I Wanna Move To America & Need A Sponsor (I'll Do Anything)

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06-08-2010, 07:15 PM
Cuchulainn

I Wanna Move To America & Need A Sponsor (I'll Do Anything)

My uses are

1. I'm not bad to look at despite being old.

2. I know how to operate a pen.

3. I know how to open a drawer, and shut it again with little to no help.

4. I have two eyes in the centre of my face, not on the sides like what birds have. It's ideal for hunting.

5. My tattoos glow in the dark.

6. I'm easy to please, pay me in beer, BBQ food & access Football matches (Soccer to you colonials).

7. I can run fast in slippers.

8. I can find the end of a new cellotape ream in under 5 minutes.

9. I may inadvertantly increase the workrate of others if you place me there due to my animal magnatism they will all be out to impress me.

10. Although I'm not gay I'm willing to do certain things with a certain amount iof alcohol to get a Green Card.

There you have it. I'm well worth the risks of employment & sponsorship I think you'll agree.

Applications Below.

Ya Wee Feckers
06-08-2010, 10:28 PM
Yar

You can live with me. :) You just have to beat up anyone that's mean to me.
06-08-2010, 10:30 PM
Meat Puppet

hah I tried this once and got in a lot of legal trouble so be careful
06-08-2010, 10:36 PM
Quindiana Jones

I'm pretty sure America has railways now, Cuch. They don't need the Irish anymore. :(
06-08-2010, 10:38 PM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quin

I'm pretty sure America has railways now, Cuch. They don't need the Irish anymore. :(

THEY STILL HAVE BARS!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yar

You can live with me. :) You just have to beat up anyone that's mean to me.

You point em out and I'll sort em for you brother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meat Puppet

hah I tried this once and got in a lot of legal trouble so be careful

How? It was all well when I married a Yank but once I realised I couldn't live another day with her her without throwing myself off a bridge (loved her just couldnt live with her) but now...psh.
06-08-2010, 11:01 PM
Shlup

Try Kentucky.
06-08-2010, 11:23 PM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Try Kentucky.

Take it there some joke there i don't get.
06-08-2010, 11:56 PM
Shlup

It's Kentucky. *shudder*
06-09-2010, 12:03 AM
Christmas

I think you stand a better chance of getting a sponsor if you say something like:

Hi, I'm a girl and I have boobs. :bigsmile:

I think just this line will do. :bigsmile:
06-09-2010, 12:05 AM
Melissaur

ME! Come live with me! Bring the beer, though.
06-09-2010, 01:18 AM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

It's Kentucky. *shudder*

I'd live in Kentucky, I don't care if I to start to adopt wearing a dirty tee under an open flannel shirt and a trucker hat, 's all good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christmas

I think you stand a better chance of getting a sponsor if you say something like:

Hi, I'm a girl and I have boobs. :bigsmile:

I think just this line will do. :bigsmile:

Good point, so you're saying be a girl. I'll have a bash. That our I'll marry the first girl that will take me & get in through the back door (If she likes that sorta thing HAHA JK, too much prep work invloved).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissaur

ME! Come live with me! Bring the beer, though.

After the alcohol & drug fuelled shenannigans 2 weeks ago I'm staying away from that stuff.
06-09-2010, 01:28 AM
Mo-Nercy

Screw soccer. Move to Australia and bring your Gaelic Football skills to Aussie rules footy.
06-09-2010, 01:32 AM
Melissaur

He's right. Anyways why the heck would you want to be here? I'd give my left AND right nut to live in a different country.
06-09-2010, 01:40 AM
o_O

Living in Australia, you'll have the opportunity to hang out with dubstep himself. Just sayin'...
06-09-2010, 01:44 AM
Melissaur

OMFG! FACE! I <3 you! come to america, please.
06-09-2010, 02:00 AM
G13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissaur

He's right. Anyways why the heck would you want to be here? I'd give my left AND right nut to live in a different country.

What the... :onoes:

Come stay with me Cuch. We can... :bou::bou::bou::bou:, I don't know, you'll help my image. That's all I got.
06-09-2010, 02:07 AM
blackmage_nuke

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mo-Nercy

Screw soccer. Move to Australia and bring your Gaelic Football skills to Aussie rules footy.

And you wont have to change the way you spell colour and you still get to use the metric system.
06-09-2010, 02:24 AM
Melissaur

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissaur

He's right. Anyways why the heck would you want to be here? I'd give my left AND right nut to live in a different country.

What the... :onoes:

Come stay with me Cuch. We can... :bou::bou::bou::bou:, I don't know, you'll help my image. That's all I got.

Like you didn't know already. I told you we have A LOT in common. And you don't need help with your image, you're cute enough.
06-09-2010, 02:39 AM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mo-Nercy

Screw soccer. Move to Australia and bring your Gaelic Football skills to Aussie rules footy.

Football's the only sport worth playing OR watching. Gaelic....meh I can take it or leave it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by o_O

Living in Australia, you'll have the opportunity to hang out with dubstep himself. Just sayin'...

Love to but the only thing that would attract me to there is you and, well maybe the others I know here. Apart from that I've no interest in living somewhere where almost every creature can kill you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

What the... :onoes:

Come stay with me Cuch. We can... :bou::bou::bou::bou:, I don't know, you'll help my image. That's all I got.

smurf image man, you shouldn't need help with that image is worthless. I'd share a few jars with you though, no question.
06-09-2010, 02:52 AM
rubah

http://reason.com/assets/db/07cf533d...b5942ef5ad.jpg
06-09-2010, 02:57 AM
NorthernChaosGod

Do you do dishes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissaur

He's right. Anyways why the heck would you want to be here? I'd give my left AND right nut to live in a different country.

I... you... what?! :onoes:
06-09-2010, 03:12 AM
Melissaur

OH like YOU didn't know either!
06-09-2010, 03:13 AM
Inferno

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

6. I'm easy to please, pay me in beer, BBQ food & access Football matches (Soccer to you colonials).

I'm pretty sure your irish beer tastes 1000 times better than the freakin' bud light and that kind of cheap american beer.
06-09-2010, 04:04 AM
Shiny

Unless you're Colin Farrell or Cillian Murphy, we don't need you. I would've said Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, but he's bat :bou::bou::bou::bou: insane.
06-09-2010, 04:13 AM
fire_of_avalon

Quote:

3. I know how to open a drawer, and shut it again with little to no help.

I died.
06-09-2010, 04:26 AM
G13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

What the... :onoes:

Come stay with me Cuch. We can... :bou::bou::bou::bou:, I don't know, you'll help my image. That's all I got.

smurf image man, you shouldn't need help with that image is worthless. I'd share a few jars with you though, no question.

Pshh An Irishmen not helping my image? That'll be the day! That's like saying parrots don't help a pirates image!

But yeah, make a trip up here and we'll have a few drinks.
06-09-2010, 05:26 AM
NorthernChaosGod

smurf that, you both come here and we'll have drinks. I live in a major city, I'd have better bars and more girls.
06-09-2010, 05:31 AM
G13

Aye, that's true. Spokane blows for bars but we have a good selection of ladies. :monster:

I can't compete with San Diego though.
06-09-2010, 07:56 AM
Rodarian

Cuch....Come to Pakistan.... We love 'foreigners'
06-09-2010, 11:16 AM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rodarian

Cuch....Come to Pakistan.... We love 'foreigners'

The heat would literally slaughter me. Plus I'm too liberal for a conservative society. I'm Irish anyway I think I'd be ok...

I'D DRINK WITH YOU ALL!!

Allie that was funny. I guess it's impossible then :(
06-09-2010, 11:21 AM
Shin Gouken

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rodarian

Cuch....Come to Pakistan.... We love 'foreigners'

You're a bacon sarnie? I love the accent :love: it comes second only to scouse <3
06-09-2010, 11:53 AM
Cuchulainn

bacon sarnie?
06-09-2010, 11:56 AM
Shin Gouken

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

bacon sarnie?

bacon sarnie = pakistani

cockney rhyming slang ftw
06-09-2010, 12:15 PM
Rodarian

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shin Gouken

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

bacon sarnie?

bacon sarnie = pakistani

cockney rhyming slang ftw

Ummm I don't have a Pakistani accent... Its a Canadian :P
06-09-2010, 12:25 PM
G13

You're Canadistani? :jess:
06-09-2010, 12:28 PM
Rodarian

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

You're Canadistani? :jess:

Damn right I am!! :cobert: :cool:

I am the best of both worlds!
06-09-2010, 12:39 PM
Shin Gouken

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rodarian

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shin Gouken

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

bacon sarnie?

bacon sarnie = pakistani

cockney rhyming slang ftw

Ummm I don't have a Pakistani accent... Its a Canadian :P

wow, what a disapointment :(

:D
06-09-2010, 03:10 PM
Mo-Nercy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shiny

Unless you're Colin Farrell or Cillian Murphy, we don't need you.

We, on the other hand, accept the likes of Brian McFadden.
06-09-2010, 05:46 PM
Freya

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

6. I'm easy to please, pay me in beer, BBQ food & access Football matches (Soccer to you colonials).

You realize most Americans don't care about soccer. Most don't even know the world cup is starting so I don't think you'll get any matches. But I guess it's something you'll have to live without if you come to the states.
06-09-2010, 06:23 PM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freya

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

6. I'm easy to please, pay me in beer, BBQ food & access Football matches (Soccer to you colonials).

You realize most Americans don't care about soccer. Most don't even know the world cup is starting so I don't think you'll get any matches. But I guess it's something you'll have to live without if you come to the states.

A lot do care, depends where you're at. I was in Chicago & Columbus and there's an interest & it was on TVs. You can get Setanta over there and Fox Soccer. I'm all set.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shiny

Unless you're Colin Farrell or Cillian Murphy, we don't need you. I would've said Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, but he's bat :bou::bou::bou::bou: insane.

Yea you do need me. You don't know it yet but America needs me. And Murphy's ok but Farrel? Keep that twat over there.
06-09-2010, 06:51 PM
NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freya

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

6. I'm easy to please, pay me in beer, BBQ food & access Football matches (Soccer to you colonials).

You realize most Americans don't care about soccer. Most don't even know the world cup is starting so I don't think you'll get any matches. But I guess it's something you'll have to live without if you come to the states.

I have lots of friends that care about soccer, one of my friends is constantly talking to me about the World Cup now that it's time.
06-10-2010, 12:59 AM
Levian

It feels like every male in Norway watches soccer, you might like it here. But then again, beer is expensive as crap, so unless you plan on staying sober you'll be better off in Denmark or Germany.
06-10-2010, 07:16 AM
Rodarian

Cuch come to Pakistan for beer! We have Muree which is pretty good except for the glycerin..But we can always remove that in a jiffy!! :D

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