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I am very immature and really seem to make too many perverted jokes. So, I made this thread.
Fakely flirt. Just joke around and act like you're flirting with people. I prefer you flirt with the opposite gender, unless you're homosexual/bisexual.
Like whenever someone posts in the thread, reply to them and flirt with them. Simple game with no structural (is that a word) format.
But obviously must start by flirting with me. :cool:
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
Bond. James Bond.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
Do you come here often?
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
How was heaven when you left it?
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
I have only three months to live. ..
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
Stand still so I can pick you up!
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
What's your sign?
Where have you been all my life?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
Wow.
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
I'm good at math. U I=69
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
Hey Christmas. Recognize this member? :jokey:
I suppose that's more sexual harassment.
Hey Christmas... erm, looking good.
I bet you $5 I won't kiss you. *kisses* Best $5 I ever spent.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can totally see me in your pants.
Hold on a second *puts on sunglasses* Sorry, your beauty was blinding me for a second there.
EDIT: Sorry I just realised I'm not even doing this right as per the thread rules. Whoops.
Jir o you dont play the by the rules.
I like that :cool: its a turn on
Justin, is it hot in here, or is that just you? :jokey:
Can I put my "gunblade" in your "garden" to plant a "SeeD"?
Hey Raistlin let's smurf.
Am I doing this right? :confused::confused:
If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes. :aimkiss:Quote:
Originally Posted by Moon Rabbits
Are you a dog lover? If so would you mind if this stray followed you home?;)
I'm not Baloki dude.
YouTube - CSI: Miami IntroQuote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Hey baby, I'm just like Calculus. I'm so hard you'll be doing me on your desk all night long. :hux:
Rye, I have a cake in the fridge and the legs of an Irishman. Come over?
Oh baby, you've just activated MY starpower!
...
Sorry, I've been playing Rock Band... >.>
Wanna take a ride on my disco stick?
Get me 5 cans of beans and we have a deal!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rantzien
Baby did you fart? 'Cos you blow me away!
On Topic: I'd smurf all of you, it's Christmas!
Hey baby do you know karate cause your body is kickin'! :smug:
If you were an elevator/escalator, I would go up and down you ALL THE TIME!
*New Rule*
You must tell the person what gender you are before they have to post.
i.e.
You are so fine girl.
Male
I'm Male
My hand hurts and I cant get this bra off. Could you help?
Hey baby, wanna mount my hard drive?
Thread over.Quote:
Originally Posted by o_O
Oh Moon baby, it ain't over till you make me sing ;)
Bah, no one flirts with me :p
That's just because I'm waiting for the roofie to kick in...
I mean....
Hello, I love you wont' you tell me your name.
NeoCracker has such a cute prehensile tail. And a cute non-prehensile t-.... nah xD j/k :P
Its because men are too intimidated by your intelligence, so instead they admire you from a distance. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Renmiri
NeoCracker: I don't need to flirt with you... get into bed now. :colbert:
You look tired. Want me to hold your breasts?
... I suck (could also be seen as a pick-up line, y'know).
Oh dear... Gotta fix that then.. I will study me some Sarah Palin speeches. That oughta down my IQ :p Also. You betcha.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf KannoIts because men are too intimidated by your intelligence, so instead they admire you from a distance. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Renmiri
Err.. you have to flirt with Wolf, and he has no breasts.. Not that we know of... :jess:Quote:
Originally Posted by Breine
I just killed your boyfriend. Need a hug?
Check again, men have breasts.Quote:
Err.. you have to flirt with Wolf, and he has no breasts.. Not that we know of...
Goldenboko, my love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't contain it.
Baby, you're like a student and I'm like a math book; you solve all my
problems~
You're an attractive woman. Here drink this, and lets go back to my place.
To me you're like Burger King and I'm McDonalds, you can have it your way and I'll be lovin' it. :jokey:
Hi! :wacky:
Hi Guardian XIII. I'd like you to let loose your throbbing member upon my person.
Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven, Quin? :3
*sexors newbie*
I miss typing that =)
Hey PG. How 'bout I make you an 18+? :jokey:
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
I've got glitter....
In my pants.
Melissa, you've been a bad girl! Go to my room! Now!
You must be an angel.. I've never seen a more heaven form than you....:cool: