EVIL GENIE

Be an evil genie, grant the wish above you in an unexpected or negative way, then post your own wish!


I wish for the ability to fly!

*turns HC into a moth *

I wish to have an unlimited supply of cheese pizza!

You are now a wood dwelling species of cockroach, perfectly capable of flight :bigsmile:

damn, beaten. You're pizza's are made with rancid cheese.

I wish I could dunk :(

What does drinking sewage have to do with being able to dunk? =S

Sorry, I thought you said drunk, ok......
You can dunk 400 dohnuts a day!!!!

I wish to be an avatar

Granted, you are the avatar of an inactive member. You can't move or say or do anything and have to watch all the other avatars go out and have fun while you set there and do nothing forever.

I wish I had Ice cream!

Wish granted. You have several buckets of ice cream. Unfortunately you are stuck in an inescapable cage in the middle of the Dasht-e Lut desert. The ice cream is just outside the cage, beyond your reach.

I wish I lived forever.

You're an immortal jellyfish, no one likes you.

I wish this wish wouldn't be granted.

You cease to exist.

I want the strength of 1,000 men.

http://reluctantoptimist.files.wordp...teve-urkel.jpg x1000

I wish I wish i had a fish

You wish that you wish you had a fish? granted, you now wish you had a fish and your unrequited longing drives you to suicide.

I wish we had the Chrono Trigger Forum back

Done. Unfortunately you are now blind and can't see the forum. Too bad.

I wish I had more money!

Granted, but you spend it all replaces stolen buttons.

I wish I had a roomful of foxy redheads. :jokey:

Granted. I put you in a room full of matches.

http://blogs.news.com.au/images/uplo...fety_match.jpg

I wish to be a banana!

Granted, you now have a single banana. Unfortunately, you are allergic to bananas.

I wish people loved me :(

Granted. Now you no longer have any peace and quiet, and are continuously followed everywhere you go. Also people take your things because it smells just like you.

I wish I was smarter!

You are now so smart that everybody comes to you with their problems and you have discovered the end of the world is on your birthday.

I wish for a PS3

Granted, but the limitless knowledge you now have drives you insane (ala H.P. Lovecraft).

You have a broken and unrepairable PS3.

I wish for infinite wishes!

Granted, but every time you reach a multiple of 3 in your wishes, your previous wishes disappear, and you cant wish for that not to happen, cause it is a genie rule!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar

You are now so smart that everybody comes to you with their problems and you have discovered the end of the world is on your birthday.

---

I already knew this :o

PS I wish somebody would wish for something as there is no current wish

Someone wishes for you to become a maggot.

I wish I had a delicious bowl of ice cream that I can eat whenever I want.

You can eat the bowl, but not the ice cream, the bowl is fart flavored

I wish for a fish

My wish was to eat the ice cream and that it had to be delicious. :colbert:

I'll do both then :p
Mullet:

You have the most delicious ice cream ever, but instead of a bowl you get it in a cone, and the ice cream has melted AND someone just bit off the bottom. Additionally for some strange reason someone is playing the trumpet near you, but that random person is terrible so it sounds like a duck with laryngitis. :|

Cactuar:
You get hit in the face with a trout, now you smell like tuna and seagulls are trying to eat your face. :trout:

I wish it to randomly rain Chocolate chip cookies on all of the forum skins for a couple days :p

It rains so heavy that you can't read or interact with the forums.

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head.

Your eyes are now on the back of your head, you can only see behind you now.

I wish I had a billion dollars in US currency in the current economic state.

1 billion dollars have been stolen from all the major banks in the US and deposited into your bank account. A massive manhunt has been initiated for your capture.

I wish my cat had two tails.

Granted, but now it has no head. And is racist.

I wish Mullet's cat wasn't such a freaking racist. :(

He's no longer racist, but he became misogynist, anti-semitic and hates handicapped people

I wish I could divide by 0

Granted, you stop existing.

I wish it would snow. It's too damn hot!

You are now dead, buried under an immense mountain of snow that only effected the area you currently inhabit. The rest of the world and area surrounding you are fine and alive.

My wish is twofold. I wish for a glass of water while also wishing that absolutely nothing was wrong with this wish and I simply received a glass of water like I wished for.

You receive a glass of sewage water, there is nothing wrong with your wish. That was a twofer ;)

I wish that I had access to a bank account with an unlimited supply of money in it.

You are a banker, your favorite client is bill gates. You have access into his funds, but the day before you were going to empty it into 371 hidden accounts, gates dies and he willed all of his money to britney spears, who withdraws it, goes to the bank restroom with it, and comes back pennyless and bald.

I wish he had wished for a tutu

Granted. He wished for a tutu, you granted it and he got a tutu that turned him into an evil ballerinathat wants to kill you. He will be coming after you forever, you will be on the run for the rest of your life.

I wish I was hypoallergenic :(

Granted. But now everybody hates you, and they all spend every second of their sniffy existing glaring at you through their watery eyes.

I wish I had some decent music to listen to.

Done. But you have become deaf, and the frustration of not being able to hear your decent music has driven you to insanity.

I wish I had a seal!

lol, driven me to insanity.

Granted. But it's this seal. :(

I wish I had a pet crocodile called Gary who would ferry me to work and back and never ever harm me. He can also talk. :heart:

Granted. You have all of those things. Unfortunately you die from a heart attack in the middle of your first trip to work and Gary eats everyone surrounding your corpse because the spell is broken. The cops aren't sure if he was protecting your body from those who would do it harm or if he was just being a regular crocodile named Gary. Regardless, they kill Gary and burn your corpses together, to prevent further atrocities that may occur when either of you are around.

I wish a thousand years of undeniable horrors for anyone who grants this wish and all wishes that follow it.

I'm so evil that I don't even grant your wish, and kill your loved ones instead.

I wish I had the self restraint to stay away from this thread.

Done, but now you have the self-restraint to keep you away from everything you love or enjoy, rendering your life empty and void of happiness.

I wish someone would do all my exams for me and get As.

Granted. But your cheating is found out and you get booted out of uni. Then you end up on the streets, selling your wares for food and the occasional scissorkick.

I wish Bunny would post nude pics of himself in EVERY THREAD ON EOFF. :bigsmile:

Done, but he puts the camera really really far away so you can only kind of see a pink looking shape in the distance.

I wish Quin wasn't such a paedo :(

Granted, but now you have my collection. You're found with it by the Police before you can dispose of it, and are arrested. Female prison stuff happens. You come out a broken woman.

I wish we lived in an age where a man could guilt his five year old wife into bed without fear of ridicule or punishment.

Quote:

---

I'm so evil that I don't even grant your wish, and kill your loved ones instead.

---

Genies are compelled to grant wishes, regardless of how evil they are. You are not a genie, you are a fraud. I demand a rewish.

Granted. You are transported to a dimension where everyone is a pedophile but you. Unfortunately, not being a pedophile is against the law and punishable by death. You are caught and tortured by angry adolescents with a penchant for hurting older men.

I wish Quin's wish for me to post naked pictures of myself on the internet was negated and replaced with him posting upclose naked pictures of himself on the internet.

I'm only a genie on my mothers side, and I don't do re-wishes.

Granted. But BoB deletes all trace of them, bans you and everyone else who caught a glimpse, and then makes a graph explaining his actions.

I wish for world peace!

WHY DID I GET BANNED WHAT THE HELL?!

Granted, Mars is peaceful.

I wish for several solutions to one specific problem.

Do not incur the wrath of either Evil Genie or BoB. And I also want a refund from the person who said that I'd been granted the self restraint to stay away from this thread.

Granted, your worst enemy has been brainstorming ways to destroy you, and they have suddenly thought of many different ideas.

I wish for something evil to happen.

Granted. The person that granted you self restraint is revoking it :doublecolbert: You will now become a slob, deteriorating in front of this thread for all eternity.

I wish I had a time machine.

Granted, it's bed shaped and can only move forward at 6 hour incruments and needs a 12 hour charge. Also you need to lay in it awhile before it kicks in. Comes with free visions of alternate universes.

I wish I could breathe underwater as well as dry land.

Granted. You are now a frog. Cirno is going to freeze you though...

I wish the missing ______ are all found and returned

Granted, all the ________ are all found and returned. Mad Libs are all filled in and party goers are bored. And tests are all answered and students all pass everything forever and the world grows dumber. The Big Brain am winning again!

I wish I was one of the 2/3 that don't shatter when frozen.

Granted, you implode instead, creating a blackhole that eats your lunch money.

I wish that everyone was an admin

Granted. The member 'everyone' was made an admin and the site was burned to the ground in the ensuing riot.

I wish I had one of those.

Granted. You now have an ensuing riot inside your bedroom.

I wish grapefruits were more delicious.

Granted, but you're now allergic and suffer intense allergic reactions from the mere sight of grapefruit.

I wish I was good at kung fu!

Done, but someone better at kung fu comes along and beats you up anyway.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of Nutella.

Granted, your supply covers the entire universe and drowns everyone, eventually becoming an omnipotent being that solves pi.

I wish that jackie chan had a unibrow, that was unshavable

Granted. You also have no eyes, so you can't see it.

I wish for data that entails what exactly happens beyond the event horizon of a black hole without having to go there myself :p

Granted, but it's result BLOWS YOUR MIND. (hint: fireninjas abound)

I wish I hadn't eaten so much. :(

Granted, your entire life you have been hungry, barely eating enough to survive. You are now a sliver of a man.

I wish I had complete happiness.

Granted, but as soon as you reach it you realise there is nothing else to achieve. Now you're miserable in ecstacy. :(

I wish I could speak to animals! :jess:

Done. They all hate you and say really mean things to you. Except for seals, but they make you uncomfortable because they're borderline perverts.

I wish my room was tidy.

Granted. Everything in your room disappears.

I wish I knew kung-fu.

Granted. Unfortunately, on your way to a kung-fu tournament you get in a car accident and lose both your legs, one harm, sight in your left eye and the use of your penis. Tragic but necessary.

I wish everyone shared my allergy to grapefruits.

Granted. Everyone in the world begins talking about (sharing) your allergy to grapefruits. And the entire world finds it humourous.

I wish I had the use of my penis back after the unfortunate turn of events from my previous wish.

Granted, but then it grows a mind of its own and decides it's better off without you and pursues a career as a talk show host. You should have just got the surgery.

I wish I didn't shave this morning.

Granted, by getting a head start on the day you cause a chain of events that lead to you being raped by a horse right before being ran over by a train that was hijacked by a resurrected Hitler brain in bear.

I wish I could memorize Pi.

Granted. You memorize Pi and subsequently forget everything else. Like how to breath.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted. However You also are now mute, so you can never use those wishes. Also a porcupine ate all your food :(

I wish for a sammich :p

Granted, but instead of you getting a sammich a sammich got you, and you got eaten.

I wish I had a soda.

Granted. You have a Diet Pepsi.

I wish NorthernChaosGod was no longer mute and nothing bad ever happened to him again. Or me, for that matter.

Bunny wins the 'Truly Evil Genie' award.

NCG is no longer mute and bad stuff never happens to you guys. You're in a loving relationship together now and are looking at china patterns for your wedding.

I wish I had a good wish to wish for.

You wish you were a jedi, and subsequently become a jedi, and then die after an admin (possibly, but not necessarily, BoB) issues order 66 (you also never got a chance to do anything cool with your new found powers).

I wish a I was playing Red Dead Redemption right now :(

Granted, you are playing it as an actual character in the game, unfortunately there are no extra lives, and you push your luck trying to reach an easter egg that is on the other side of a valley, and you don't have the ability to fly. You would survive the 12 story fall if some newb didnt get a lucky sniper shot. But he did.

I wish for all aquaman comics to be thrown into the sun.
[btw, if you cant corrupt this one, go home]

Granted, they get thrown at the newspaper The Sun and nothing much happens. Just a bit of mess.

I wish Cactuar would forgive me for ruining his mad libs :(

Granted, You are foriven, but now you are cursed to go to sleep in the next 82 hours.
or eat a bug on tuesday.

I wish the aquaman comics had put out the sun

Granted. Now we all freeze to death. Nice one, Cactuar :colbert:

I wish I wasn't so lazy!

Granted. But now you work yourself to death.

I wish every sentence in the below post rhymed with the one that came before.

Granted, it does.

I wish you were poket fuzz

Granted, but he's your pocket fuzz. :mwahaha:

I wish I had the power of invisibility.

You are now invisible, but also silent, you sneek into the girls locker room and get locked in because you didnt leave fast enough. really bad news: it was the last day of school

I wish for a dancing cactuar avatar

Granted. James Cameron gives you full control of the scripting for his sequel to the film Avatar.

I wish I had a better immune system (I have a cold).

Granted, you have a full immunity to everything.
In fact, your immune system is so thorough that it kills anything that is not perfect:
antibiotics, dead cells, blood cells that arent perfect circles........

I wish his avatar was a happy prune!

Granted. If Mo ever gets his own Avatar it will resemble a prune and have a perma-smile. Truly, he will be the ugliset Pandoran who ever lived.

Okay, I wish I had every super-power in the history of comic-bookdom.

Granted. But unknowingly all the powers come with all the weaknesses. You decide to first test your new Aqua Man powers and because of One Pieces' devils fruit side effect of paralysis when submerged in water, you are stuck underwater for all eternity.

I wish I had the super power of hydrokinesis (Control over water) :p

Granted, you now have the power of hydrokenesis... as does everyone else in the world..... you can now not even go pee without your own "water" hitting you in the face.

I wish harry potter and Voldemort were girls, and instead of a magic duel, they had a slap fight

Granted. Imprisioned in the Magi Jail, you are with all us other gamers but you can only play the game Street Fighter of Chun Li vs. E. Honda on easy mode in solitary confinement.

I wish this wish was unknowable by everyone but me.

You didnt answer my question

And you can't grant my wish.

When I first played Street Fighter I thought E. Honda was a girl until the first game. He has a thousand hand slap on Chun Li who has upside down twirl kick.

I think that's what Harry Potter and Voldemort would tranform themselvs into if they wanted to be slap-fighting girls.

I'm kind of lost... Is the last wish still ungranted?

smurf it, we're starting again.

I wish I had a 1971 Plymouth HemiCuda in mint conditon and nothing happened to affect my ability to drive.

Fine. You walk out your house to get to your car and a piano drops out of the sky and, oh no, right onto it.

I wish I had all the time in the world!

Granted, you have time stoppy powers. But you can't control it happens randomly and when you touch stuff during time suspension it causes a lot of friction and it will burst into flame.

I wish I had a maid.

Granted. You have a minute maid. It'll cost you an arm and a leg to afford her because she charges cleaning by the minute. It is costly.

I wish you had a heart.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Greatermaximus

I wish you had a heart.

---

Granted. He has your heart, which of course means you die.

I wish to be surrounded by attractive girls who are attractied to me :cool:

(Shallow? Pretty much, I'm intrigued to see how this one's "corrupted"...)

Wish granted. You are no surrounded by attractive girls, all of which are attractive to you. Unfortunately, the wish also changed what you found attractive and all of the women weigh several hundred pounds and hide chicken wings between their rolls of fat.

I wish I had a super power.

Granted. Your super power is that your skin is covered in a strange glow-in-the-dark bullet-proof goop, which carries with it the perpetual aroma of dog vomit. Your hair is also covered in this goop which imbues your locks with a Rapunzel-esque strength, enabling you to use your hair as a kind of goopy rope, etc. This means, of course, that your hair will be impossible to cut with any human technology and so may become quite unmanageable after a while.

I wish I could play the trumpet like Dizzy Gillespie.

granted, but it turns out he plays silent and uses recordings. your first gig is opening for the dixie chicks

i wish this psp was easier to post with