It is time for a Birthday Crusade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narrator
Though the Bible may preach peace, when it is Christendom itself which is threatened, it is every Christian's duty to defend all that is holy.
I, Pope Justicarian I, hereby issue a Decree calling for a Crusade of all Christians against the Heretical and Paganistic Wesley D. Moore, aka Wesley QQ More, aka Weasley, aka Wesley Meadows, aka USL, aka Woosleh, etc. for his many Blasphemies, with the intent of restoring the One True Faith to its rightful place in his heart.
Long ago, the Lord's Intent was revealed to me, Pope Justicarian I, in a Vision. He told me that if Wesley were to reach his twentieth birthday with the Knowledge of, and Faith in, the Christ, the Second Coming would be Hastened and the Anti-Christ's coming Abrogated. Conversely, if his heart was not filled with Devotion and Love for Him, the world would continue to endure without the Christ's return and would surely Suffer even more egregious and excessive sins under the rule of the Anti-Christ.
As a Pope committed to Peace and Tolerance, it pained me, Pope Justicarian I, to Wait as time passed, yet I, Pope Justicarian I, was required to give Wesley the Greatest chance possible to come to Christ in his own time and manner. Yet given the gravity of the Situation I, Pope Justicarian I, have elected to sanction This measure. It is with a Heavy heart that I, Pope Justicarian I, take this step but I believe the Presence of God on Earth outweighs the possible discomfort of an Inquisition, Crusade, or other such Divine Tool Of The Propogation Of Faith ™ in a Heretic such as Wesley.
Therefore I, Pope Justicarian I, call this Crusade, perhaps better known as a New Reconquista - for our French Friend Wesley was a truly devout and Attentive Christian before falling to heresy - and as Pope I, Pope Justicarian I, declare it the Godly duty of all Christians to engage in this campaign to restore Godliness to Wesley's heart before the end of his 20th birthday.
My Papal knowledge Informs me that this day is today. And so, in the spirit of both this day of Celebration, and this day of Glory, I, Pope Justicarian I, open this Crusade not with the Cannon and Knights of prior Crusades, but with a Message of Love and Peace to Wesley;
My Son, today is a Special day for you. You have reached that Age when a Meadow fully blooms, and is Open and Ripe for the sowing of Seeds. Yet you are still young and Fragile, and the Lord seeks to bolster you Against those things which would Cause you pain. Consider these things of Satan and Heresy a Combine Harvester, but Know that through Faith in Christ the stalks of your Plants and Flowers shall turn to hardest steel and shatter the Blades of the harvester.
I, Pope Justicarian I, offer to you my Sincerest and most deeply felt well-wishes on this Day, your day of Ascent to manhood. It pains me, Pope Justicarian I, to Hear and Read such blasphemy and Heresy from you, Wesley Moore, yet our Heavenly Father forgives all who seek forgiveness. He blesses our world regularly - the Cat Macro Meme was granted unto us by His Mercy and Humor.
Let the Lord's light shine into your Heart, that it may grow two sizes with His Love and one day radiate Light to others who seek it. Make the correct Choice on this, your Day of ascent to manhood, and you will bring Light and Glory and Peace unto the world. I, Pope Justicarian I, implore you. Seach your feelings, Wesley. You know it to be true.
In the name of St. Andrew, St. Paul, St. George, St. Innocent, St. James, son of Zebedee, St. James, son of Alphaeus, St. Pope Leo, St. Pantaleon, St. Yrieix, Mary, Joseph, Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit which is Invested in us all, I, Pope Justicarian I, bid you the happiest of twentieth birthdays, and give Thanks and Praise unto the Lord for setting the Sun in orbit around our World in such a manner as to permit us to Measure years.
*Makes the sign of a cross* :jesus:
