Playing "Games"

I never have. I think that if you like someone you should be able to tell them without them thinking you're too easy to get.

However, my straight friend Casey says that game playing is essential to the courting process. People like to feel like they have to work to get you, he claims. And . . . it definitely works for him. He manages to get super hot girls that he has no business dating.

And my last bf told me that I came on a little too strong/much too soon, but he stuck with it because he hadn't met anyone else he liked.

So what do you guys say? Game playing? Is it the way to go? If you were really, really into someone and they made it obvious immediately that they were really really into you, would that be a turn off?

It's rooted in basic biological fact. Men have to compete for women, while women get their pick of suitors.

If a girl I am interested in plays a game with me, I lose interest and move on. I don't like wasting my time on petty crap.

I have difficulty fathoming why so many people put up with that crap.

He's right so far as my experience goes

Short of setting them up to take a fall and then being the rescuer, I have no idea what this really entails. I suppose this is why I suck at getting women :D

If this guy is talking about GAME as in PICK UP ARTISTRY as in like ROISSY IN DC type techniques, then punch him hard for me k :jess:

If not then yeah I guess most people find it more fun and interesting that way.

I don't play games. Lots of other gay boys do, I tend not to. Then again, I'm very single-minded, especially after ending my first LTR. That said, I'd rather just casually date different people than settle down with one right now.

I play L4D

Depends on the person and the situation, I suppose.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

It's rooted in basic biological fact. Men have to compete for women, while women get their pick of suitors.

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What the smurf biology class are you taking.

Sorry, I wasn't more specific.

It's mainly stuff like how long to wait to call after the first date and stuff. Casey insists that you have to give off an air of complete indifference. And to avoid calling the person for "as long as possible" and such. I'm no good at that stuff. If I'm interested, I want to let the person know. But that almost always comes off as too eager, I think.

The whole notion of playing games is revolting to me.

But I can't help thinking that might be why I fell so hard for my last ex . . . there was such a sense of complete indifference coming from their side that I thought for sure there was no interest. Turns out we were both very interested . . . I was just the eager one. Hmph.

Trust your gut feeling. Go with your instincts. It's hard to give you some direct rules that'll always work because it doesn't work like that. Every person wants something different, so some like people to be eager and some are more turned on by the whole indifferent thing.

It's not easy, least of all because you get emtionally involved. But hey, if you're coming off as too eager the person will probably tell you about it - or if they don't, you're sure to eventually find out yourself. I don't know.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what happens it's a learning experience. You learn as you get more experienced.

There's a difference between "playing games" and using tact when dealing with people. When I started dating my husband I fell for him pretty fast and hard, but I know if I just went in full-force I would have scared him off. Refraining from calling him every time I wanted to wasn't me playing a game, it was me not coming on too strong. Like you said, Bastian, coming off as too eager is a problem, depending on who you're dealing with.

I admit I'm involved in a bit of a "game," I suppose, right now. I don't really want to go into details because it's a long freaking story, but suffice it to say that one of my girl friends likes one of my guy friends but he isn't attracted to her, so she needs to play it slow and see if they can get to know each other before she lets her feelings be known at all or she's going to get shot down before he realizes what he's missing because, being the idiot that he is, he thinks a relationship needs to start with physical attraction to be worth his time. Which is probably a big part of the reason why he's never had a girlfriend at nearly 27-years-old.

I think there's a certain strategy, but intentionally playing mind games is kind of obnoxious. But, I mean, there's a lot of things you should strategically do to not come on so strong that you freak them out, but do enough that you show interest.

imo.

Game playing? Is it the way to go?
No.

If you were really, really into someone and they made it obvious immediately that they were really really into you, would that be a turn off?

Hells no. That makes no sense to me.

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Originally Posted by Shiny

If you were really, really into someone and they made it obvious immediately that they were really really into you, would that be a turn off?

Hells no. That makes no sense to me.

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I don't know what the heck is wrong with me 'cause i'm really, really into someone and they made it pretty obvious that they're really into me but I STILL KEEP PLAYING THE GODDAMN GAME!

>>> I dont like to waste time in that stuff, i dont have luck with girls anyways..:luca:

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Originally Posted by Moon Rabbits

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

It's rooted in basic biological fact. Men have to compete for women, while women get their pick of suitors.

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What the smurf biology class are you taking.

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Life.

I must fail at life then, because I have never competed for a woman in my entire life.

Then you must go after ugly chicks.

Nope, just smart ones.

I usually wait for a day before I call back a girl I like..She usually ends up texting me beforehand :3...

I'm currently seeing this gal I really like. She had a bf from bf but that fizzled... We were intially going get together for a lil dvd watching.... I ended up staying the night at her place....:D

Anyhow I've met the one other time after that. She's a corporate gal ( she looks hot in a suit) so right now she's out of country over a conference. so we've been texting each other mostly.But we'll be meeting up on Wednesday!



Its not about playing games but rather if the chemistry between one person to another. So if you really dig a guy an a girl...Go for it.. WHo says you have follow a code of conduct... I certainly don't tell my mates in ignoring a potential date unless she is a psycho..Which has happened.

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Originally Posted by Bunny

Nope, just smart ones.

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I've never met any girl that didn't have at least a couple guys that were into her.

Hey, guys, Final Fantasy has become pretty mainstream in terms of gaming, so maybe some of you new guys know more about women than how to get the Excalibur II and I would like your input! How do you attract the ladies; I have a feeling equipping an Enemy Lure materia just is not going to cut it! I hear playing games always helps, but I have been playing Triple Triad to no success! Is there a Square-Enix dating sim which can help me with improving my lady appeal stat?!

If I really have to play a game, I can't be in the relationship for the most part. It drives me nuts. If you can't take all of me, you get nothing.

Depends on what you call 'games', really.

I've taken girls out on dates, sent flowers, written them letters, done all sorts of things. I like the idea that I have to show my feelings. If there was a girl that would just say "okay" to the first bloke who came along saying "I like you, you should be my girlfriend", then it's probably not the kind of girl I'm into. I like the kind of girl that has to know that she's dealing with the right guy. And yeah, I enjoy proving that I am that guy. It's worked for me and I've been told that I regularly get girls who are way "out of my league". So if you mean games that involve showing your feelings, then okay.

Then there are the "treat them mean, keep them keen" games which are just there to keep the girl interested which can work for other people. Good for them. Not my thing.

I think it depends on the person. Some people prefer straight up honesty, some prefer a bit more tact and subtlety. I think I prefer being given the straight approach. I've had games played with me and well, it works too, but god damn if it doesn't drive me completely insane.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Bunny

Nope, just smart ones.

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I've never met any girl that didn't have at least a couple guys that were into her.

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What. Where the hell do you live? A town with three women in it?

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Bunny

Nope, just smart ones.

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I've never met any girl that didn't have at least a couple guys that were into her.

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Maybe you should reevaluate the girls that you go for.

So here's the skinny: the "industry standard" is to wait three days after a first date to call or text the person. So what's the "industry standard" for how long you should wait after you have called or texted the person for them to call or text you back?

The only game-ish thing I do is to avoid hanging out with them too much or calling too often, but that has more to do with me not wanting them to think I'm annoying than me trying to entice them.

Yes, I have. But these aren't the games that either side should be content on winning.

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Originally Posted by Bastian

So here's the skinny: the "industry standard" is to wait three days after a first date to call or text the person. So what's the "industry standard" for how long you should wait after you have called or texted the person for them to call or text you back?

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I don't play those kind of games at all. Not a day has gone by since we met that Danielle and I have not been in touch.

I've played games aparently but never deliberately. I wouldn't call a girl back the next day sometimes but but by deliberately resisting the urge, just because I couldn'ty be arsed with it for a few days. I've also apparently played 'hard to get' when really I've been too laid back to bother with the signs the dumb woman was throwing my way. When I'm on point though, I usually get what I want.

Once you start that game :bou::bou::bou::bou: you start to lose sight of what you really wanted in the first place & get caught up in the pretence.

Be yourself because if you plan to be with the person longer than a month they'll start to realise you aren't what it said on the tin.

Rye: You want to 'play' twister!...:jokey:Hux can join too...if he wants to that is....

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Originally Posted by Moon Rabbits

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Bunny

Nope, just smart ones.

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I've never met any girl that didn't have at least a couple guys that were into her.

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What. Where the hell do you live? A town with three women in it?

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No a big ass city.

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Originally Posted by Bunny

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Bunny

Nope, just smart ones.

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I've never met any girl that didn't have at least a couple guys that were into her.

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Maybe you should reevaluate the girls that you go for.

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Met, not went after. Secondly, how does that reflect at all upon the women? Should I define you based on who likes you?

Somewhat Related

I was already in a relationship, but I wasn't getting any attention. I've been lonely ever since my brother died, so I tend to be rather needy. My current girlfriend... I basically made her chase me.