Originally Posted by Shlup
Basically, a marriage starts, from my perspective, when two people seriously say "it's us, together, for the rest of our lives, starting... now." At that point the other person is your husband or wife, no matter who else was there to witness the moment, whether or not you signed anything, whether or not you have rings. Though I think it really strengthens that commitment to go through some type of ceremony, and to declare it in front of friends and family and stuff. I think it's reasonable that people find it easier to take such a commitment seriously when the couple has put effort into making a big deal out of their declaration, though that doesn't excuse buttholes who refuse to accept any less than all the hoopla.