My Coliseum Wager Is An Elixir
Hello, my name is By Murder I Will Be Rydia. You might remember me from other threads such as Adding "X" To Your Name Is An Image Change and Can I Take That Back: My Name Sucks. Today, I will be extolling the virtues of getting a name change, how to do it, and why you should get one right now!
Did you know that names get stale? It is true! Everyday, millions of names get older and more boring, causing people to divorce, cease friendships, and kick children under the acceptable age of kicking! Old names often increase societal tension due to name recognition when it comes to grudges and family feuds, perhaps the number one reason society is decaying at such an alarming rate and homosexuals are procreating faster than rabbits! And that is not the end of it: the longer you keep a name, the more likely you are to develop a stock personality! That is right: your name becomes so familiar that you yourself are recognized and pigeonholed into stereotypical role that may or may not fit you! Nothing is less interesting than having people call out your next actions with accuracy!
New names have many benefits, the least of which is that you can become a babe magnet from a no-go within sixty seconds of having a new moniker! Why be StragoFan91 when you could be BalthierFan91; it shows you keep up with the times and know what sexy is! New names also release less gaseous toxins into the enviroment than older, less green names built back in 1990's when the only electric cars you could find ran on a child's play racetrack! You can seriously reduce your carbon footprint with a newer name; how cool is that? Getting a new name online is like getting a new face or haircut in the physical world; you do not always sport the same hairdo year after year, do you? Of course not, you trendy hip cool person you, so please do not treat your username the same! Watch compliments and comments come to you like they never have before; suddenly the friends you have not spoken with on Y! in over a year are messaging you like you never made that awkward comment about their sister!
Now after hearing all these rad and eye-opening facts regarding names both new and old, I can hear the question before it spills from your fingers: Hey, By Murder I Will Be Rydia, how do you get a name change? You might think this is difficult, but it is actually very simple! First, you have think of a totally sweet name! Then you send a Private Message to [Leeza] or [Del Murder] with a request to get your old prehistoric name switched out with your newer and healthier choice! If either of those really chill admins approve of it, and why would they not, then expect back a congratulatory PM and a newly minted username gleaming in the top right corner of the forum!
But just so you know, you can only abuse this ability once in a great forever, so do not badger like a badger if you get tired of a bad name choice! Think wisely when picking a new name that fits you!
(alternatively, discuss old usernames, fellow member's terrible name changes, or why the second b in BoB should be lowercase)
