You Know You're Physically Unfit When...

In this thread I'm going to need a list of things that are noticeable when you're physically unfit. I'm planning to submit it to the local paper. Also, don't forget to vote on the poll. I seriously need to know if you want EoFF to be credited for your submissions or not. I don't want the editors thinking that I plaguarized off of you guys when I was the one that asked for your submissions. But I'm only allowed to credit you guys for this if you want to. Otherwise I'll have to say the author is anonymous. Also, try to make them amusing but appropriate (no sexual related content, vulgarity, or usage of human excretement). Making jokes about snot and boogers are okay.

As you can see I'm not very good at this. That's why I'll need your help.

1. your nose runs faster than your feet can
2. the last time your heart beat like crazy and you sweated a lot was when you were around that hot guy/girl at work
3. at the end of the day your eyes and fingers are more exhausted than your arms and legs
4. your idea of working out is filing and organizing papers in an office that isn’t at home
5. you gain weight not from your diet, but from the mucus and pimples that have been developing on your body
6. the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “beep test” is going live on camera and seeing how often you can swear in a limited amount of time (counts because no inappropriate language is used)
7. the part of your body that weighs the most is your head
8. you’re so bad at bowling that you can’t even get the ball in the gutter

Read post #25 to see how it went.

hocrap...I had one but it went away!

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Originally Posted by Evastio

7. the part of your body that weighs the most is your head

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Actually I'm pretty sure if you're fit that's supposed to the way it it's supposed to be unless you're hung like a fire hose.

.....

Maybe I would've got more posts and submissions if I didn't mention that I'd be putting this in the paper until I got enough submissions.

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Originally Posted by Rengori

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Originally Posted by Evastio

7. the part of your body that weighs the most is your head

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Actually I'm pretty sure if you're fit that's supposed to the way it it's supposed to be unless you're hung like a fire hose.

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You do have a point there. Then again, physically fit people usually have big muscles and small brains. Unless they're one of those crazy flawless people who are all intelligent, respectful, physically fit, and good looking.

you find yourself short of breath after combing your hair
you refer to chewing as a 'necessary evil'
you take something out of your pocket then realize you're not wearing any pants.

also these are from a comedian....but so what

you may also want to listen to weird al's 'fat'

You're knackered from walking up a flight of stairs. :jess:

You're dead

You work up a sweat riding the elevator down.
You're panting heavy by the time you make it to the bus stop.
You have to take a break after opening your books.
You find yourself day dreaming of electronic flexible paper so you can stop toting your books to class.
You're thin because you can't be bothered to raise your fork to your face.

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Originally Posted by Jess

You're knackered from walking up a flight of stairs. :jess:

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You're knackered from walking down a flight of stairs.

Your knakered from staring at stairs

When you don't have my cruel mode of transport :(

-your puke is a greater variety of colors than your last meal was.
-your parent's/your name is Ronny Knowes.
-you need to take pills to relieve the pain of the other pills you took.
-every time you use a kleenex it turns white to yellow/green.
-your mucus is so thick it takes over your nose hairs' job.
-you have a temperature so high that passing by a smoke alarm sets it off.
-the only time your arms and legs get red and sore during the summer is when they get bitten by mosquitoes.
-your legs collapse when you got sacked when it actually missed.
-your grandma could beat you in fencing using two crochet needles.
-people get you to play volleyball to lose weight by using you as the volleyball

You know ur out of shape when:

you have to stop playing video games cause ur sweating too much
you can't run to the bathroom
you can't walk your own dog
you start eating birthday cake before the songs even over
you finish your plate before you sit down

Hmm that's all I have for right now.

When looking at porn is just too much of a physical exercise.

When the closest you get to touching your toes is picking up a crisp you've dropped on the floor.

You collapse and die.

Hey my nose runs faster than my feet can, but that doesn't count cus I'm sick right now. :(

"If you don't know the difference between a spoon and a ladel, you're fat." - Demetri Martin

I can't really think of anything of my own. :(

You at least know you're not taking care of yourself quite well enough if you're over-ridden with acne.

You also can know this by simply looking at how you eat, and how much energy you expend. If you spend all your time doing an action that's not exactly the most energy expending, but then eat foods high in calories, logic dictates you will be fat.

When your dinner plate is the heaviest thing you lift.

-when you're awarded "The Dickie-do Award" because your belly sticks out further than your dickie do.

when asians point run and shout.

When going outside the house is a tempting prospect, but impossible.

Having a seizure is the most physically demanding excersise you do.
Your arm gets tired when you shake your fist at someone.
Your temper is a lot stronger than your body.
Your stomach is stronger than your jaws.
The strongest thing in your body are your headaches.
You don't have the energy to sleep during the night.
You're getting all sweaty and exhausted being in a marathon you're watching and not even running.

I guess I can double post since this is a project thread of sorts.

Okay guys, thanks for the submissions. In case you're wondering I will be crediting you guys for this. If you still want to submit some more the latest I can accept them for is Thursday, November 29, 2007. You can still post some of your ideas after that date but they won't show up on the newspaper.

when you barf your food, because your too lazy to consume it
when you sleep on the toilet to cut out the middleman

Okay guys, I wanted to thank you for all of your submissions.

I got some bad news however, it didn't make it on the newspaper. I'm really sorry to all of you who helped out. I guess that's the last time I submit anything for a newspaper...

you die because breathing is just such a hassle

you go outside naked, because clothes are too heavy to carry around

What?

I'm sorry, Evastio.

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Originally Posted by Evastio

Okay guys, I wanted to thank you for all of your submissions.

I got some bad news however, it didn't make it on the newspaper. I'm really sorry to all of you who helped out. I guess that's the last time I submit anything for a newspaper...

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:eek:

Anything?!?!

aww, maybe you'll have better luck in the future?

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Originally Posted by rubah

aww, maybe you'll have better luck in the future?

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Originally Posted by Cim

What?
I'm sorry, Evastio.

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That's okay. If anything, I should be apologizing to all of you for helping me out for nothing.

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Originally Posted by The Fonz

:eek:

Anything?!?!

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I guess I'll only submit something if they're really desperate for articles so they won't reject our ideas next time.

It sucks that they didn't accept my article yet they accepted 3 articles about what to get your girlfriend/boyfriend for Christmas. It's a little redundant if you ask me.

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Originally Posted by Evastio

Okay guys, I wanted to thank you for all of your submissions.

I got some bad news however, it didn't make it on the newspaper. I'm really sorry to all of you who helped out. I guess that's the last time I submit anything for a newspaper...

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:eek:

Anything?!?!

Don't worry about it Ev, but don't impair your writing options by deciding not to ever submit anything to the newspaper. There are a lot of journalists out there who make a good living out of writing for newspapers, and they get the benefit of having a wide audience and perhaps drawing attention to an important issue.

Do not not not not NOT give up because you get turned down. Success is not, and never has been, getting it right first time. It's being able to try again when you don't make it, over and over, no matter how many times it takes, until you make it.