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August 18, 2001
Two more days of work. Then I move back to college. I'm not looking forward to going back as much as I thought I was, but that's to be expected. "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." I'm almost onto the other side of the fence again, I guess. It still seems greener, for the moment, but not quite as green as before. But I knew this was coming, so it's OK. :)
Other than that, I feel pretty crappy in general. But whatyagonnado.
August 18, 2001 Saturday
Today Was not a great day. I got up this morning to have a surprise blood test. No it's not because my parents suspect drugs(becaus I don't take em), it's more to check my health. Anyway I don't enjoy needles but it happens. So I went home and then my father wanted to go some where but I didn't feel up to it so he went off in a bad mood. So i sat at home and got online. I tried talking to people here at EoFF and other places and I got the same feeling Alixsar had, being ignored. So I just kept to myself and then got offline. I ate a few left-overs for luch and went out side to have some quiet time. I ended up falling asleep outside, which isn'r normal for me since I almost never take naps. But When I woke up my mother was home and she wanted to go to this fair a town away I didn't feel up to it but I went anyway. I didn't really enjoy it, but I tried to hide it so my mother could enjoy herself. When we got hom my father pulled in after use and he still had his bad mood so I kept my distance. And then I got online and here I am.
Well, it's a normal day, I can't wait until I get to go back to school I almost forget how depressing life is there, until I remember how bad it is there too. Aw well, such is life.
08-18-01
11:27 PM
Just got back from a church dance. It was held at the Dale City building, which was an interesting change. The floor is carpeted, but that didn't get in the way as much as I think some people expected it to. Before the dance we were at a friend's house celebrating his birthday (two weeks belated ^_^); we went to the dance from there. It was a lot of fun, but toward the end I just sat on the sidelines. When there's no one for you to dance with (I'd already danced with all my guy friends), what else do you do? For the last dance, one of my friends (the guy whose birthday it was) asked me to dance, so I did. I don't blame them or anything; it's hard to include everyone all the time. I don't want them to feel like my feelings are hurt, because they're not. I just don't like standing around doing nothing. oO Overall, the whole evening was rather enjoyable. I can't complain too much.
A word of advice: you know those candy bubbles? You blow 'em, and when you catch them in your mouth they taste good? DON'T drink the concentrate. xD I did this, and at this very moment I'm still drinking water to try to soothe my throat.
I declare today to be the day of luckynickygoodstuffandthingsness! hm...firstly, i lost my umbrella last week, and today it was pouring and i was just about to leave and be soaked when i found my brother's old umbrella on the floor...yay! then, not only did my sad friend cheer up, but things turned out EXACTLY how i'd imagined them, which was really strange but...yay! then the librarian told me she had....my lost umbrella....yay! and my friend bought me a ticket to the opera...yay! and then my other friend gave me a muffin for no apparent reason...yay! ooooh....and we had AFRICAN DRUMMERS! and they performed during our history class...yay! and my friend just gave me another muffin...and i got to paint things during my study period...yay! hurray! hoorah! that is all.
Hmm.... it's been an... um... interesting day. Yeah, that'll do. Boring and interesting at the same time, somehow.
I've been PMing a few people again, that's nice. Quite often due to what's said in this thread, to be honest. I know that it's awesome when someone replies to one of my posts here... so I thought, hey, why not see if someone else would like it too? It's wonderful to know you matter to people.
My friend, as Nicky pointed out, is happy again, which rules. Though, I hope it turns out ok, coz I can *so* see this blowing up in one month or so... but then again, for all I know, it could last forever. That'd be dandy, coz the two people rule.
I'm friends with Em again, but now we've agreed to stop texting each other too much, coz for some reason it makes us argue! Much better when we're stupid and stuff. Dandy.
THE BIG THING: I'm going to Scotland next year! I told my Dad and stepmum, and they're fine with it, which is really weird. But I'm gonna go! I've told a few people, but the one who was most weirded out was Emma... she didn't think I was actually gonna. >_< But hey, she's kew with it, and I'm so happy I'm actually gonna meet her and stuff. And Wyllius can be my wonderful friend that goes shopping and scaring and *crosses fingers* lending me his internet access so I can post here! Woo!
Um, yeah. That is all. Oh, I'm still trying to convince one of those girls who send you random messages telling you to look at them nude to actually chat to me, that'd be interesting. No luck *sigh*... but here's my current conversation:
EDIT: more of the same of the chat. ie, no progress whatsoever... well, no one else sends me messages, so meh! :pQuote:
asweethotlip_4: I'm looking for a friend! See me at http://...
del_chixsar: I can be a friend, if you let me... though, I'm guessing you're more in the mood to entertain. Can you entertain me without being nude?
asweethotlip_4: See me del_chixsar at http://...
del_chixsar: I'm really not in the mood, and this cpu doesn't actually allow that stuff, it's a school one with crap all for video etc. So... how's ya, anyhow?
asweethotlip_4: See me del_chixsar at http://...
del_chixsar: Man... you seem like a kew person to chat to. Such a wonderful conversationist ;)
asweethotlip_4: See me del_chixsar at http://...
del_chixsar: I have a friend named Abbie. She lives in Masterton. Whereabouts are you located?
asweethotlip_4: See me del_chixsar at http://...
del_chixsar: Hmm... this isn't getting very far. Let me think... what's your email?
del_chixsar: *wonders how many asweethotlips there are out there, given you're number 4*
Note: I removed the address coz I don't think we should have porn links here, that'd be icky.
*deletes last post*
8/20/01
Sorry about that last post, I'd just gotten home from a long day of earning $6.10 an hour for manual labor... ugh... I hate my job. Oh well, other than that everything is fine. Yesterday was Sunday and Sundays always cheer me up. I went to church and my teacher taught a very good lesson. I finished inking my pic for the Britt contest at about 4 AM this morning and I think it looks.. not too shabby, so now I'm happy. Today I have work (ugh) so I'm gonna try to finish my pic soon.
8/20/01
Woo hoo! Got my schedule changed, and everything is OK!! Man, I hated my other teacher. And my class.
NMH, this is the first time I could get on in a while, I've been doing other busy school work, especially the reading. We already have a book assigned to us.
Hmmm, everyone seems to back at school already... *goes back September 7th* :D
Well, anyway. My toe is sore. I went to the doctors today to have my verrucas cryo-treated with liquid nitrogen. Strangely enough, it's more of a burning treatment than a freezing treatment, even though liquid nitrogen is very, very cold. Ah well. It looks exactly the same to me. But, whatever.
Got new CD today. I think my musical taste is broadening, if not changing, because I got a Cradle of Filth album, even though a month ago I swore never to like their style of music. It grew on me though, so I decided to buy the album with a couple of songs I like on it, Midian. It seems pretty good. And I'm hopefully getting Adrenaline by the Deftones tomorrow. I don't have any other Deftones albums.
I've also taken a liking to the somewhat stupidly-named Doom-metal. Thanks to Steiner-Dave Hybrid for recommending Rhapsody, I've listened to them and other bands like them, such as Nightwish, Theatre of Tradegy and Tristiana (or is it Tristania? I forget.), and I quite like them, so I've just downloaded anything by anyone in the Doom-metal section on Audiogalaxy.
Owwee.... my toe.... *overacts*
today was the day of ...stuff. daniel kept debating about trees (he was WRONG!) so then when he couldn't think of any rebuttal he kept whacking me over the head with a couch cushion so i tied his shoelaces together and then the cat ran away and he hit me (really hard!) so i tipped the couch over and mangled his brains. accidentally. then i was singing songs from 'whose line' but no one was listening so we played 'mercy' and towns won by a lot and then he went insane and said the clowns were going to eat me. i don't want clowns to eat me. can't sleep. clowns will eat me...daniel is mean :D
Today
*insert time here*
I don't know why I said I was coming back to the forums. I havent posted in days. heh. Oh well. Anyways, I woke up, played video games, and chatted. That was it. I'm really tired so this is short....and stuff. Ok. Nite. *collapses*
-Alex
August 21st 10:30 AM
Well, summer is almost over and I look back and it wasn't one of the greatest I've ever had:( Sure, I did a couple of cool things...went to my cottage for a week, and my birthday party...but nothing that I'll remember for the rest of my life. I was telling myself, before summer started, that it would be the S.O.R. (Summer of Rob), but I don't see that happening anymore. I also wanted to get my first girlfriend before the end of summer, but I see all my chances going down the drain.
Yes this summer was a drag but next summer will be better:)...I hope.
~White Raven
August 21, 2001.
*Located a journal place at www.diaryland.com. Decided it was better to blurb my bad emotions and saddness there where complete strangers rather than close friends could read them. Probably because strangers get less personal about issues, it's nice to have people listen... I just don't like the idea of others getting involved with my problems when they have their own. I'm aware that no strangers will comment. That's what I'm looking for.*
I'm quite content right now. ^_^ I'm not tired, I'm not depressed.... on the contrary I'm very happy. I'm very thankful I have so many friends, I'm thankful I have someone who loves me and I can love back, I'm thankful I'm where I am.
I do however need to admit I'm upset that everyone else is upset. What makes it even more upsetting is there's nothing I can really do about it. It hurts so much more to have to stand idly while my friends are being hit down, and here I am smiling. It makes me wish that I could suffer all the pain you all endure. It makes me wish I could take it away from you and keep it to myself.
I'd like to add that no one here is alone. Whether you like it or not.
Well... on the 19th I did something stupid, which isn't a big shock. I'm a small dumb person. Well long story short I smacked my chin off some glass and gauged my chin. The cut wasn't deep... it's just that well there's not much other than skin between the bone and the skin of your chin. Well, It was deep enough and wide enough so that when I moved it up and streched it open you could see the bone. ^.^ Mmmmm..... yumm.
I'm such a klutz. I'm also hungry... Since my chin has been wounded I can't chew or suck which decreases my choice of menu to .... liquids. -_- *weeps* "I so hungy."
Owies, Umi. >< Sounds like it's gonna leave a sizeable scar. Hope your wound heals quickly...you ought to show us pictures. xD
Captain's Log Sta... bollocks to that.
I've been with a recruitment agency over the summer holidays and they try and find me temporary work. I'd been exceptionally pleased with their complete lack of job opportunities (I'd only signed up to please my mum and dad) up till now. However, today everything changed. I got a job in a flat pack furniture factory and it was the hardest days work of my life. Lifting 2' x 4's, flipping them and then putting them in a flatpack box. One every 8 seconds or so (it had a little counter of how many had been done by the end of the day and it was in the many thousands). Needless to say, I'm in much pain, especially my back which wasn't happy with all the bending and lifting. 8.5 hours is just too much for that kind of work and for only four pounds an hour (less than $6 I think)? I don't think so.
Anyway I'm going to do one more day then quit. I'm not cut out for physical labour of this kind (i'm too puny, help!). My body has just never felt so tired.
*lifts finger, says 'ow', groans, types, dies*
5 days until hell breaks loose!!!
1 AM
No! School!!!! AHH!!! *hides*
Anyways, today was kinda neat. I woke up at noon and went on the ORPG I play. My character supposed to meet a blind date but she stood him up. Well, actually her power went out so she couldnt use the computer. Heh. So we just postponed it till later. Then I got off the 'puter and watched TV for a long time. Then mom came home and started complaining about stuff. What else is new? Anyways, I went upstairs and tried to watch the Mobile Suit Gundam tapes my friend sent me but my mom kept bugging me and I couldn't watch 'em. I ate dinner and then went on my ORPG and my character had his date. My character is cool. XD Anyways, then I went into chat and talked. Then I made an anti-Bruckner thread because it's not funny.
-_-;; And now I'm here and very tired. So...nite!
- Alex