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Girlfriend: You used to have a thing for Sarah, right?
Me: Yeah.
Girlfriend: Did you ever... you know...
Me: Have sex with her? Never did, sadly.
Girlfriend: What do you mean, 'sadly'?
Me: Well, she is pretty. It would've been nice if I did her before we started going out.
Yeah, she hasn't talked to me for three days. I don't get it. I think I was just being honest, why should she get mad because I admit that I think a girl's pretty? It's not like I said I'm interested in the girl right now.
Brutally honest, yes. Girls are a complicated species and there's no way to begin to comprehend them. But you shouldn't have said that.
For a relationship to work out on both ends, you have to lie nonstop to each other.
Thought everyone knew this.
For future reference... your girlfriend has to be #1. Period. No one else exists. :cat:
other girls can exist, but only if they are vastly inferior so taht they're practically boys.
3 days is a long time for something like that. Doesn't mean you didn't mess up, cause you did!
I'd feel jealous, if I was her. :snowgirl:
Also, that's shallow. :snowman:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
you said you regret not sleeping with another woman thats where you smurfed up. you made her feel that your sorry you hooked up with her.
i dont know how you can fix this cuz your pretty damn screwed
try and say it was a joke or something. maybe she'll believe it. idk, i'm just saying.
Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. :)
I did? Whoa, I didn't even think of that. That's not what I was implying. I don't regret getting together and I never will, I just think it would have been nice if I'd gotten some Sarah action before doing so.Quote:
Originally Posted by Namelessfengir
When talking to a girl remember one rule:
They are dumb and incredibly irrational.
If something can be taken the wrong way, they will take it that way almost instantly. It is actually quite amazing.
And before the female and "sensitive" males of the forum start in with their bashing, guys are dumb too. Everyone is dumb. So shut up.
i know what you mean man. as a dude im fully for bitching you out cuz you didn't tap sarah. but from the womans perspective it is a great insult and i have no idea how you can fix it
The correct answer would've been, "If I had actually been going out with Sarah, I would've regretted never being intimate with her. But since you and I have each other, there's nothing to be sad about in the least, and Sarah never crosses my mind."Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Thinking about what you said before... to your girlfriend, it would've sounded like you were saying, "I'm sad that I'm going out with you, because I'd rather be having sex with Sarah. At this very minute."
Yeah. You don't tell your current girlfriend you wish you could've banged that hot chick you had a crush on before you started dating. Not good.
I'm really freaking easy-going in terms of relationships, like for example, how we're always talking about seeing hot boys and girls, and cute celebrities and EoFFers (Jowy~), and not really caring if my boyfriend kissed other boys if he wanted to try it. But I think even I'd be kind of hurt by what you said! So that says something!
I admire your brutal honesty, but women need to be lied to every day to appease them.
If it were the other way around, guys wouldn't take kindly to those comments either. So it's not about girls being overly sensitive or not appreciating honesty, it's about tactfulness and consideration of a person's feelings.
She never asked you if you ever regretted not boning this chick, she simply asked if you ever did. Why you would offer that extra tactless info is beyond me.
She doesn't understand the concept that you can love another woman beforehand
I wouldn't give a monkeys, tbhQuote:
If it were the other way around, guys wouldn't take kindly to those comments either.
I think ignoring you for 3 days is over dramatic.
Oh good God, "sadly"? Rookie mistake, man. :D
But she should also understand that people in general like to have sex, and that it's unlikely you'd have never thought sexy thoughts about someone other than her. Read her mind and I bet you'll find she's a hypocrite.
Still, it coulda been worse. You could've cried out Sarah's name during. :laugh:
It's all about being tactful, my cousin told me. You just used the wrong words.
You really can't speak your mind in a relationship.
No, I wasn't being lectured about sex, we were being lectured about communication. ;]
The real problem here isn't that you ever found any other girl attractive in your life, but that you basically said you have some regret about being in a relationship with your girlfriend.
Does your head make a rattling sound when you nod?
For future reference: "No, Sarah was an ugly whore and a self-obsessed slag and she meant nothing to me compared to the meaningful connection you and I share. Before I met you I was so lonely and didn't feel like I belonged anywhere, but now I feel spiritually together with you. Now shut up and show me your tits."
You forgot the ':jokey:' smiley, Psy. Other than that, good work! :thumb:
QFT.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
It's about us wanting to feel extra special to someone, and if we can't even feel that way from our boyfriend, it's a HUGE blow to the female ego. We need to be #1 in terms of non-family member females, and there's a problem if we aren't. By that I don't necessarily mean that you should only be with us and no other, but I mean that if we're in tears because a family member or a beloved pet died, your female friends can wait and will completely understand if you say "I can't hang out right now because my girl's cat just died and she's REALLY sad because she's had this cat since she was 10 and she raised it from a kitten," because they know that if they were going through the same thing, they'd want their boyfriend to be there too.
What you did, Casey, was really stupid. ALWAYS think about what you're going to say before you say it. We CAN take things too personally/the wrong way sometimes, I won't lie. I've had that happen with me and Alan a lot, and I always feel really silly when I find out what he really meant...He's misunderstood some things I've said and done as well, so really, it's not just us.
Guys say stupid things before thinking, girls take things too personally and misunderstand some things, it just happens. All we can do to solve this is learn how to communicate clearly. She needs to learn to ask if you meant what she thinks you meant before jumping to conclusions, but you also need to learn how to word things so that she will understand clearly. You have to think, it was probably tough for her to ask that because she may have been unsure of if she wanted to know or not, in case it was the answer she was thinking it was, and that is the one you answered with.
Or even easier, you know, you could have just said 'No, I didn't.' and left it at that. Saying 'sadly' was a pretty dumb thing to say IMO.Quote:
Originally Posted by Big DThe correct answer would've been, "If I had actually been going out with Sarah, I would've regretted never being intimate with her. But since you and I have each other, there's nothing to be sad about in the least, and Sarah never crosses my mind."Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Thinking about what you said before... to your girlfriend, it would've sounded like you were saying, "I'm sad that I'm going out with you, because I'd rather be having sex with Sarah. At this very minute."
Like I said, women need lies to be appeased.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big DThe correct answer would've been, "If I had actually been going out with Sarah, I would've regretted never being intimate with her. But since you and I have each other, there's nothing to be sad about in the least, and Sarah never crosses my mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Hah! That is in no way the right answer. That says "I wish I were dating Sarah instead of you. / You're my fallback girlfriend."
She asked you a loaded question, and if she didn't want to hear what you had to say, it was her fault. Yes, the "sadly" was tactless, but she set herself up. I personally think she needs to chill a bit.
The most important rule ever!
Your girlfriend is the prettiest, funniest, most important thing ever ever and all other girls are REPULSIVE and ICKY.
Repeat that to yourself as many times as necessary.
Women are confusing creatures and half the time aren't worth the trouble.
*insert sexist comment here*
I'd have banged FOA too... :o
ITT Rye lulz because every guy who is making comments about how "dumb" girls are, is strangely enough... single!
Anyway, I think not talking to you for three days is a excessive. I don't think the meaning behind what you said was bad, but how you said it wasn't the best way. I think if you had worded it:
"I could have at least gotten some action out of it while it lasted! Oh well (a passing thought kind of "oh well" though, not a serious regretful one, or else she might be mad)... I have you now though. That's what matter."
She wouldn't have gotten mad. I wouldn't have been, I'd have laughed.
QFT. No girl wants to think that they were a second choice/convenient.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
Even if they were. You should have said no, didn't sleep with her, and either shut up there, or said you'd rather do it with your girlfriend. Even if it's not true.
As has been said, she probably interpreted what you said as "I wish I had Sarah, but I guess you'll do". I can understand why she'd be hurt by that. What you should do is (When she's willing to listen) tell her that you worded what you said badly. You didn't mean that you preferred Sarah over her, or that you regret being with her, or that she was a second choice. You only meant that Sarah was attractive.
Oh, and as I think has been said, bois can be super offended about this sort of thing as well. Girl or boy, I'd get upset if I thought the person I was with preferred someone else to mewhy else do you think I am sabotaging all her friendships.
Wow you certainly have a certain influence in this it feels like you stole the words from outta my mouth! lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Seriously though yeah as Kes said it was a bit of a loaded question you don't get second chances or guesses here you get 1 shot at answering correctly. 3 days & I'd consider myself dumped lol sorry to say that but it's the truth.
Correct answer was to shut your fool mouth and 1) never admit liking another girl in a romantic way believe me even admitting you liked someone gives a bit of incrimination which WILL bite you in the ass especially if you still speak to that girl/guy in particulary. 2) keep plausible deniability, take a leaf outta the CIA's book. Essentially if you never admit anything it never happened and it can stay that way learn to lie. 3) Don't ask the "well you liked so and so didn't you?" question it's just a way to get hurt. This goes for both girls and guys so there no sexism here. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend has friends she used to fancy ect but the difference is, if nothing is happening there I don't want to know about it. I know I got friends I used to fancy too and I just don't talk about those friends very much with the girlfriend. What they don't know won't hurt them.
Well, me having Shauna makes me the opposite of single. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
Girls are the creatures of hell and are 100% evil. :cool:
O:
I'm telling!
I don't agree with this. I'd much rather to be told truth than be lied to.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
OH NO YOU FOUND/FIND SOMEBODY ELSE ATTRACTIVE, HOW TERRIBLE! :D I don't think that is the issue, it's the fact that your girlfriend felt like you hold regrets in being with her. I think the only thing you said wrong was the "sadly", because aside from that you were just answering her question and being truthful. I still think that ignoring you and not talking to you for 3 days is over dramatic, as a simple apology should do the trick because you just worded what you said the wrong way. :jess:
it's not the fact that you said the girl was pretty. It's that you said that you wished you had had the chance to have sex with her. that was a HUGE mistake.
I don't think that three days is excessive. Especially if Dr. Casey doesn't feel that he did anything wrong and is not apologizing. Three days is not enough and even ten more won't be until he pays enough penance. Crawling on his knees and repeating (and meaning) what Psy has said:
No, Sarah was an ugly whore and a self-obsessed slag and she meant nothing to me compared to the meaningful connection you and I share. Before I met you I was so lonely and didn't feel like I belonged anywhere, but now I feel spiritually together with you.
Or something to that effect (affect?).
Effect. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
But the bottom line is, you smurfed up, Casey, and now you have to pay for what you did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
You didn't just admit the girl was pretty, you admitted that you would have liked to have sex with her before you started going out with your current girlfriend.
That sir, is a no-no.
Saying that is saying "Man, I wish I would have gotten with Sarah before I got with you, I mean LOOK AT HER, she's obviously pretty enough to want all the guys after her in a mindless drone fashion. I mean, I almost can't believe I didn't get with her before I got with you, I mean Sarah > You. Seriously, like I mean I love you and all, but I would SO have done Sarah given the chance" in girl speak.
Are you really so oblivious that you didn't think what you said was going to upset your girlfriend? Wow.
Uh, no. Lie to me and you'll know what trouble really is. Lumping women together and making stereotypical, denigrating remarks ain't cool.Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx Power
QFMFT & GJQuote:
Originally Posted by Rye
Exactly. My boyfriend and I have been together five years and we talk about people we find attractive and people we have crushes on all the time. It's okay for him to say "Damn, that girl is hot." but it ain't okay for him to say "Man, I wish I'd smurfed her before I met you!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
xD. Leeza is a pro.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
I never said dumb!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
*shakes head*
thats just stupid man..
I wonder how it would be it was the other way around, with the girl saying something like that about an ex.
Obviously you have no idea just how much guys lie in that case. We lie constantly. About almost everything. It just makes our lives easier to just lie all the time. In my experience being completely honest, as this topic illustrates quite nicely, is not what women in general want.Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
(SPOILER)Also if I get another argument pointing out the lack of semantics in my statements that don't explicitly exclude a small percentage I'm going to break something. I get this counter-argument all the time. Yes, I know that not everyone is the same, you don't need to point it out to me. Also it's general chat, lighten up, srsly.
[caveman]Man win thread. Man lols.[/caveman]Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx Power
CMP people are calling you out on your utter bullcrap, not on semantic arguments. There is no way to spin "All guys lie to girls, all the time, and it's the only way girls are ever happy." in any kind of way which allows for exceptions. Did you ever think that a decent enough guy might not have to tell lies to keep girls happy? Maybe it's not the girls, Maxx.
The guys lying to their ladies all the time (and the ladies who actually need to be lied to in order to keep from going insane) are on the fast track to failure.
Pretend I'm a good looking, intelligent and generally awesome girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx Power
Oh hi Maxx *giggles*, you're a really caring and sweet guy. So...are you gay?
Lie your way out of that one, son.
You don't need to pretend
1) Girls who ask those kind of questions are dumb.
2) Most girls are way more sensitive to language like that then most guys. In general, a guy won't be that phased if a girl said something like that. Not saying they wouldn't be, but they'll take it a lot better.
3) Regardless, tact is very important. You, my friend, need to run what you say through your head before you say it.
4) The reason all the guys who are saying girls are dumb are single is because girls are dumb, and we aren't willing to drop ourselves down to that leve.
5) To Psys quandary: Yes, I am gay. But I'm also a women, which is why I want in your pants. ;)
I wouldn't really be that insulted in that kind of a situation. If I had a GF, and she said to me, "You aren't very sexy", then I wouldn't mind, because I don't pride myself on how well I do in bed. That's not really what I look for in a companion.
But maybe that has something to do with my being single...
Dude no matter what NEVER EVER say anything about your exs! They can be pretty, sexy anything, but ur gf doesn't ned to know -.-" That's rule number one: never talk about past! To make it worse by saying 'sadly' it sounds you regret not having sex with her! That's even dumber! -.-" God men sometimes are really dumb <_<Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Women must feel they are special -.-"
Maybe YOU lie. Maybe a lot of the guys you know lie. The guys I know don't lie. These are men who'll tell me "that shirt makes you look pregnant. If you don't want people asking you when the baby is due, you should wear a different shirt." The argument isn't about semantics, it's about just being wrong. There isn't some small percentage of men who don't lie. All people lie some of the time, but no one lies all of the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx PowerObviously you have no idea just how much guys lie in that case. We lie constantly. About almost everything. It just makes our lives easier to just lie all the time. In my experience being completely honest, as this topic illustrates quite nicely, is not what women in general want.Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
(SPOILER)Also if I get another argument pointing out the lack of semantics in my statements that don't explicitly exclude a small percentage I'm going to break something. I get this counter-argument all the time. Yes, I know that not everyone is the same, you don't need to point it out to me. Also it's general chat, lighten up, srsly.
And YOU lighten up! :p
I fully agree with Jess on this.Quote:
Originally Posted by JessI don't agree with this. I'd much rather to be told truth than be lied to.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
OH NO YOU FOUND/FIND SOMEBODY ELSE ATTRACTIVE, HOW TERRIBLE! :D I don't think that is the issue, it's the fact that your girlfriend felt like you hold regrets in being with her. I think the only thing you said wrong was the "sadly", because aside from that you were just answering her question and being truthful. I still think that ignoring you and not talking to you for 3 days is over dramatic, as a simple apology should do the trick because you just worded what you said the wrong way. :jess:
Also, having to lie to your girlfriend to appease her is just dumb and unnecessary. Any relationship where lying like that is needed and necessary is headed for failure, like Roto said. Honesty is the way to go.. just edit what you say if needed :P
But... girls aren't dumb. I have a girl and I've been elevated by it, not reduced. I have attained more, not stooped to less. If the only girls a guy can get are the sort that would lessen him, well, he's not an impressive catch to begin with!Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
you need a more easy-going girl, man.
I agree with Breine and - by proxy - Rye. From experience, I can tell you that being brutally honest really isn't the way to go over things like that. I'm not saying that it's necessary to lie, but I do think it's important that you word things carefully and consider the implications of what the brutal truth might have, despite how honourable your intentions of being entirely honest might be.Quote:
Originally Posted by Breine
Why did that topic come up in conversation anyway?
Why did she feel the need to ask if you'd had sex with another woman?
Who is Sarah, in relation to you both?
I don't think the question was "loaded" at all. It's actually really important, I think, to know the sexual history of your partner.
And all the guys saying that they wouldn't give a damn if it were reversed, I don't buy it. Guys are even more territorial than girls are. And if a girl had said, "Oh man, I totally wish I could have smurfed Tom when I had the chance. He was so hot" then yeah, as a boyfriend you would probably feel hurt and it's natural and understandable to feel hurt in that situation. Maybe you would get over it quicker and be less dramatic about it, but hurtful is hurtful is hurtful - regardless of whether you are male or female.
I have a best friend who was in a similar situation. He current boy asked if his penis was smaller or bigger than her previous boyfriend's. Now THAT is obviously a loaded question. She answered by saying it was smaller in length bit equal in girth and he got ALL SORTS OF BUTTHURT over it. Even though she tried to be gentle as possible about her answer. Imagine if she had said something like, "Oh so-and-so is WAY bigger. Your's is a good inch or two smaller than what I'm used to." He would have been butthurt x100 if she hadn't cushioned it for him a bit.
It's not about lying, it's about being tactful. Brutal honesty is not always necessary.
Nice going...except the last little bit of that is telling the truth and therefore just won't fly!Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
He should have got the full effect of the butthurt for asking such a stupid question. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Miriel
When this is viewed in the index page it says... "I think I pissed my"
My brain instantly thought this was about people pissing their pants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miriel
Thank you. <3
Exactly. I think any guy who says that they wouldn't be offended, even a bit, obviously doesn't have much experience with girls.
I agree. I can understand the insecurity and the desire to be told "o babi yours is the most colossal EVER you could lay that thing across the mississippi and dam it up", but really, asking something like that is begging for trouble.Quote:
Originally Posted by MomijiHe should have got the full effect of the butthurt for asking such a stupid question. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Miriel
Edit: For record, I agree overall with what Miriel said.
I'd get pissed too. =/
Girls get jealous very easily even of their friends, shes still a little over dramatic though.
Id say you got 2 options of getting her to talk again.
Tell her you made a bet with a friend to see what her reaction was or something like that, explain it was only a joke.;)
Or say somehting like "oh dont be perfectic, i was only being honest, like youve never thought about other guys etc.:D
Nononononononono don't say the bet thing, she'll be mortified D:
Seriously. Don't say that first thing.
Okay maybe that was bad, but it did work for my friend once:D
I don’t get why people ask about the past relationships of their partners at all because if they tell the truth, you’ll hate it. If they lie, you’ll hate it because you probably won’t believe what they said. She made the mistake of even asking that question.
Now I never said you got to lie to avoid telling them the truth that you found people attractive and wanted to be with them, I said lie if you're ever in the situation where something did happen but you don't want that person to know, I don't advocate cheating and remaining with someone thats using them I do say sometimes it's better to never let someone know you left them because someone else offered you something a little better, this goes for guys and girls. Plausible deniability if they have no concrete evidence is often the better way. I once broke up with a girl because I cheated on her. I didn't intend to cheat but I met someone with an irressistable offer, she to this day doesn't know I cheated on her and we still talk. Because only me and the girl I happened to cheat with never told anyone (we also kept our relationship in the quiet for a bit too) and there is no proof I done this. In never admitting the existence of this event it in her mind and the mind of my friends who know this girl did not happen.
What I mean by "don't tell them if you found someone attractive before you got with them" is to edit what you say, think about it's rammifications if you say something stupid like "yeah I liked someone I'm still good friends with them and sadly you know the only thing that stopped me getting some was this" then it's just hurtful and insanely cruel. Now admitting you liked someone at one point isn't naturally a bad thing but if you're still friends with that someone it becomes awkward because you're then still seeing this person and your partner might not realize that you're not with them because they're a consolation prize. Instead of lying and saying "oh baby I've never found anyone attractive" I merely say be a little selective with the truth don't admit liking close friends of your own or theirs and NEVER admit a relative of theirs is someone you liked. It's like asking if your dick is bigger or smaller than someones ex, you don't do it if you don't wanna get hurt or lied to. Overall the message is: think before you act and if you can truly make this great smurfup and not realize you smurfed up then you truly don't deserve the girl in the first place, she's got the right to be upset not because you hurt her feelings but because you don't understand how you hurt her feelings. Brutal honesty is never the best policy in a relationship and with-held information doesn't make you a liar it makes you sensible no one ever tells anyone everything or didn't you learn from starwars? If taught everything the apprentice becomes the master but because they're learning they've got the ingenuity for even more progress.
Stop picking on me! :mad2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
Most of my friends are guys, and I know that they don't lie continously to their lady friends to keep them happy. I know of many of relationships that have been broken down due to lies, including one of my own. Like Roto said, those in a relationship built on lies are on the road to failure - in the end, most lies will be caught out. Nobody likes a liar.Quote:
Obviously you have no idea just how much guys lie in that case. We lie constantly. About almost everything. It just makes our lives easier to just lie all the time. In my experience being completely honest, as this topic illustrates quite nicely, is not what women in general want.
I don't understand this, either. Seriously, it's the past. The past is not the present. Who cares? They've liked another girl. They've had sex with another girl. Why care? The past is the past, at the end of the day they're with you now. I don't think I'd like it if somebody kept their past from me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Polaris
Ok, let me try to explain this. I'm not talking about lies like "I didn't have sex with her", none of the biggies like that. What I mean are the smaller white lies we tell to keep the peace. Here are some examples forthwith;Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
"Of course I don't find her attractive"
"Those shoes look nice on you"
"Sure, I'd prefer going to a restaurant too"
"I don't look at porn"
etc. etc.
What if the shoes did look nice on her?
Is it bad that I'd prefer the truth?Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx PowerOk, let me try to explain this. I'm not talking about lies like "I didn't have sex with her", none of the biggies like that. What I mean are the smaller white lies we tell to keep the peace. Here are some examples forthwith;Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
"Of course I don't find her attractive"
"Those shoes look nice on you"
"Sure, I'd prefer going to a restaurant too"
"I don't look at porn"
etc. etc.
"Of course I don't find her attractive" ("Yes, she's hot!" I'd agree if I found her attractive, if not: OH NO YOU FIND ANOTHER GIRL ATTRACTIVE, LETS BREAK UP :rolleyes2)
"I don't like those shoes" (If I like them, tough :skull::skull::skull::skull: - I'll wear them when I want, where I want.. If I dont - good! I never have to wear them again (although it's unlikely I'd buy a pair of shoes I didn't like. :jess:))
"I'd prefer this restaurant" (Okay, lets try there then. Seeing as I would have said "I don't mind where we go" anyway, as I'm not picky! Seriously. I'm the most annoying person in the world for "I don't mind!" - ask Paul xDD)
"I don't look at porn" (Oh, please. Do I even need to go into it here? Every guy, if not every girl has looked at porn in their lives.)
Honesty is the best policy IMO, but I also know girls (and guys, actually) in which they would be hurt if you said any of the above to them, so I do see your point; I'm not saying that every girl would like the same, but personally I prefer truth over any lie.
Yes, lets all follow Jess's 4-step guide to a break-up.
What the smurf are you talking about, dude? So... if you tell the truth you're instantly doomed to a break-up? Seriously, elaborate.
I did clarify that I would personally prefer those things, and that others may not.
I agree with Jess.
My dad has always said, if the women you want to marry doesn't want the truth she's a bitch.
Translating that into English (my father needs a translator xD), he's saying, "If a woman doesn't want you for what you really think, she doesn't actually love you."
I agree with that. Sometimes my mom doesn't like the truth my dad gives, but that doesn't mean she doesn't just put up with it, a sign of actual love and companionship.
He must lie about pretty serious things then, for the truth to result in a break up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
My boyfriend knows I have a zero tolerance lying or "hiding the truth" rule. If I ask him if something looks okay and he doesn't give me an answer that I feel is truthful, I'll hound him until he does so.
When we first got together, one of the first things he did was sit me down and tell me about all his past girlfriends, who they were, where they lived, when they met, what they did sexually, their personalities, their bodies, everything, completely on his own will, and that's because he knows that in any relationship truth is a number one priority.
The other day I was looking at Maternity clothes and found a like.. bright pink fade to bright orange top that I wanted an opinion on. At first he looks at it and goes "It's too bright", one of the lady workers came by and asked how we were doing and we said we were fine and then she walked off. I went to put the shirt back and then asked him again, how he really felt because he knows I knew he wasn't telling the full truth.
Then he says "When you're like 9 months pregnant, you're gonna look like a mango in that shirt."
Granted, it's not the kindest thing, either way I got a laugh and the truth so I was content.
I usually let him pick out almost all of my clothes because if you can lie about something as stupid as a shirt looking bad then what else could you lie about?
I'm happier with the truth, especially if someone's lying to me to appease me. I lose respect for people who lie to protect my feelings, I don't protect theirs, why should they protect mine?
Oh my god, this thread is hilarious. I don't consider myself much of a feminist, but even I'm in pain at some of the stuff guys are saying in here, and the opinions. If any of you complain about being single again, and wonder why? Read this thread over, and over, and over, and I'll giggle and wiggle my toes in amusement.
So if a gf asks: Is my ass fat?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
I should say: well, yeah.. but i dont mind.
saying the truth all the time is just stupid, as girls dont always want to hear the truth.. however you may think about it.
The better thing to say would be "yeah, your butt IS big, but you know what? I love your big butt, it makes you even sexier." That's what made ME feel better, anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerith's KnightSo if a gf asks: Is my ass fat?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
I should say: well, yeah.. but i dont mind.
saying the truth all the time is just stupid, as girls dont always want to hear the truth.. however you may think about it.
ALSO, ALWAYS tell the truth. Don't listen to all the dumbasses who are saying "you have to lie to your girl to make her feel better" or "telling the truth all the time is dumb." If she breaks up with you over the truth, that's her loss. It hurts WAY more to find out someone lied to you than to find out the truth first hand because...well, like someone (I forget who) said, "if you can lie about something small (ex. watching porn, why your status on facebook says you're broken up when you have a girlfriend, etc), then what else could you be lying about?" Every girl has the right to be suspicious if she thinks you're lying and you have a history of lying-even if they're only little white lies. Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile.
Also, keep in mind that even if you do choose to lie to your girl and it seems like she believes you, deep down, she might still have that small feeling that you're lying and if she finds out her gut was right and giving you the benefit of the doubt was a mistake, she'll be hurt, pissed, confused, and trust will be lost (what the lie is about and why you thought it was okay to lie to her in the first place are factors in how much trust is lost.) She may begin to question everything you say, even though she may not say so out loud.
Speaking from personal experience here, btw. Some people may call me paranoid or too suspicious but I've had my fair share of lying boyfriends in the past, and I do NOT deal kindly with it, even if it's a little white lie.
See, the reason why it's better to tell the truth now is because we can get over it faster. If you lie, it takes a LOT longer to get over, and I'm sure what I said above highlights why. Loss of trust can really, truly damage a relationship. DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE.
EDIT: Also, it's like I said before. It's not that we don't want to hear the truth. We just want to feel like someone holds us above all others, we want someone to make us feel special, loved, cared for. If you make it sound like we're just another girl, like we're easily replaced, like you wish we were someone else, or that you wish you could smurf someone else even though you're with us, we hurt. We hurt a lot. Why? We're emotional little things who strive on love, affection, truth, and all that good stuff.
We know you look at other girls, we know you think they're hot. Do you think we're hotter? Are you glad you're with us and not them? Do you really feel proud of our relationship? You should say "yes" to all of the above, and if you can't, re-evaluate how you feel about the person you're with and what your relationship means to you. Re-evaluate why you're with that person. The best way I can put this is: Your girlfriend is supposed to be your #1 girl no matter what. She comes first above all other girls (aside from family, maybe), she is the most beautiful, sexy, hot, and attractive girl in the world, no other girl will ever compare. This is the number one rule that you must follow.
If you don't feel this way, you don't have a very successful relationship. She puts you first, what's wrong with putting her first?
dont get me wrong, id speak the truth if it was important
funny though, that every girl here says to always speak the truth, but when i look at reality, at how everytime i slip up and speak the truth on those insignificant and stupid things, they get mad.
Its so contradictive it makes me smile :)
I really dont think any guys in here should take advice from a girl.. guys can give advice out of experience.. but girls..
It's how you say it of course.. you can twist the truth to something funny or flattering.. but most often girls really dont want to be reminded of their flaws.. at least in my experience..
of course, you can strike gold and end up with a girl that thinks like those that respond in here, if so, well done.
As a guy, this is my advice.Quote:
I really dont think any guys in here should take advice from a girl.. guys can give advice out of experience..
Ask her to meet up with you - sound apologetic - and go for a drive in your car because you have a surprise for her. Drive to a secluded spot, grab her by the hair and tell her what a stupid whore she's been. Ram her face into the windshield as hard as you possibly can, and check to see if she has been knocked out. If not, repeat until she has. Next, point the car at something hard, like a wall. Get out, place a brick onto the accelerator, wait for it to crash. Clamber back in, and hopefully she is dead. If not, you're probably going to have to crack her skull open with the brick. Next, smash your face on the front of the car hard enough to break your nose but not knock you out, take your brick, climb back out, call the emergency services and celebrate the perfect murder.
Because I am a guy, my advice is much more sound than the advice of girls like Jess or Miriel so you should probably do it.
Psy, even if that is a joke, that is absolutely terrible.
...You're the worst. xDQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Talking on the talkies & the shinra thread
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\/
PG's spaiware thread
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\/
I think I pissed my girlfriend off
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my stupid LIFE
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Chicken and kool-aid
This is the hierarchy of my favorite threads ever on EoFF now. :bigsmile:
lulz @ Paul :bigsmile:
Also, don't listen to guys who say not to listen to us girls. Because while we can't speak for all girls, we can give you a better idea of how other girls will react because we're girls. Strangely enough, we know how to think like girls. Take that how you will, but yeah.
(SPOILER)AK, shut up. You have too much phail to even begin to advise.
You've got class.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerith's Knight
Not all girls are the same. I have no care what so ever for other peoples feelings, which is why I don't see the point, nor want people sparing mine because I'm a girl.
I tell my boyfriend he's getting fat when he was getting fat, I tell him he smells when he smells, anything that I would say to any person I say to him and it works the same for me. If he doesn't like my perfume, he'll tell me, he thinks a shirt makes me look fat, he tells me, I mean just yesterday he told me how much the baby's making me swell up. I'm getting bigger, I know this, why would I deny it?
Also, most the time girls ask if something looks good on them or makes them look fat is because they usually feel that it has the possibility to make them look fat or ugly, if you said yes chances are they'd say like "I thought so", you don't need reassurance unless you're doubting something.
The other day when we were clothes shopping for my maternity clothes, there was a shirt that I liked but it's sleeves were weird. He thought the right thing to say was that the shirt was fine, but he barely looked at it and he said it in a tone that screamed "Uhhhh THIS IS WHAT I SHOULD BE SAYING BECAUSE I'M A ROBOT" after asking him three times, he goes "The sleeves are weird" which was what I was worried about, I didn't mind them -too- much but I'm not about to go out in something that we both agree'd is flawed, in this case the sleeves.
Granted though, most girls that need a guy to reassure them of themselves are clearly insecure. I don't need a yes man or a drone for a boyfriend. I find it rather insulting that guys find it easier to lie about little things just to keep their girl quiet for a little while. But then again, I'm not like most girls.
It's not a joke, it really works!Quote:
Originally Posted by Momiji
Sure, honesty is good and sycophancy is bad - but tact is the key, I reckon. Criticism and cold, hard facts can be delivered in a polite way without too much effort. Like the shirt you were talking about, for instance. If he had said, "the sleeves are freakish and you'd look smurfing ridiculous wearing that", then you'd be quite justified in feeling a little hurt, at least.Quote:
Originally Posted by Avarice-ness
Truth is fine, but delivery's important too. That's the case for virtually any dealings with other people, it's just especially important with one's partner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big DSure, honesty is good and sycophancy is bad - but tact is the key, I reckon. Criticism and cold, hard facts can be delivered in a polite way without too much effort. Like the shirt you were talking about, for instance. If he had said, "the sleeves are freakish and you'd look smurfing ridiculous wearing that", then you'd be quite justified in feeling a little hurt, at least.Quote:
Originally Posted by Avarice-ness
Truth is fine, but delivery's important too. That's the case for virtually any dealings with other people, it's just especially important with one's partner.
That is true. In my first example a couple of posts back I talked about a bright pink/orange shirt, basically he first said "The shirts to bright" then later after I put it back he told me that I would look like a mango in it when I'm 9 months pregnant.
When he said "the shirts to bright" my response was "That's it?" and just left to put it away, when he said "You'd look like a mango" my response was "A MANGO!?!?!?" now most people would have gotten mad or hurt enough to not talk to him but me and my boyfriend are pretty open about everything, I got all huffy for about 2 minutes until I myself, came to the realization that I would, infact, look like a mango at 9 months. xD
Point being, delivery is VERY important. I have no problem with my boyfriend going "that girl is pretty" or talking about celebs he's liked or still likes due to the fact I'm 1. secure enough to know that no other girl is a threat to me and 2. he doesn't go "My god, that girls hot, I would so do things to her that would blow your mind"
That's what you think! You're wrong ;) Guys have sex-egos the size of... ('"your penis, dear") I dunno, something really big. I guarantee that if a chick tells her bfQuote:
Originally Posted by Kentarou
- I don't find you that sexy
- Your penis isn't that big
Or something to that effect they'll probably emo out. :p
My ex got so offended all the time that i didn't want to have sex with him as often as he wanted to have sex with me and kept saying "boohoo you don't find me as sexy as I find you crycry" and we got into so many fights over it. Sorry but my sex drive is not the size of Texas, it's fairly normal. I cushioned it for him as much as I could too, "It's not that i don't find you sexy or as sexy, I do! I just don't feel like having sex right now" "But then why don't you? BECAUSE I'M NOT SEXY ENOUGH? ;___:" dear god.
Male egos at LEAST comparative if not so much worse than female egos. Just depends on the kind of S.O. you end up with! :3
Anyway, I think there is a difference between omitting tidbits of informaiton that would be obviously harmful to your relationship and outright lying.
- Jojee
Seems I forgot to put the :p smiley at the end of that one. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILFBut... girls aren't dumb. I have a girl and I've been elevated by it, not reduced. I have attained more, not stooped to less. If the only girls a guy can get are the sort that would lessen him, well, he's not an impressive catch to begin with!Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
The genius of this is, my friend, is I don't want in their pants.Quote:
Originally Posted by PsychoticNice going...except the last little bit of that is telling the truth and therefore just won't fly!Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCracker
Literally, or the sexual connotation of that phrase.
Edit - And post using your own account! :mad2:
You're kidding, right? You said that to your girl?
Haha, oh man..
Seriously, what's wrong with taking advice from the opposite gender, even if it's the opposite gender you're dating? I don't see the problem there.. I only see big benefits. Take any advice you can get, and then use what you personally find useful and fits your situation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerith's Knight
Taking your advice would end up in a one-sided way of thinking about relationships, which isn't exactly good.
I agree. Having to lie, even about smaller things, is unnecessary. Having said that, brutal honesty isn't the way to go either. Just take the middle course and edit what you say if it's needed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Goldenboko
It's not just girls but some guys are sometimes sensitive to the mention of their girlfriends' exes.
It's best not to bring up the past. Even if she asks, you could respond with things like, "I don't want to talk about her/that!"
Psychotic has been playing too much GTA. :C Good advice, though!
Maxx Power is right. If you think the guys you know aren't lying constantly, that means they are better at lying constantly than guys who you think do lie constantly. I am being completely serious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
I hope it all works out for you man.
If you wanted to answer you probably shouldnt of been so painfully honest.
And if a situation identical to that comes up again, for the love of god, dont say what you did there. Just play it cool, tell her about the past, just not all of it and about how you wish you could of slept with her. That would just inject a massive dose of crazy-jealous into her system.
Just to clarify incase this wasn't made apparent by my blatant egregious manner, I WAS SMURFING JOKING. It's ridiculous that you people take anything I say in General Chat seriously, but it's like the whole ordeal has clung onto me like a damned lamprey eel or something. I can't even believe that I of all people have to explain this, but I was KIDDING. Having a laugh, a chortle, making fun etc. etc. etc.
Sand in a few vagina's, obviously.
OMG lol :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
Hmm... I think I'll give the Thread Starter some advice here.
I don't really know your girlfriend, but I think that of all things, she'd appreciate an apology. However, because she has simply stopped speaking with you and didn't give any clues as to why, I have this gut feeling she's going to say "Huh? What are you talking about?" if you say something along the lines of "I'm sorry I said ...". So, what you must do is try to come into contact with her, and be your usual self, minus wanting to have sex with other girls. If she considers it to be an issue, then she will bring it up, and then you can apologize.
This post is precisely why we need more 'serious' threads in GC.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
Take it to the serious section if you want serious threads.
Also, I'm laughing at anyone who took what I said seriously.
I'd say the only error there is the word 'probably'. That sort of thing for for seriously upset a guy. Hardcore.Quote:
Originally Posted by edczxcvbnm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuuky
Maxx Power has UNLEASHED THE smurfING FURY OH NO HIDE!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Maxx Power
(SPOILER)You can't write off everything you ever say that people dislike as "It was a joke guys lighten up!". If this sort of thing happens and it genuinely is a joke then, well, truth tellings thymes - you're not very good at joking.
Taking it seriously makes it fun though. :love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
But then the person asking for help never gets help! D:Quote:
Originally Posted by DMKATaking it seriously makes it fun though. :love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
Not to be a bitch, but that's why EoEO exists.Quote:
Originally Posted by KentarouBut then the person asking for help never gets help! D:Quote:
Originally Posted by DMKATaking it seriously makes it fun though. :love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
This is why committed relationships suck! As if your girlfriend doesn't look at other men and become attracted to them.
You wait your girlfriend out and see if she's the type that won't ever let you even look at other women. If she breaks up with you because (essentially) you're not gay (and not the better reason that you broke the (supposedly) explicit verbal contract of fidelity), I personally think you've dodged a bullet.
I would never apologize for being straight and finding attractive women attractive. For the females about to tear me a new orifice, if we swapped genders and a guy comes in here telling how his girlfriend was like 'he's so hunky I wish he and I had a tryst before we met', how would you tell us to react?
I like cakes.
No, EoEO is for taking things seriously. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by DMKANot to be a bitch, but that's why EoEO exists.Quote:
Originally Posted by KentarouBut then the person asking for help never gets help! D:Quote:
Originally Posted by DMKATaking it seriously makes it fun though. :love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
shouldnt that guy be on the toilet? He looks like he's pushing out a big one.
I'm being super cereally you guys.Quote:
Originally Posted by KentarouNo, EoEO is for taking things seriously. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by DMKANot to be a bitch, but that's why EoEO exists.Quote:
Originally Posted by KentarouBut then the person asking for help never gets help! D:Quote:
Originally Posted by DMKATaking it seriously makes it fun though. :love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
Plural.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pureghetto
I'll just quote PG here, but this applies to a lot of the other posts in this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pureghetto
You all are taking all this the wrong way and are just not getting it. We're not saying that you can't find other girls attractive - that would be unrealistic - or that you wish you could hump them....(even though the person that you are with is the one that you truly love and would never actually follow through on your thoughts). However, you don't have to actually speak these words because once spoken they really can't be taken back. Not speaking them is not lying. It's being respectful of your current love.
Guys quit spamming up the thread please.
Psy's post is at least as inappropriate as the one i got a warning for.
*WHINE*
This thread is made of BAWWW and lawl.
It humors me much.
I don't see a warning for you in this thread. :cat:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirage
In answer to the thread: Yes, you did. Make amends. :p
I can agree with this view too. I never took the context of what he said into account. I'm not even sure if there's a way to tactfully express that you find another person sexually attractive (staring at somebody else is pretty tactless, for example).Quote:
Originally Posted by LeezaI'll just quote PG here, but this applies to a lot of the other posts in this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pureghetto
You all are taking all this the wrong way and are just not getting it. We're not saying that you can't find other girls attractive - that would be unrealistic - or that you wish you could hump them....(even though the person that you are with is the one that you truly love and would never actually follow through on your thoughts). However, you don't have to actually speak these words because once spoken they really can't be taken back. Not speaking them is not lying. It's being respectful of your current love.
Guys quit spamming up the thread please.
Um. My boyfriend and I talk about other girls being attractive and it's fine. DUH, he's gonna find other girls attractive. That's just a given.
That's not what the situation in this thread is about.
Thinking someone is attractive is NOT the same thing as expressing regret over not taking the chance to smurf somebody and wishing you had before your current relationship started. If my boyfriend looks at an attractive girl and says, "yeah, she's pretty. I'd probably do her." even that is different from him looking at a girl and sadly saying, "aww man. I wish I could be hitting THAT. =/"
It's as big a difference as "I don't think that dress looks good on you" and "I don't get why you're always wearing dresses, your body is too fat for that kind of stuff."
I can't understand why so many guys in this thread are focusing on things like honesty vs. lying and oversensitivity over finding other girls attractive when that's not even what it's all about.
Perhaps this is more of a philosophical question. How can you know how each person is going to react or say until they are put in such situation? You can have thoughts about it now but until that exact moment came, even your own statements now can't be certain.
Contradictions are easy to run into but then again I know I sound so skeptic.
I believe it was wrong on a moral, social, and emotional standard. If you are one that appeals to those (as most humans do) then the behavior emitted should not have been warranted.
I'd just like to take time to point out something that y'all seem to have missed:
Casey's girlfriend is not your girlfriend/boyfriend.
I would be a bit -_- if my girlfriend said something like "I wish I'd done Jack before we started going out", but I wouldn't soil myself for three days straight and ignore her. She'd probably be even more -_- than me if I said what Casey said, but she wouldn't ignore me for three days either.
The fact that Casey's girlfriend does choose to ignore him does not make her a stupid over-sensitive bitch. She is not the Devil reincarnate. She just doesn't appreciate her boyfriend regretting not having the chance to bang some other chick. Some women are like that. "Crazy, I know. :rolleyes2" <-- this is sarcasm.
The fact that Casey was so blunt and brutally honest does not make him a disrespectful woman-beating bastard. His ignorance of the female psyche is a bummer, yes, but it doesn't instantly turn him into a monster. I'm fairly good with most women, and usually say the right thing at the right place (or omit the right thing at the right place), but I understand less than 1% of their thoughts. Casey's ignorance and his girlfriends sensitivity are no reason to get out the pitchforks and flaming torches, kids.
Here's what I think Casey should do (just in case he doesn't have the resources to do Psy's idea ;)): get your girlfriend in private. Apologise for what you did wrong ("I'm really sorry that I hurt your feelings" is something like what you'll want to say). Then ask her why what you said hurt her, whilst explaining that you don't understand women that well. If she once again soils herself for your asking her to try to help you understand her, do whatever is necessary to complete Psychotic's idea. Or explain to her in dummy dum-dum words that men think differently to women, and you are particularly oblivious to their thought process. Once again: this doesn't make you a jerk. The fact that you're talking to your girlfriend in order to understand her better makes you better than most, and she should appreciate that. When you've got why what you said was wrong, apologise shockedly ("Oh my God, really? Oh crap, I'm so so sorry!"), then enjoy the wonder that is make-up and "You understand me so well!" sex combined. :bigsmile:
Seriousness aside, this really should've been put in EoEO, dude. It stops the plebians getting into hissy fits about Maxx's extremely subtle sense of humour. As a side-note for Maxx: you'll have to apologise to those here that didn't understand you were joking. I didn't, for one. The problem is that we can't see your face or hear your tone of voice, so all we have to go on is your words. That said, I still hardly think that the "MAXX U smurfING JERK! DATS NOT FUNNEH!" reactions were slightly over the top.[/rant]
Like I said in another thread,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagensyg
I think the fact that a number of the females here have expressed the idea that they would have reacted similarly tends to the fact that it's a common reaction and that she isn't a hyper sensitive bitch.
Rubah is right, unfortunately most women are crazy.
Well, I think my only problem with her reaction is that she didn't talk to him for three days. Women should never, ever, ever, ever, do the not talking thing. I don't care how much he has upset you. It's childish and stupid so just don't do it!Quote:
Originally Posted by rubah
You're not going to get an apology because the guy will have no idea that he did anything wrong, or if he does realise this from the whole not talking thing, he won't realise what it is. Just straight out tell him what he did was wrong and why, and then if he has any decency he'll apologise. Yeah yeah not talking to him to punish him blah blah blah...save the pair of you some annoyance and wasted days by being up front.
Oh what a serious post. What I meant to say was ha ha ha who gave women the vote? Ho ho ho hee hee hee.
Raebus is right, unfortunately we can't get women to understand they're crazy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raebus
Yeah. Anyone who does the not talking thing is immature. Hux and I are both really really bad at hiding our feelings, so whenever we're upset with each other, we just outright say what the other did wrong, and we fix it there. And even if we're mad at each other and need to take some off from speaking to each other to cool down, we still always say we love each other before we go. And because of that, we rarely fight.Quote:
Originally Posted by PsychoticWell, I think my only problem with her reaction is that she didn't talk to him for three days. Women should never, ever, ever, ever, do the not talking thing. I don't care how much he has upset you. It's childish and stupid so just don't do it!Quote:
Originally Posted by rubah
You're not going to get an apology because the guy will have no idea that he did anything wrong, or if he does realise this from the whole not talking thing, he won't realise what it is. Just straight out tell him what he did was wrong and why, and then if he has any decency he'll apologise. Yeah yeah not talking to him to punish him blah blah blah...save the pair of you some annoyance and wasted days by being up front.
Oh what a serious post. What I meant to say was ha ha ha who gave women the vote? Ho ho ho hee hee hee.
"Oh what a serious post. What I meant to say was ha ha ha who gave women the vote? Ho ho ho hee hee hee"
Hahahahaha
This thread delivers.
Apply advices given here but also keep in mind your girlfriend's personality i.e: level of grovelling required/sincerity or lies? will vary depending on her as a person. Pretty much everyone here has it right, just keep her personality/mood in the front of your mind when you make your move.
Or, Harle-Quin
I approve!Quote:
Originally Posted by Harle-Quin
My boyfriend wouldn't get the silent treatment, I would go "Well if you wanna smurf her so bad, then how about I break up with you, you go smurf her, and see how things work out between us later, KAY?"
and then shortly after saying that he would melt and be all sad until I hug him. Thus, making me still a winner.
He must have had an inkling of what he did wrong otherwise he wouldn't have know what to make this thread about.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
We also don't know whether or not there was any talking going on between the two of them because Dr. Casey has not posted much in this thread to give us more background into the situation. Maybe she did tell him why she wasn't talking to him (or at least told him why she was upset). If he still feels that he did nothing wrong or try to apologize in any way then three days is not much. It would also give me a red flag warning that I'll have more of the same ahead of me if I continue on with the relationship.
I'd like to respond to everyone's posts, but that's a bit unmanageable at this point. Many thanks for the comments, everyone. We sorted things out yesterday. She demanded that I delete every messenger conversation I've ever had with Sarah and rip up any picture I owned with her in there (though she allowed me to just cut out certain portions for photographs I really cared for), but all things considered that's not such a bad punishment - when I have the only girl I care about back, what else really matters? I know perfectly well not to do anything like this again, though. What a headache this whole episode was. She made me apologize so many times that I think my voice box is sore.
I miss the days when the male of any relationship wouldn't cave into to a woman. All he had to do was point to a kitchen or make some kind of food sign and she'd obey willingly and make him a sammich. The good old days.
I'm glad to hear that all is well again, Dr. Casey. :)
Now that is going overboard. Yikes!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
I'd have to agree, but let's not get into that. They've sorted things out and that's what matters.Quote:
Originally Posted by MirielNow that is going overboard. Yikes!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Heh, I just need to comment on the 'if your girlfriend did this to you you would be angry too' deal.
Really it wouldn't even phase me. Being a guy and all I can understand the 'man I wish I had taken it while I had a chance' deal. In addition at least most guys I know would mean it jokingly. Sounds mostly like Dr. Casey here was treating her like 'one of the guys' The only real effect it would have on me is a double take on their morals(ie. someone who seriously means that is probably looser sexually than I am... however, that isn't enough to make me dump a person. I would simply note it down for future reference).
I do have one thing to say about the ending of this though. I really must raise my eyebrows at the response she has. She must be VERY insecure. Not sure that type of woman would be the kind I could deal with. Not that I can deal with most types of women anyways.
Oh and one last note. Psy, it doesn't matter whether your male or female.... people will be somewhat loathe to take advice from someone calling themselves "Psychotic". Well that or they will take your advice(not caring about gender or anything) because psychotic things are cool.:cool:
God Daniel has hair from some of his ex girlfriends, photos, teddys and more memories but I don't tell him to go and burn all his stuff. If I did he'd probably slap me or something and say that they are there for memories. I'm glad you have sorted things out but she has went a bit over the top imo. :mog:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
good for you then. don't ever do that again though ;)
Wow, that's a little dramatic. :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
I guess this is what happens when you speak your mind. . . *Takes notes*
That's a bit harsh and definitely overdramatic. Sounds like she's one of those jealous girlfriends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Woah. A touch harsh.
Ah, well. At least she's talking to you again.
I WAS RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME! You wait her out and see how crazy she is.Quote:
Originally Posted by duckieThat's a bit harsh and definitely overdramatic. Sounds like she's one of those jealous girlfriends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Holy crap.
What the crap. xD That's... extreme...
Dude, you're whipped now. Congratulations.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Forcing you to destroy your own personal possessions, especially ones that may contain fond memories is just cruel. Then again, you said something really stupid, but this is ridiculous now.
Jesus Christ she's a loon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunny
I would be very glad that she decided to forget!Quote:
I'd like to respond to everyone's posts, but that's a bit unmanageable at this point. Many thanks for the comments, everyone. We sorted things out yesterday. She demanded that I delete every messenger conversation I've ever had with Sarah and rip up any picture I owned with her in there (though she allowed me to just cut out certain portions for photographs I really cared for), but all things considered that's not such a bad punishment - when I have the only girl I care about back, what else really matters? I know perfectly well not to do anything like this again, though. What a headache this whole episode was. She made me apologize so many times that I think my voice box is sore.
And you had pictures of that girl? I understand that part, if my bf would have picstures of other girls on his comp I would kill him. But well she went a little far on the chats, but it was just to make sure ^^
Glad everything sorted out
With your insensitivity and her craziness, you could make a sitcom out of your relationship.
"Erase an entire part of your life because I am too insecure and jealous that I cannot even handle thinking about you remembering another girl other than me."
That seems incredibly understandable, yes. My girlfriend and I still discuss our old relationships to the point of reminiscing about them. Hell, she still talks with the first guy she was head-over-heels in love with. It's pretty outrageous for her to even suggest erasing an entire part of your life. And for you to go along with it in hopes that it makes everything better? They call that being whipped and dependent. And now she knows she can get whatever she wants out of you by being overdramatic.
My morally righteous half tells me that it's wrong of us to mock someone who means so much to Casey.
The one that actually views reality says crikey.
Okay, you did make a mistake, but it wasn't any more than a mistake. It was dumb and thoughtless; it does not warrant this kind of demand from her. She's being completely unfair to you now, tbh. I can understand doing it - in all honesty I would probably do it too - but that doesn't mean she's in the right.
I mean seriously. Cutting up pictures that are important to you? Even letting you keep the non-Sarah parts, they will be mutilated.
It's your call, man. Completely your call. If you think this is okay then more power to you, and I hope your relationship works out. But I think it's pretty extreme.
I have to stick up for the girlfriend here, to a point. Considering Dr. Casey's initial comment about Sarah, I too would want him to get rid of all of the pictures, etc. If they were still around both of them will be reliving this episode over and over again every time they see a picture of her. Dr. Casey's girlfriend might be a bit on the insecure side, but that also probably has a lot to do with Dr. Casey's actions. Such as the comment he made originally. Of course, being so insecure is not very healthy, but that is something that can be outgrown the more she get to trusts Dr. Casey.
I suppose you're right. Wise words, Leeza :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
Also, I like that the drama of this relationship has gotten us all worked up this much xD
I for one, can't agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by BreineI suppose you're right. Wise words, Leeza :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
Also, I like that the drama of this relationship has gotten us all worked up this much xD
1) If they are close enough that this incedent would piss her off so badly, then she should already be able to trust him enough not to make him do that, if not there are other problems to be adressed.
2) It is never right to demand someone remove something from their lives that may hold fond memories.
3) It's fun to be disagreeable. ^_^
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Manus
What I found to be wise, so to speak, in Leeza's post was that she made me see the situation from the girlfriend's point og view as well. Before that I also thought she totally overreacted, which may still be the case.. but at least now I understand her POV, and know that both Dr. Casey and his girlfriend are to blame for the drama in their relationship. Him for being insensitive (by making that remark about the other girl) and her for being insecure and kinda crazy.Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoCrackerI for one, can't agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by BreineI suppose you're right. Wise words, Leeza :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
Also, I like that the drama of this relationship has gotten us all worked up this much xD
1) If they are close enough that this incedent would piss her off so badly, then she should already be able to trust him enough not to make him do that, if not there are other problems to be adressed.
2) It is never right to demand someone remove something from their lives that may hold fond memories.
3) It's fun to be disagreeable. ^_^
I hope the two work it out in the end :)
I already understood her POV, but it doesn't make her any less out of line to me.
Personally, I'd dump her after that, but thats just me, and I'm one of the pickiest bastards I know.
So it's probably best to think about things a lot before doing what I do. :p
Killing her doesn't sound so bad now, does it? :goofy:
That's a shame that you had to do that D:
I just can't delete messenger conversations, even if I HATE that person D:
That is never a bad option.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
After something like that. I'd probably tell her to go screw off.
Me too. xPQuote:
Originally Posted by Jessweeee♪
Photos are precious. ESPECIALLY physical photos of which you do not have copies of. To me, forcing someone to burn photographs is one of the most heinous and incomprehensible things to demand. I know I have my own bouts of "psycho girlfriend" syndrome, but damn.
Cor blimey, I'm very much single but even I know that what you said was Epic Fail!
I'm male, but my internal male-to-female translator reads it as something like "I would've been able to nail that really hot chick if you hadn't have come along, which was a pity 'cos you're pretty ugly in comparison." (which true or not would be hurtful to anyone!)
Lying isn't necessary as some people in the thread seem to think, just don't reveal quite so much of the truth hehe.
Anyway glad to hear you've kind of made it up, although much of the blame can be apportioned on her part too as she sounds a bit of a psycho. Long as everyone's happy I suppose!
Sweet Jesus.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miriel
This spells BAD for Casey's girl if Miriel thinks she's nutty. :eek:
Oh psh, you know she's secretly adding this to her repertoire <3Quote:
Originally Posted by Harle-QuinSweet Jesus.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miriel
This spells BAD for Casey's girl if Miriel thinks she's nutty. :eek:
smurf yeah. this is the only smurfing thing in this smurfing thread that makes any smurfing sense. :greenie:Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuuky
Yeah if my Fiancee ever said that I would flip out!!!
http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/albums/...o-facepalm.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Casey
LOL
That could totally be a dialogue in a Tarantino's movie.
Anyway, a bit too sensitive i guess?
Your right hands could talk?