fans' dislike of her reaches to the point where Square-Enix is doing what they can to get her out of the picture in The After and hyping up Rydia everywhere they can, is it REALLY necessary to kick the girl when she's dead?)