theres a boy called timmy who brings raisins in everyday for his teacher
one day he comes and the teahcer says "wheres my raisins today timmy?"
Tim replies "oh sorry my rabbit died last night"
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theres a boy called timmy who brings raisins in everyday for his teacher
one day he comes and the teahcer says "wheres my raisins today timmy?"
Tim replies "oh sorry my rabbit died last night"
Some college students are training to become surgeons.THe teacher said that a surgeon must have no fear, and a sharp eye..He stuck out hiss finger and put it in the put of a dead body, then licked his finger.All the other students had to do this, and they did.At the end of class, he asked"Did anyone noticed how I only put my index finger in the butt, but licked my middle finger.
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius Strip?
To get to the same side.
You win.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
FOA"S JOKES ARE THE BEST EVER.
ok two blondes get out of their convertable and blonde one says"aww man i locked the keys in the car"then the second blonde says"we better hurry cuse its gonn rain and we left the top of the convertable open"
Little Johnny's grade school teacher thinks up an idea one Friday afternoon. So she tells the class. "Alright, class," she says. "We're going to start something new today. Every Friday, I'm going to ask a question. If you are the first one to get it right, you get Monday off, and don't have to come to school. Everybody understand?"
So the kids yell and such and they're all excited, but the teacher finally settles them down.
"Today's question is... What is the capital city of Lichtenstien? (sp?)"
Of course, not one of the kids knows the answer.
"Alright, since nobody answered it, we all have to come to school Monday. Have a good weekend."
So the kids grumble and such and go home, only to come back the next week, and find another impossible question. Of course, nobody can figure out the answers, so nobody gets to stay home on Monday--obviously, as the teacher knew would happen. This goes on for months...but one day little Johnny gets an idea. One Friday, he grabs a handful of marbles, colors them black, and brings them to school. He puts two in each of the teacher's desk drawers, two in her coffee cup, two on her chair, two on the chalkboard, two between a couple stacks of papers on the desk...everywhere he can find, he puts a pair of these black marbles. Of course, the teacher finds all of them, and each pair annoys her more and more. Finally, that afternoon, little Johnny rolls another two of the marbles up to the front of the room, just as the teacher is preparing to ask her students the impossible question.
The teacher gets mad. She stops, bends down, and picks up the marbles, and shakes her hand at the class. "Alright, who's the funny guy with the two black balls?"
Little Johnny pipes up from the back of the room, as he gathers his things.
"Bill Cosby. See you Tuesday."
lmao
3 guys are captured by the cannibal king.Te cannibal said that hell let go whoever can shove 10 fruits up his butt.The first guy shoved 3 apples up his but and winced at the last, the second guy started laughing at the ninth cherry.In heaven, the first guy asked the second guy wh he laufghed, you were almost ther.The second guy said he saw the last guy coming with a bunch of pineapples.
You know your a redneck if you work bare-chested and so does your husband.
2 guys are captured by the cannibal king.The cannibal king says that he'll let them choose how they die.One guy stabbed himself.Another guy slit his throat.The last guy asked what they were gonna do with his body.The cannbal king said they were gonna use the bodies to make a canoe.The guy thought about it, and started stabbing himself with a fork.
One time these two men were sitting in a bar high up in a huge skyscraper, and the first man says to the second, "I'm going to jump out the window."
So before the other guy can do anything, the first guy finishes his pint and jumps straight out the window.
The second guy is stunned at what happened, but was even more shocked when the first guy returns back up to the pub, alive and unscratched.
"How did you do that?" he asks amazed. "You jumped out of a skyscraper and lived!"
"It's the beer," the first guy replies. "It slows me down before I hit the ground. Look, I'll do it again."
And he finishes his pint and jumps out the window again. Ten minutes later he returns to the pub and he's still uninjured.
The second guy has to try it too, so he drinks a pint of beer and jumps out the window. But he goes SPLAT right into the ground below.
And, away high up in the skyscraper, the bartender looks at the first guy and says:
"Superman, you're a real :skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull: when you're drunk."
ok there was a ventruiliquist putting on the show the pupper started
"heard about the blonde who..." a blonde woman stepped up and yelled "i'm so sick of these jokes not all blondes are dumb i'm in university!"
the man said "sorry" the blonde replies "it's ok i'm talking to that little Sh*t on your knee!"
you might be a redneck if you are at a party and they say do the howdown and you throw your wife on the floor
ahahah
wtf? i don't get these red neck jokes