Originally Posted by Harle-Quin
Best Poster. It’s an award that has very little meaning. What makes a poster a good poster? Maybe they’re funny? Nah, that can’t be it. There’s a different award for that. Maybe they don’t fancy dance around the facts, and give it to us straight? Maybe indeed. Perhaps it’s their ability to make the forums a better place with every word they say? Possibly, but that wouldn’t explain what the hell Bunny’s doing up there. Whatever the answer is, these people clearly have it.
Take Araciel for example. He’s a man. A 25 year old man. I’ve heard that he makes mo’ money than you, so maybe that’s what makes his posts so fantastic? I think we should take a look at one of his posts to see what makes him worthy of this vague award.
No, everyone knows my word is law.
I think that sums it up really. Vote for him, or suffer prosecution.
Big D is also male. By Jingo, is he ever! Big D’s freestyle posts flow like fine champagne, I hear. As we all know, fine champagne has much better lubrication than that cheap Tescos stuff, so his freestyles must flow pretty darn well. Let’s take a peek at his freestyle skills, shall we?
I was going to make one of these threads, but now I don't have to. Yay!
As you can see, the fact that someone else made a thread before Big D, yet he responded to it in such a smooth way shows that he does indeed have impressive freestyle capabilities.
Bunny doesn’t like bunnies. Anyone who understands irony will find this humourous. And if you don’t, then name Bunny is still funny. Bunny’s occupation is “Badass”. In my opinion, his posts clearly reflect his flatulence problem. For example:
DELIGHTful
DELIGHTful
DELIGHTful
Tastes like poop.
This proves that Bunny could well be badass, and that even if he isn’t, he’s still odd for enjoying the taste of excretion. Is poop love what makes a poster good? I don’t know. We’ll have to wait for the results.
Del Murder is one hot mama. And for Pete’s sake, he is not called Steve! Personally, I’m confused as to how you could mistake Mr T. Money for anyone named Steve. Do his posts look Steve-like to you?
Yeah we are aware of it but it hasn't been fixed yet. I'll send a pm to Warren.
NO! People named Steve would never admit contact with anyone called Warren! And Steve would most certainly not be as helpful as that. If Steve-ness wins a Best Poster Ciddie, then Del Murder is screwed. I’m hoping it doesn’t, because Del Murder is awesome.
Currently residing inside another member, I’m not sure Denmark can hear me. But I’ll say this anyway. If racism is your kind of thing, then I suggest you don’t vote for Denmark unless you are also from that area. “That area” being South-East Asia, I believe. I’m not sure. Let’s check one of his posts to analyse its Asian-ness.
Speech has been submitted. Woo.
“Woo”. Could he be referring to John Woo, the ASIAN director of films like Hard Boiled, Hard Target, and Mission Impossible 2? I think yes.
I’m my own MILF likes Lazy Town. Unfortunately, in the EoFF parts of the internet, this is classed as a bad thing. But the fact is: only paedophiles dislike Lazy Town. I know, I know – oxymoron-licious, right? But it’s true. Why wouldn’t a paedophile watch Lazy Town, I hear you mutter? Well, be logical hear. If you were secretly a paedophile, then you’d want to do everything un-paedo-ey to reduce suspicion, right? Right. Therefore, I’m my own MILF is clearly not a paedophile, which could well mean he deserves the Best Poster Ciddie. If you’re still worried about his age preferences, feel comforted by this quote:
barely legal/f/cali
“Barely legal” is what he says. Barely legal. He obviously only likes legal girls, therefore making him not a paedophile. I believe that un-paedophilia is a necessity to being a good poster, but is it enough to be the Best?
Jess is a Geordie. In my eyes, that means win. But some of you may not agree. If that’s the case, maybe you prefer her sense of humour or her newly found spamming capabilities? She also quite good at being adorable. Like a fuzzy little Hell Kitty doll in a warm cup of love. If you like Hello Kitty and/or love, then do you think she deserves to win Best Poster? If you’re unsure of whether Jess is even all cute and squee, then read this.
Eeeeeeee.
Now isn’t that adorable? Yes it is, oh yes it is! Whosawigguhwigguhwigguh! Whosawigguhwigguhwigguh! Yeah, you are, aren’t oo!
Kawaii Ryûkishi is bloody hard to spell. For the sake of my sanity, I’ll call him Kiwi. If you’re having trouble finding any of Kiwi’s posts, then just look for any post with “Holy crap! Kishi’s not dead!” or “Wow! It’s Kishi!” and he’s sure to be nearby. In my eyes, merely having that response to your posts must mean you have good posts, right? Let’s take a gander.
They're called Horseclaws.
Short and to the point. Just how I like my men. And most of his posts are like this, by the way. They’re tiny! Tiny weeny posts with massive responses? Kiwi clearly has the sauce.
Levian is a Viking. And, much like a Viking, he fears marriage. Why does he fear marriage? I think it’s because of his faithfulness to EoFF. That faithfulness is no doubt the reason for his really spiffing posts. Like this one.
I bet you regret not making a thread about ABBA now, huh?!
Though completely unrelated to EoFF, his love of ABBA should surely be punished. A fitting punishment, in my eyes, is for him to win Best Poster. Whether he does it or not, let’s force him to sing ABBA songs for us anyway.
Nominus Experse has a surprising gender. Is he a man or a woman? Who knows! Is multi-gender-ness what causes his posts to be both useful and long at the same time? Most probably, yes. Whatever the reason, Nominus Experse always has something beneficial to say. Take this example.
I might stick a small fully decorated fur tree up my ass and then stand upside down in the snow for a bit.
That’s something that, though not really necessary, is still graphically informative. What a guy!
Psychotic likes animals too much. At current, bestiality is illegal in England. The fact that Psychotic ignores this law and does it anyway reflects highly on him, in my opinion. Anyone who knows the risk, but still commits that much time and effort into something they love is someone that I would like to be friends with. The fact that it’s bestiality merely strengthens that wish. You can tell that Psychotic imagines animals when he writes his posts, as they are so filled with love.
WHY WON'T ANYBODY BE MY INTERNET GIRLFRIEND????????
Feel the love, chaps! Feel the love!
Pureghetto is pure ghetto. That’s gangsta slang for cool. His name does indeed reflect his personality then. That’s good. I like honesty. It tastes good. My geography isn’t great, but I’m fairly sure Pureghetto is from Denmark. Danes are cool. They’ve got nice buns. Anyone who has seen PGPORN! knows this is true. Comme ca:
Either I'll get the day off or I'm going to make a lot of money. In either case I will be sleeping.
Anyone else got an erection? I know I have.
Rye is cute. Jess is cute. Rye is called Jessica. I smell conspiracy. As shown before, Jess is like a cup of steaming hot Hello Kitty. Cute. Rye has the other kind of cute. Rye, much like I’m my own MILF, is not afraid of being called a paedophile. She loves Lazy Town very much. Lazy Town is Cute on crack: kinda weird, but cute nonetheless. How cute is this?
It's making my tummy basket all happy.
Awwwwwww…hang on what? Tummy basket? Weird! Let’s hug her anyway! Awwwwwww…….Rye’s cuteness makes all her posts yum yum yum, and they should be put into a Book of Cute and published to bring joy to all. It’s the must-have this Christmas!
ShlupQuack is filthy. And so is her name. Is it just me, or does it sound like removing your penis from a bowl of thick custard? Like many other EoFFers, I’m childish and immature, and the idea of willies and the like makes me laugh. That’s why I enjoy ShlupQuack’s posts. They are funny in themselves, and the fact that it says ShlupQuack so very close to them makes them funnier.
Once upon a time a bunch of nerds had no lives. The End
Ahahahaaa! Ooohohoohooo! I see what you did there! Hahahahahaaaa! Why didn’t you guys vote her Funniest Member? Oh you did.
theundeadhero keeps breaking Microsoft Word. No, damnit, it’s got a lower case t! Stupid bloody computer. Though a word processors nightmare, theundeadhero is actually a really neat fellow. He’s, like, dead…but, like, still alive and stuff. It’s awesome. Unfortunately he’s got a mouldy penis, but that’s actually what I look for in a man. Some women are disappointed though, so he must rely mainly on his words of charm to seduce them. Words like these.
They called me a geek because a moderate an FF forum.
Look at that genius! Going for the pity vote! He has certainly mastered Sex Tactics. His posts are sweet nothings to all the ladies in the forum. Oh yes they are.
Vincent, Thunder God is revolting. Like that guy on the T-shirts, VTG is hosting a revolution. What do revolutionary leaders need, though? INSPIRATION. Vincent, Thunder God inspires everyone with his words of inspirational inspirocity. His posts have forced several world leaders, like God, to become gay. That’s right folks, VTG turned God gay. Do you need advice on how to inspire billions? Well, lend me your eyes, and get a load of this.
I'd rather not say, since that would be basing my opinion on the stereotyping of gay, lesbian or bi people and wouldn't be fair.
I suddenly feel like treating people fairly. I’m not sure why….oh heavens! It’s because of Vincent, Thunder God! I hadn’t even noticed! He’s subtle and persuasive! Incredible!
To conclude, whatever it is that makes a post good, these people have it. The odd thing is, these people have almost nothing in common. Therefore, the winner has what it takes to be Best Poster, but the others were nominated incorrectly, which makes everyone stupid. No matter who wins the Ciddie for Best Poster, everyone loses in some way. And that, friends, is what the Ciddies are all about.
