I had a lot of the same sentiments as you when I went into the market for my MP3 player recently.
I went with the Sansa Fuze.
I am very happy with it. It is a drag and drop device, so you can throw your music on it just like you're throwing it onto a flash drive--no need for ass iTunes style software. Battery life is great. It is small and stylish. Expandable with up to 16GB of Micro SDHC memory.
Unfortunately item 3 on your list is still a problem on this device, and every other device that I know of. It is truly a shame, I also think that meta data is a terrible way to categorize music.
I did a lot of research hunting down this device, and I think it is the closest you're going to get to your listed ideals. The best part is that
Woot constantly sells these things for dirt cheap (I got mine for like $30), just check every day.