FF5 Revisited!

Chapter IX: A Cure for Cancer?

It wasn't northwest.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/00northeast.jpg

This seems...too easy.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/01earthquake.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/02getout.jpg

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/03bastard.jpg
Dammit.

What to do now? Wise Sensei Ninja Wolf will know what to do!

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/0sensei.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...sofnothing.jpg
Apropos of nothing

We'd better check on Cara, just in case.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/05goodenough.jpg
She'll be fine.

Meanwhile, at the fleet:

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/07weeks.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/08mrz.jpg
I should have known with a name like Mr. Z.

We arrive, and introductions are in order.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...roductions.jpg

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...thebaddies.jpg
Are...are we the baddies?

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/11towers.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/12help.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/13brilliant.jpg

Well, Mr. Z isn't going anywhere, time for a nap.
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/14resting.jpg

But at 6 AM sharp:

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/15sixam.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/16wakeywakey.jpg

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...ningpeople.jpg
I hate morning people

Not even the birds are up, and we have to fight Digger Nick again! Galuf loses his balance, and...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/18saveya.jpg
Mr. Z to the rescue!

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/19nvm.jpg
Nevermind

Afterwards...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/20box.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/21sweet.jpg
Sweet! A U-boat!

This is perfect! We can break into the barrier towers from underwater and shut them down!

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/22tower.jpg

Sounds simple enough. Until...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/23locked.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/24callzeza.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/25emergency.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/26door.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/27handle.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/28ofcourse.jpg
Of course...

Later...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/29antenna.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/30again.jpg
Oh, not again

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/31offswitch.jpg
Mr. Z must hate us.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/32ominous.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/33itcantbe.jpg
What? It can't be...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/34hfs.jpg
Holy smurfing tit he's real

Ten seconds later...
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...timateevil.jpg

But all is not well at the base of the tower, where Mr. Z is in trouble:

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/36die.jpg

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/9/37boom.jpg
Apparently, Mr. Z, you can.

We escape by Hiryuu, and return to the U-Boat to await Mr. Z's return

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...tcomingout.jpg

Tomorrow: Chapter X: A World Without Mr. Z

Mr Z was only with us for a short time, but Unne seemed to piss him off just enough to make sure his next life will suck too.

WHY? WHY? WHY IS GILGAMESH CALLED DIGGER NICK?

Clearly he likes to dig holes and his real name is Nick.

Mr. Z, you were a brave man. I look forward to your next incarnation as a member of the F-Team.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gamblet

WHY? WHY? WHY IS GILGAMESH CALLED DIGGER NICK?

---

It's a very racist joke that Tzep should have known better than to include.

Actually, he did know better, and included it anyways.

No Mr. Z in the world of tomorrow. It will be a sadder world for his loss, but obviously he had to go if Yog-Sothoth had to go. How else are you going to maintain a balance?

Poor Krile, getting the short end of a nicotine quilt.

Since we are talking about it: it is as horrible as the rest of the jokes. As soon as we were told Faris was Jewish, you should have known it was going to be bad.

Faris being Jewish isn't out-and-out racist.

That comes later, at Surgate if I recall correctly.

Finally caught up. Digger Nick had me in stitches. Our Bleys is an awesome Bleys.

Lots of screenshots today, but all in all a short update. Tomorrow's update should bring us to the end of this story arc, though.

Chapter X: A World Without Mr. Z

Tzepish's castle is open to us, but it's not time to go there yet. Galuf is pretty torn up about Mr. Z's death, so we'll go to his hometown and pay our last respects

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/00surgate.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/01who.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/02warrants.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/03oh.jpg
Pretty blasé about that

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/04mrz.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/05king.jpg

Somehow I lost the screenshot where Unne tells the Chancellor that Mr. Z was killed in the barrier tower explosion, and I'm not starting a new game just to recover it.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/07you.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/08executed.jpg
But he's too lazy to execute us yet, so he just asks us to hang around until he gets around to it. We don't.

There's not really anything else of interest in Surgate, so I guess we should probably try to save Cara. Now that we have a submarine, we can access the island the cure for cancer was on!

We delve deep into the cave and find...nothing but a freaking turtle. Unne immediately starts beating the crap out of it.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...bleyourbum.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...ahalfshell.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/11doctor.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...tudywhores.jpg
Protip: Don't study whores

It's Dr. Archie Carr, Terra's foremost expert on everything. Especially turtles.

Back to business...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/13cancer.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/14here.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/15look.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/16nope.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/17nothere.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/18trust.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/19sorry.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/20survive.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/21guaranteed.jpg

Archie advises us to take a moment and carefully ponder whether or not we should go through with it. We take this seriously as it deserves.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/22invincible.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/23yeah.jpg
http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/24ok.jpg
There. Thought it over.

Since we're sure, Archie gives us the key we'll need to enter the Great Forest of BFE (Butt-F*** Egypt, well beyond the pyramids. No, I don't get it either).

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/25stick.jpg
w00t?

But before we go...

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/26shell.jpg

There are two more dots on our underwater map. One leads us to a cave that goes absolutely nowhere except for a forest with a chocobo that we have to leave alone, and the other leads to BFE, where everyone seems to be obsessed with fire. Terra's version of Karnak, I guess. I hope it's not prophetic.

BFE is a fun place.

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/27ultimate.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/28smokey.jpg
After Yog-Sothoth, I hope we don't have to fight Smokey

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...dentalfire.jpghttp://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp...eonpurpose.jpg
This was either an accidental fire, or one done on purpose

http://www.bastardly.org/bleys/ff5sp/X/31notsobad.jpg
And we're going into that

Tomorrow: It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Ha! Amusing episode.

Smokey the Bear is Satan????

I am not going to deign that fire comment with a response.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

I am not going to deign that fire comment with a response.

---

You just did.

BLAZE UR TEH FUNNIAST MANG ALOVE

Just read the entire thread. Mother of God. This is an incredible ride.

Also that fire line was too perfect.