I want to see some cheesy math humor here!
Printable View
I want to see some cheesy math humor here!
lawl i actually laughed.
you want physics humor? :p
Two atoms sit in a bar.
atom1: are you sure you dont want another beer?
atom2: Im positive.
Haw haw haw! :laugh:
i says to pi "Be rational"
Pi says to i "get real"
Why did the mathemetician become a preist,
He was given a sine
Why dont asymptotes get pulled over?
They dont go over the limit
Why dont pessimists get laid?
You cant root something thats negative
I have hundreds of these but i cant remember them at the moment
edit: A number that always turns greater than or equal to zero walks into a bar and orders a beer and the bartender says "are you sure?" and he says "absolutely!"
A mathemetician was asked the most significant memory he had and he says
"When i learnt to difrentiate it was a real turning point in my life"
I made a most of these up myself
This is the biggest physics joke i could find..
total physics fail!
http://img34.picoodle.com/img/img34/...sm_ab98217.jpg
thats mighty fast.. i get why it crashed now.
Why do mathematicians have trouble telling the difference between Christmas and Halloween?
Because 25 Dec = 31 Oct.
OMG!! Everytime i hear this one the coincidence cotinues to amaze meQuote:
Originally Posted by o_O
^I dont get it. :(
lmaoQuote:
i says to pi "Be rational"
Pi says to i "get real"
Did you hear the amazing mathematician who solved this:
n^2 = nsinx
n = sinx
sinx = six
n
Open up the calculator on your computer in scientific mode, punch in 25, then click the "Oct" radio button.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisteiner
Christmas equals Halloween
25th December = 31st October
25 Dec = 31 Oct
25 Decimal = 31 Octal
My favorite is the proof that girls are evil:
http://media.funlol.com/content/img/0435.jpg
Positive :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
An absolute number is root(x^2)Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessweeee♪Positive :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
so its impossible for it to be negative
I saw Jessweeee♪'s response as a bad pun response.
how should i know that :p.. i just take it as it comes :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying MulletOpen up the calculator on your computer in scientific mode, punch in 25, then click the "Oct" radio button.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisteiner
Christmas equals Halloween
25th December = 31st October
25 Dec = 31 Oct
Oh, I see.
8x3 = 24
24 +1 = 25
I can do maths, me! :D
Oh and I remember the old chestnut about women being evil.
I giggled at this because keeping variables and units separate has been a chore when studying for this physics test xD "Is that an A for amps or for area?! L for length or Inductance?! TAU FOR TORQUE OR FOR TIME CONSTANT??!?!!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisteiner
I love the Proof that Girls are Evil one that Mullet posted. I was going to post that one!
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/snapple.jpg
Can it be chemistry jokes tiem nao?
I only have a GCSE in chemistry so this is as far as I will understand. Physics represent!
Why do things have mass?
Because of Higgs boson.
What happens when you move one entangled photon?
Another one moves, even if its millions of miles away.
Whats the difference between matter and energy?
Nothing, tbh.
How much of a physicists brain is made of empty space?
Almost all of it.
Whats the fourth dimension?
Time
How many times does an electron spin round to reach its starting place?
Twice
....
Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!
Nicked this one from the Internet. I've heard it before and was surprised to find it online.Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Manus
A guy is given a question on a physics test:
Quote:
"You are given an accurate barometer, how would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper?"
He answered: "Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down 'till it touches the ground and measure the length of the string".
The examiner wasn't satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:
"Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics ?"
"Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground......"
"Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again ?"
"Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top......"
"..another try ?...."
"Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it vertically on the ground on a sunny day and measure its shadow, measure the shadow of the skyscraper....."
"....and again ?...."
"walk up the stairs and use the barometer as a ruler to measure the height of the walls in the stairwells."
"...One more try ?"
"Find where the janitor lives, knock on his door and say 'Please, Mr Janitor, if I give you this nice Barometer, will you tell me the height of this building ?"
My favorite math joke ever:
I also once saw a T-shirt that read:
2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
i was about to say xDQuote:
Originally Posted by Vivisteiner
@BG-57; "miracle" describes a lot of what happens in calculus, imo :D
[/QUOTE]Quote:
Originally Posted by o_O
As soon as I saw this thread, I remembered that joke since it used to be in your sig. :D
Thank you for capitalizing the J, putting exactly two Ss and four Es, and including the note!Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying Mullet
No one's done that in awhile ;_;!
I have no idea how to put in the note.. so youll have to excuse me.
and you guys say AK anyway.
As someone else (probably on this forum) has commented. If its time and money shouldnt it be time + money?:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Flying Mullet
Edit: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blownapart_color.jpg
Aw it's fine. I'm just sad that it says Baby Jasweeee by my Wii friend code D:Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerith's Knight
Its maths. And we all know mathematicians just do what they damn well please so that they get the answer they feel like seeing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying Mullet
http://www.martinhwatson.co.uk/expand_maths_joke.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisteiner
^That wasnt funny. It's true.
If you're so clever, care to tell me why?
And if you're even cleverer, explain the answer to my last question.
Why does 4 move less than H?
Because 4 is number!!!!
Physics one:
The speed of light is sitting at the end of a bar and a guy walks in and asks the bartender
"is he always here?"
and the bartended says
"constantly!"
I've seen a t-shirt that said "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions" before. That's about it.
Some people learn binary because they have to, other people just learn it for the 5's
What's the only thing that's bigger upside down?
The number 6.
Haha i saw this wasnt on here sooo "why was Six afraid of Seven?" "Because Seven ate nine!"
There are only 3 types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't
1/3 = 0.33333333333333 etc
1/3+1/3+1/3 = 3/3 = 1
0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333 = .99999999999999 etc = 1
THE JACKEL
Not exactly funny if it's true.Quote:
Originally Posted by ljkkjlcm9
everyone was posting things that were true, figured I'd add one.Quote:
Originally Posted by RaistlinNot exactly funny if it's true.Quote:
Originally Posted by ljkkjlcm9
THE JACKEL
There. I like that joke - but you typed it wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arc_Master_14
i meant to put it that way because its supposed to sound as ate but be eightQuote:
Originally Posted by VivisteinerThere. I like that joke - but you typed it wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arc_Master_14
^Naw, I disagree. I think you should write it my way.
Its a very serious issue and one that should be dealt with sensitively and promptly.
When finding the barometer joke, I found these gems:
Heisenberg was never sure whether or not he did it.
Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
Quantum theorists do it in tiny tiny pieces.
Quantum theorists do it uncertainly.
Spectroscopists do it until it hertz.
Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity.
