"I submitted 10 puns to a contest."
"Did any of them win?"
"No pun in ten did."
Don't remember where I heard that one.
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"I submitted 10 puns to a contest."
"Did any of them win?"
"No pun in ten did."
Don't remember where I heard that one.
The successful farmer was often noted as being outstanding in his field.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor
Why did the musician have hydroxide?
He wanted to play bass
Why did the pianist get a fish?
He needed a tuna
Why wasnt the guy without arms allowed in the bar?
He couldnt hold his liquor
Why dont asymtopes ever get pulled over?
Then never go over the limit
A number goes into a bar and says im always greater than zero
the bartender goes "are you sure"
and the number says "absolutely"
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denmark
These are good, y'all.Quote:
Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
Probably when I cited that as an example the last time this thread popped up on the internet. Or a chain email. One or the other.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
Chain mail is good but only when it includes real chains.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouch!Probably when I cited that as an example the last time this thread popped up on the internet. Or a chain email. One or the other.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
Also puns are the very fibre and life of every newspaper, so why not use them more?
My grandfather's ashes are quivering in the ocean as you write such things.Quote:
Originally Posted by The DevilChain mail is good but only when it includes real chains.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouch!Probably when I cited that as an example the last time this thread popped up on the internet. Or a chain email. One or the other.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
Also puns are the very fibre and life of every newspaper, so why not use them more?
Ask of me tomorrow, and you will find me a grave man!
*dies*
Heheh, how cute.Quote:
Originally Posted by Calliope
If he harbors such hate of puns as that, he was a sad man then!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouch!My grandfather's ashes are quivering in the ocean as you write such things.Quote:
Originally Posted by The DevilChain mail is good but only when it includes real chains.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouch!Probably when I cited that as an example the last time this thread popped up on the internet. Or a chain email. One or the other.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
Also puns are the very fibre and life of every newspaper, so why not use them more?
I did an English Competition at school once. The only questions i did were the puns. I didn't finish anything else because i spent the whole time laughing. That was a good day.
I'll bet it was! I love puns too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Yes, I can actually have a sense of humor. But - if you come to know me in my home.... let's just say, you'll see the - uh, how to put this lightly - less accessible side.
I absolutely adore puns and knock knock jokes. I think they're so punny. One of my favorites is the one that someone said in a previous post, "A Flat Miner."
"Got a light, Mac?"
"No, but I do have a dark brown overcoat."
If he harbors such hate of puns as that, then his ship has sailed.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Devil
I found one!
<Alucart> I do not lie to my wife. She would beat me!
<Alucart> I could punch her, sure, but she has mass. She can pounce and I would be done for! After that, it is just a matter of sitting on the dispute until I die from lack of air.
A victorious high school chess team is celebrating their latest victory at a hotel lobby. They're all talking about their tough plays, why they made certain gambits, etc. Eventually, the owner of the place just booted them out. Why?
He can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
You know, I happen to hate most puns with a passion.
Though I'll admit, most of these are ACTUALLY good.