before u came my love was broke then it fixed

Sorry if this offends anyone. I think it's hilarious.

Today on my friend's bus, a folded piece of notebook paper fell from a black kid's pocket onto the ground. My friend picked it up and unfolded it, finding then that it was a love poem to the kid's girlfriend. It was horrible. I know that the content of the poem was serious because my friend read it aloud to the rest of the bus and the kid who wrote it was very, very embarrassed. I don't condone the reading. I just think the content of the poem is funny as hell.

The entire thing was written in lower-case half-English. I can't remember all of it, but there were a few key parts that stuck out:

"before u came my love was broke
then it fixed"

"u got a nice head
cuz its all curly"

And my favourite:

"if a smurf nigga wit u
a smurf nigga get gon kill"

I really wish I could remember more. Discuss this poem and other examples of horrible poetry.

Kgo

AHHAAAAAHAHAAAHAHAH xDD


Super bonus points for anyone who reads their bad poetry finds aloud!

Ha, that's hilarious! Poor kid. At least it was thoughtful?

Yeah, bad poetry sucks!

:cry:

What. The. smurf.

Those quotes make brain hurt my. :(

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Originally Posted by demondude55

Yeah, bad poetry sucks!

:cry:

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I'll be nice today :p

The "u got a nice head, cuz its all curly" line is the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Poor illiterate kid, that's so embarrassing that your friend read it out loud. I hope it doesn't discourage him from trying to be romantic in the future.

.... I have no words to describe my amusement...


Do you suppose that this phrase 'first friendship then sex' ever came up in the poem as well..


Don't ask me why cause I'll have to explain then and I really don't want to.

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Originally Posted by Rodarian

.... I have no words to describe my amusement...


Do you suppose that this phrase 'first friendship then sex' ever came up in the poem as well..


Don't ask me why cause I'll have to explain then and I really don't want to.

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Explain.

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Originally Posted by qwertysaur

Quote:

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Originally Posted by demondude55

Yeah, bad poetry sucks!

:cry:

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I'll be nice today :p

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I won't

Bad poetry: Oh noetry

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Originally Posted by Shoeberto

Bad poetry: Oh noetry

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xD

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if it was "u got a nice head" or "u got a pretty head," but I seem to think nice.

God, I wish I could remember more of it.
;_;

Go look at anything I ever posted in the Writer's Corner ;}

That guy has the most amazing haiku in him, just waiting to burst out.

I think this is a stunning example of cruelty and racial bigotry; way to be friends with a douche who invades other people's privacy and flaunts it, and way to go with mentioning the color of his skin as if it had bearing on the story! Poor writers can be of any color or creed, and I am more interested in how juvenile your peer seems to be; are you not coming out of high school?! I am all for mocking bad poetry, but if the writer is not sharing it, why the hell is anyone doing reading it?!

I will read something later in an attempt to play nice, but I, for one, am offended!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Genius Lynx

I think this is a stunning example of cruelty and racial bigotry; way to be friends with a douche who invades other people's privacy and flaunts it, and way to go with mentioning the color of his skin as if it had bearing on the story! Poor writers can be of any color or creed, and I am more interested in how juvenile your peer seems to be; are you not coming out of high school?! I am all for mocking bad poetry, but if the writer is not sharing it, why the hell is anyone doing reading it?!

I will read something later in an attempt to play nice, but I, for one, am offended!

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I hope this isn't sarcasm but I thought the same thing ... I just didn't say anything because I bitch about everything and didn't feel like it this time. >_>

Gah, that's not what this is about! I said that I didn't condone his reading of the poem, and mentioning the colour of his skin did have an impact on the story; it could have been assumed by the use of slang, but I wanted to be absolutely clear that no one would have to do that.

Laugh and be merry, Lynxie! The author of the poem was not in bad spirits after he recovered from his temporary embarrassment, and the relationship between him and my friend is absolutely fine. Also, tell us about mocking bad poetry!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Genius Lynx

I think this is a stunning example of cruelty and racial bigotry; way to be friends with a douche who invades other people's privacy and flaunts it, and way to go with mentioning the color of his skin as if it had bearing on the story! Poor writers can be of any color or creed, and I am more interested in how juvenile your peer seems to be; are you not coming out of high school?! I am all for mocking bad poetry, but if the writer is not sharing it, why the hell is anyone doing reading it?!

I will read something later in an attempt to play nice, but I, for one, am offended!

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Eh, some people feel like race affects the context of "nigga."

This only proves that your school needs a better English department.

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Originally Posted by Mogi

and mentioning the colour of his skin did have an impact on the story; it could have been assumed by the use of slang

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Really now...how do you figure that? :greenie:

Why Mogi your friend sounds like a real jerk for reading something that wasn't his to read and even out loud! I feel sorry for the kid who wrote the poem and maybe that is romantic, sometimes it doesn't need to be perfect as long as his girlfriend appreciates the time he put in it.

Thy trout slaps
Mogi in thee face
Since good sir
you have been a disgrace!
Take that poetry! Mwahaha... :trout:

If you don't condone the reading, why are you posting it into here and wishing you could remember more? :p

I think bad poetry with good intentions such as this is sweet and romantic more than most poetry out there is. It has far more meaning behind most stuff out there, and I hope the girl liked it.

I thought the curly hair line was really cute.

>Implying that there exists good poetry

I love how it starts off romantic, but turns into a battle rap

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Originally Posted by Shiny

This only proves that your school needs a better English department.

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My school needs a new everything. They're tearing it down soon. Not even kidding.

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Originally Posted by Shiny

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mogi

and mentioning the colour of his skin did have an impact on the story; it could have been assumed by the use of slang

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Really now...how do you figure that? :greenie:

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Well, it could be taken completely differently context if one had assumed that he was white or asian!

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Originally Posted by Smitten Kitten

Why Mogi your friend sounds like a real jerk for reading something that wasn't his to read and even out loud! I feel sorry for the kid who wrote the poem and maybe that is romantic, sometimes it doesn't need to be perfect as long as his girlfriend appreciates the time he put in it.

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He really is a jerk, but everyone at my school loves him anyway. I'm not quite sure how that works out.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Smitten Kitten

Thy trout slaps
Mogi in thee face
Since good sir
you have been a disgrace!
Take that poetry! Mwahaha... :trout:

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Why such violence ;_;

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Originally Posted by BoB

If you don't condone the reading, why are you posting it into here and wishing you could remember more? :p

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No one else here knows the kid who wrote it, so I think that it's not nearly the same.

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Originally Posted by BoB

I think bad poetry with good intentions such as this is sweet and romantic more than most poetry out there is. It has far more meaning behind most stuff out there, and I hope the girl liked it

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I agree with you completely. Also, he didn't give it to her. A few people on his bus are helping him rewrite it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

I thought the curly hair line was really cute.

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And this is why I wish I could remember more. There was a lot of other content like this. There were sunsets and moonsets, but I can't remember how they were written in.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Manus

I love how it starts off romantic, but turns into a battle rap

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Most of it had that romantic undertone to it; the more violent lines came out of nowhere here and there.

Rewrite it? Help? Urgh, takes away the romance and personal feeling! Should've just given it to her as is. Means more that way. :D

I agree with you, but regardless of what happened or will happen, the content of the original poem was hilarious.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Rodarian

.... I have no words to describe my amusement...


Do you suppose that this phrase 'first friendship then sex' ever came up in the poem as well..


Don't ask me why cause I'll have to explain then and I really don't want to.

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Explain.

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:eep:
Basically that phrase amounts rendezvous at motels

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Originally Posted by Shiny

This only proves that your school needs a better English department.

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Agree

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Originally Posted by Old Manus

I love how it starts off romantic, but turns into a battle rap

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Hahaha, yeah. Wtf is up with that. xD

I feel bad for laughing at it, but it is funny. I feel mostly bad for the kid because the reading it aloud to everyone in the bus was not cool either way.

For all we know it couldve been a draft or a stream of conciousness brain storm. And now youve secretly ruined a kid's desire to express himself. Sure he wont say thats what happened aloud, BUT THATS WHAT YOUVE DONE.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

I thought the curly hair line was really cute.

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Curly hair is hawt.
That poem was not.

Was awful but he's still a long way to go to match the mighty William McGonagall.

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Originally Posted by Mo-Nercy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

I thought the curly hair line was really cute.

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Curly hair is hawt.
That poem was not.

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xD
I don't condone the reading aloud but Mogi is right that the poem is epic in its hilarity.