EVIL GENIE

Granted, but as soon as you reach it you realise there is nothing else to achieve. Now you're miserable in ecstacy. :(

I wish I could speak to animals! :jess:

Done. They all hate you and say really mean things to you. Except for seals, but they make you uncomfortable because they're borderline perverts.

I wish my room was tidy.

Granted. Everything in your room disappears.

I wish I knew kung-fu.

Granted. Unfortunately, on your way to a kung-fu tournament you get in a car accident and lose both your legs, one harm, sight in your left eye and the use of your penis. Tragic but necessary.

I wish everyone shared my allergy to grapefruits.

Granted. Everyone in the world begins talking about (sharing) your allergy to grapefruits. And the entire world finds it humourous.

I wish I had the use of my penis back after the unfortunate turn of events from my previous wish.

Granted, but then it grows a mind of its own and decides it's better off without you and pursues a career as a talk show host. You should have just got the surgery.

I wish I didn't shave this morning.

Granted, by getting a head start on the day you cause a chain of events that lead to you being raped by a horse right before being ran over by a train that was hijacked by a resurrected Hitler brain in bear.

I wish I could memorize Pi.

Granted. You memorize Pi and subsequently forget everything else. Like how to breath.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted. However You also are now mute, so you can never use those wishes. Also a porcupine ate all your food :(

I wish for a sammich :p

Granted, but instead of you getting a sammich a sammich got you, and you got eaten.

I wish I had a soda.

Granted. You have a Diet Pepsi.

I wish NorthernChaosGod was no longer mute and nothing bad ever happened to him again. Or me, for that matter.

Bunny wins the 'Truly Evil Genie' award.

NCG is no longer mute and bad stuff never happens to you guys. You're in a loving relationship together now and are looking at china patterns for your wedding.

I wish I had a good wish to wish for.

You wish you were a jedi, and subsequently become a jedi, and then die after an admin (possibly, but not necessarily, BoB) issues order 66 (you also never got a chance to do anything cool with your new found powers).

I wish a I was playing Red Dead Redemption right now :(

Granted, you are playing it as an actual character in the game, unfortunately there are no extra lives, and you push your luck trying to reach an easter egg that is on the other side of a valley, and you don't have the ability to fly. You would survive the 12 story fall if some newb didnt get a lucky sniper shot. But he did.

I wish for all aquaman comics to be thrown into the sun.
[btw, if you cant corrupt this one, go home]

Granted, they get thrown at the newspaper The Sun and nothing much happens. Just a bit of mess.

I wish Cactuar would forgive me for ruining his mad libs :(