This feels like an entry to LJ but not really since I don't write them this long.
Smoking really helps to calm my nerves, and that usually helps to prevent me freaking out. That's why I would smoke a lot whenever I went out for a night on the town or whatever. It eventually manifested into an addiction; I was soon smoking just about all the time, and if I was smoking then I was thinking about it. I never really thought of this as a bad thing—smoking made me feel great. I did water it down (claim I wasn't as into it as I really was) a lot, because I knew some people see it as a bad thing. I'm kind of insecure like that.
However, I started suffering from a lot of ill health (amongst other things), and I was strongly recommended to start the process of quitting. I have been smoke-free (as completely as I can) for a little over a month now. I'm afraid of the medication and other devices invented to aid in the quitting process, and I had to quit "cold turkey". It was very hard and it took me longer than necessary. But I didn't really do it alone; there were people kind enough to lend even the slightest of a motivation word, and that helped push me closer to my goal.
I feel as if I am no longer addicted. I haven't felt the need to smoke for some time now. I don't think I'll start to smoke heavily again while I'm still this young. Perhaps when I'm nearing 60—if smoking's legal and I'm alive—I'll get back into the swing of things. Just to, you know, get the ball rolling.
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