Corrupted Wish Game

I got this idea from a thread on BZPower (now closed, unfortunately) so some of you may have played this before. For those who haven't here's how it works:

The point is to make the previous poster's wish come true... but in an ironic/funny/unusual way that is clearly NOT what is intended (but please try to avoid creepy monkey's-paw type scenarios, unless you can make it funny). For instance:

Poster 1: I wish I had a pie.

Poster 2: A clown hits you in the face with a pie.

...And after you "grant" the previous poster's wish, you make one of your own.

So I'll kick things off by wishing that I could go to the world of Spira.

Done! But unfortunately you've been transported to Zanarkand just as Sin comes and wrecks the place. You die.

I wish this wish would remain ungranted.

This is like "Fortunately, Unfortunately", which my friend and I like to play and is by far one of the greatest games of all time.

But then I come cross out the "remain" and "un" in NCG's wish and it gets GRANTED!

I wish I had a chocobo.

Granted. You have a chocobo and it eats all of your clothes.

I wish I wish I had a fish

Your fish leaves you for another person. Who has a private jet.

I wish that Aeris didn't die. (But who doesn't?)

She now works at a whore house taking 5+ penis's at a time for a nickle.

I wish all the bad things in the world happen to the one who answers this wish, and nobody else.

Granted. However, I'm a little hard of hearing in both of my ears so instead of "all the bad things happening to the person who answers this wish" I heard "I hope the sexy individual who answers this glorious wish gets nothing but good tidings while I take on the heavy load of everything bad in the world because I am a decent, self-sacrificing caring individual."

I wish I never had to sleep again.

XD A little hard of hearing?

You never have to sleep again... because you've died of boredom while level grinding. Dead people don't have to sleep.

I wish I owned a Taco Bell!

Granted. The Taco Bell you own is now in a class action lawsuit against all the people you've made sick serving undercooked beef.

I wish my wayfarers hadn't broke.

Granted. They have shattered.

I wish I were king of the elephants.

Granted. But you have been captured by a circus and they neutered you.

I wish I could eat all I want and never get fat.

Granted. Your cholesterol shoots through the roof, you have a heart attack and die.

I wish I was Thor.

Granted. You're thor all over and there ithn't enough Ithy Hot in the world to help.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted. You have one million dollars in marked, completely traceable bills and the FBI is currently conducting a manhunt to discern your location.

I wish my kidney wasn't in danger of dying.

Granted. But I was the one who donated one for you!

I wish EoFF didn't close my corgi threads.

Granted, however no one ever posts in them. O_O

I wish I was funny. :(

You become so funny that you are mobbed by rabid fangirls. You get eaten.

I wish I had Internet access more often.

You have constant access to the internet, however your homepage and background are both set to meatspin, and every time you try to change them your computer crashes

I wish the girl I love loved me back and we could live a quiet, happy life together

It hurts to do this, but...

She loves you and you settle down to a quiet and happy life... and you die of boredom.

I wish I weren't so damn BROKE.

Granted. You're fixed!

I wish I weren't afraid to go out in public.

You're now terrified of NOT going out in public.

I wish all your base were belong to us.

Granted. You're murdered by four assassins and sixteen ninjas. At the same time. Your body is dust.

I wish memes would go away forever.

Granted. The thousands of now homeless memes find a new place of lodging... your gray matter. You become insane and are locked in a padded room, endlessly repeating memes to yourself and laughing maniacally.

I wish everyone in the world were happy.

Any time there is a person about to become unhappy, they cease to exist.

I wish I was poop.

Granted. You are a feces golem, made of sixty types of feces and a smell only a mother could love. She's dead now though, so you're all alone.

I wish I had a giant mechanical pencil that never ran out of lead.

Granted. The pencil, the size of a sequoiah, gets out of your control and squashes you like a bug.

I wish trees could talk and weren't evil or creepy. (I don't want to suffer any more sleep deprivation this week.)

Granted, but they are annoying and have terrible taste. Their constant meddling with record sales allows Paris Hilton to become the most powerful celebrity in the world, she is quickly sworn in as President of the U.S. and threatens the world with nuclear armeggeddon if her pet chihuahua isn't named "god of the world" and worshiped. Her negligence and utter stupidity leads the world to the brink of destruction and a race of super celebrities who are terribly shallow and super pretty and constantly cheat on each other for the entertainment of the rest of us who work in the sweat shops to create their custom high end clothing lines that we are expected to buy.

The human race declines in intelligence until finally our very stupidity crates a massive bleep on the stupy-dar for an advanced alien race who has decided that it is its god given right to wipe out all stupid life on the planet, which leads to the extinction of humanity but our stupidity brainwaves exist beyond our lives and spread to the universe infecting all intelligent life leading to greater stupidity waves. The alien race is forced to utilize a terrible ancient weapon that crushes all space and time of the multiverse into a singularity to save sentient lbeing from the stupidity that exists beyond the singularity. That's why you don't want trees to talk...

I wish I had a moogle.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wolf Kanno

Granted, but they are annoying and have terrible taste. Their constant meddling with record sales allows Paris Hilton to become the most powerful celebrity in the world, she is quickly sworn in as President of the U.S. and threatens the world with nuclear armeggeddon if her pet chihuahua isn't named "god of the world" and worshiped. Her negligence and utter stupidity leads the world to the brink of destruction and a race of super celebrities who are terribly shallow and super pretty and constantly cheat on each other for the entertainment of the rest of us who work in the sweat shops to create their custom high end clothing lines that we are expected to buy.

The human race declines in intelligence until finally our very stupidity crates a massive bleep on the stupy-dar for an advanced alien race who has decided that it is its god given right to wipe out all stupid life on the planet, which leads to the extinction of humanity but our stupidity brainwaves exist beyond our lives and spread to the universe infecting all intelligent life leading to greater stupidity waves. The alien race is forced to utilize a terrible ancient weapon that crushes all space and time of the multiverse into a singularity to save sentient lbeing from the stupidity that exists beyond the singularity. That's why you don't want trees to talk...

I wish I had a moogle.

---

I think that's going to cause me more sleep deprivation than the just plain evil/creepy trees would have. O_o

Your moogle joins the evil Kupo d'Etat gang and rips your throat out and eats your brain. With mustard.

I wish Portal was free again :frown:

Portal is free, but it is so laggy and so buggy that it eats your house

I wish Rye would post next

Granted.

Oy, Rye, get off my account.

I wish this thread would stay alive.

Granted, but now all other threads have DIED.

I wish I was a better artist.

Granted. But you become like Edgar Allen Poe. You're a brilliant artist, but your mind is so dark and twisted that you can only draw disturbing and/or terrifying images. You hang these images all over your various walls and things, causing no one to want to visit your house. And then one dark and stormy night, your latest creation reaches a clawed arm out of the page and drags you to hell.

I think I scared myself with that one.

I wish I can has cheezburger.

Granted, but now you're a cat. Nice one.

I wish I had a glass of milk to drink with this Shepard's pie.

Granted. But you're in Soviet Russia, where Milk Drinks YOU!

I wish I had a complete PSP game library.

Granted, but you can only play one game now: The Sims 2: Pets!

I wish my next wish after this wish wasn't corrupted. :D

Granted. It will be twisted instead.

I wish Naomi would check her user CP, because I sent her a friend request.

Granted, I accept. Prepare for a lifetime of annoyance! :D

I wish I had ice cream.

Granted. You had ice cream. Not it's all gone.

I wish Miriel would post more pictures of her ADORABLE doggies! :bigsmile:

Granted. She posts thousands. But you notice something strange. Each dog in each picture gets slightly less adorable, until the last picture is of something that gives you screaming nightmares. And then leaps out of your computer screen and tears your throat out.

I feel morbid today. *shrug*

I wish penguins could really explode.

Granted. They all come to your house to show you.

I wish I knew why my pug runs in circles before I put his food down on the floor.

Nice one! :D

Granted. But now you don't know anything else, including how to breathe.

I wish for a sexy French maid to be my employee with benefits.

Granted, except she had a sex change a couple years ago. And "she" tells you ALL ABOUT IT.

I wish this tea had more sugar in it. :|

Granted. There is now more sugar in your glass than tea. You get diabetes.

[I wish I could look at a damn website without opening fifty more tabs of stuff I want to look at later.

Granted, now they just open in different windows. :D

(Don't worry, I do that too. Like right now! -hastily closes tabs-)

I wish I had all of Flogging Molly's CD's and not just individual songs from each of them. D:

You get them, but they are all covers of their songs. And the band that covered them is Crossfade.

I wish I could hug Naomi right now.

You smurfer.

Granted, but I'm still going to knee you in the stomach if you try to pick me up on the first day of school. :|

I wish my playlist would stop choosing The Beatles when it's on shuffle and just pick another damn band for once.

Granted. It now picks your newly-acquired Crossfade colors of Flogging Molly. What's more, it has deleted all your other music.

I wish Pandora didn't have stupid any ads on it.

-head/desk-

Granted. Now you pay for Pandora
(That's how you get rid of ads on Pandora. :D)

I wish Mafia would start, because I'm really excited for it. :o

Granted. But it's real. And you're a Suicidal Townie.

I wish I knew how to hack.

Oh COME ON. You guys are doing pretty well with these tonight. >:U

Granted, but you hack into the Pentagon's database, and you're arrested by the CIA.

I wish my shoulder muscle would stop hurting. :<

Your arm falls off

I wish that this school year will be a good one

EDIT: Damn, LoM beat me to it.

Granted. It is good... by the leader of Team Galactic's standard of good. Which is to say, he is God and you live in a Crapsack World.

I wish I could find a working Spirit Tracks rom because I is teh cheepsk8.

You both suck.

LoM: Granted, but you still gotta put up with me.
Razor: Granted. And then you find out Spirit Tracks was teh suxxxorz! 8D

I wish it wasn't so cold in here.

Did it really? I loved Phantom Hourglass.

Granted. You get teleported naked to the Sahara.

I wish that I possessed the ability to enter video games and to exit them again when I wanted and to grant myself all the necessary abilities to be a Hero within the video game universes.

(Closed all the loopholes I could think of :D)

Well, I didn't like PH to begin with. I am being quite biased.

Granted, but then when you return to the real world, you still think you're the protagonist of the game you were just playing, and continue on IRL as if you're still in the game. Sadly, you just got done playing GTA IV.

I wish I had money. >:

I'm gonna answer Naomi's as well, because I'm cool like that.

Naomi: You aren't cold anymore because you are hugging me
razorrozar: You are Cait Sith
Edit: Naomi 2: It's fake and you are in jail


I wish my friends wouldn't move away to college next year

Somebody needs to do something about this post overlap thing.

@Naomi's Answer: Epic win.
@LoM's Answer: I liked Ket Shee.

@Naomi's wish: You get infinite money the day before the worldwide economy collapses and money becomes worthless.
@LoM's wish: They don't move. You do. To Antarctica.

I wish I had a go-kart.

Granted. It doesn't come with wheels. :D

I wish I could adjust the nose piece on my glasses so they weren't digging into my tear duct. D':

Granted, now they are tearing into your eye, and deeper, into your brain.

I wish I had classes with all my friends

EDIT: Goddamn it, LoM.

Granted. You have classes with all your friends that last until you die and crumble into dust.

I wish I had the Fierce Deity's mask IRL.

Granted, but then you ARE FDL. You stomp your house down.

I wish I had a wish to make, but I'm distracted by this delicious coffee.

(This would be a great time to mention I am a caffeine addict and I freaking love coffee.)

You'll need it so you can stay up all night posting. :D

Granted. You wish that you were a snail. It's granted.

I wish I knew where my PS2 is.

Granted. You find it broken, in a dumpster.

I wish my coffee cup was magic and never ran out of coffee. O___O

Granted. It begins to overflow and covers the whole world with coffee. Much much later, the Great Sea in Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks is now coffee.

I think that was epic win.

I wish trash did not stink.

Granted, but now everything else does.

Wishes she had a grand boat for this coffee sea.

You posted like this was the ^ < v thread. :p

Granted. You are now sailing on the Golden Ship from Phantom Hourglass. But it's made from real gold. Which sinks.

I wish this forum did not keep sucking me away from OoT.

Granted. But now we'll play without you and do evil things to you! :D

I wish I could multitask better.

Granted. But now you can't focus on one thing for longer than a fraction of a second.

I wish Link and Zelda were real. Oh, and Malon.

Granted. But so is Ganon, and we all know the rest of the story.

I wish I could stay on and talk to you guys all night. D:

Granted, but then you have to talk to me all night. :p

I wish I was the richest man ever.

EDIT: DAMN it, NCG!!!11!!one1!

Granted. You rob everyone in the world. And then get gunned down in cold blood by Robert Ford.

I wish I had a sword.

HA @ Both of you. xD

@ Northern: Granted, but now everyone else is poor and cannot afford to produce anything. Nothing to do with the money now.
@ Razor: Granted. but it's FDL's sword. And you're still normal size.

I wish Naomi had made a wish.

Granted, it is a wish for you to die, and it was granted, but the catch to that wish is that you came back as a zombie and ate Naomi

I wish I had someone to hold all night long XD

You make your wish and nothing happens, so you end up masturbating all night. :jess:

I wish for Naomi.

Granted. You get an empty, soulless copy of Naomi that does nothing but sit and stare at you with empty eyes. UNTIL SHE SUCKS YOUR SOUL OUT.

I wish everyone was a good person.

@ NCG: Wish granted, however she proceeds to block you from this point on. xD
@ razor: Goddammit, wish granted. That however, makes you a bad person.

I wish I was a crime fighter.

Wow, you're right, you should be Pedobear...

Razorrozar: Everyone is good, but now murdering is considered good, and you are the first target.
Edit: ARGGG
Blues Agent: You fight crime, and it fights you back. You do not win

I wish my last wish was actually granted

Granted. The last wish you ever make will be granted.

I wish for the powers of Spiderman.

Granted, you are now a pussy

I wish for respect

Granted, but the respect is stemmed from fear.

I wish my pug would stop being a freaking spazzoid and fall asleep.

Seriously, no one could ever fear me. I'm a smurfing teddy bear, unless they are afraid of my picture XD

I wanted to say your pug went into an eternal sleep, I really did, but I can't do that to ya. So instead your pug falls asleep on your clothes and drools. A lot. Like 4 gallons.

I wish I could punch a certain person that me and Naomi know in the face.

Holy smurf, you predicted the future! He's doing that now. xD

Granted. And I can't corrupt that because I want the same thing.

I wish LoM could punch a certain person me and him know in the face.

lom punches this person and breaks his hand. And then gets beaten up.

I wish to be Pedobear.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by leader of mortals

Wow, you're right, you should be Pedobear...

---

/smug

Well, now that I think about it, I think I would rather punch him in the sternum or the ulnar nerve. It will hurt a lot more for a lot longer and I probably wouldn't get in any trouble.

Granted, but then he's still a douche
Edit: Granted, but you are now banned for being too good at it.

I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish

Dammit, LoM.

Granted. But you got no water, and your awesome cartoon was canceled.

I wish Ed, Edd and Eddy would come back. DX

None of the original voice actors or even animators are working on the show. It sucks. Worse than before.

I wish for a white van and an unlimited supply of candy

Granted, and it comes with a free Chris Hansen and prison term!

I wish my greatest unknown desire would come true

I wish NCG would've made a wish and didn't diss one of the coolest shows of my childhood.

EDIT: STOP THAT.

Granted. And I know what it is.

I wish I could remember to make a wish.

Wishing is now the only thing you can think of.

I wish for a get out of jail free card.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Naomi The Insane

I wish NCG would've made a wish

---

I did.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Naomi The Insane

and didn't diss one of the coolest shoes of my childhood.

---

Hmmm, now I have to ask. How old are you?

16. :B

Granted. It's a "one time use" only, though, and using it is illegal.

I wish for UNLIMITED COOKIES~

You now have Type 2 Diabetes.

I wish for unlimited internets.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Naomi The Insane

16. :B

---

http://www.evilscience.co.uk/wp-cont...llent-frog.JPG

Granted. You also lose control over your arms and have become blind.

I wish for a pet duck. A friendly duck.

Granted, but he has a Siamese twin brother, who is EEEEEEVIL.

I wish gay marriage was legal everywhere. D:<

You have a friendly duck. He's flies south for the winter after you have greatly bonded with him and never returns
Edit: It is now legal everywhere, but now all the idiots against it start killing the gays

I wish I were better looking

F'reals, STOP THAT. D:

Granted. But now the ladies won't leave you alone. They won't even let you sleep.

I wish I had an idea for something to draw.

Granted. It's the drawing of me poking your face

I wish that, at the end of this life, I could relive my life with all the knowledge I have, and be able to change everything and be a better person.

I still gotta draw that for you, don't I?

Granted, but you then realize the way you're living now is exactly how it should be played out, and you still have to live through all the tragedies that have occurred.

I wish that my hair would grow out again.

Granted, but now your hair is snakes! :eek:

I wish that I had a glass of water.

Granted. It's poisoned! :D

I wish I could do parkour.

Your hair grows out again. You become Medusa. You are voted for on Day 0 and killed night 1
Edit: Wow, I'm slow... Hiveminded NCG, though...

You parkour yourself into a wall

I wish I could play an instrument

Granted! Now you play the triangle. :p

I wish I had an electric drumset.

You now have an electric drumset. Unfortunately, you had to sell your arms and legs to get them.

I wish ball point pens were destroyed.

Ball Point Pens are destroyed. Into your face.

I wish I didn't have to read "The Good Earth"

Granted. You fail the class, and Mrs. Mast won't be very happy with you. DON'T MAKE MRS. MAST SAD LoM.

I wish I could call LoM by his real name on here, though I don't think he'll mind either way.

You call me Patrick and everyone finds me and kills me

I wish I had a Quina Signature

Granted, but it looks like Quina wants to kill everyone.

I wish I owned Trauma Team. :<

Quina would never kill everyone! Eat everyone, maybe, but not kill!

You get Trauma Team for free! It's actually Meatspin and Rick Roll put together.

I wish I had a pet Moomba :3

Due to a glitch, you get a pet Roomba in evil sentience mode.

I wish my friend was home from Utah.

Granted. But now everyone else goes to Utah. I mean, WTF is in Utah, anyways?

I wish I could wake up.

Granted. You are now awake and never able to fall asleep again.

I wish it was December.

Granted. There's 17 feet of snow that you alone have to shovel out, but hey, at least Christmas is around the corner.

I wish I wasn't having constant, unexplainable panic attacks about school starting.

Granted. Now you are having constant, unexplainable Pedobear attacks from Northern.

I wish more Mafia people were online.

Granted. Now the game is never gonna eeeeend!

I wish LoM won't pull some stupid prank on me on the first day of school like I know he will.

Granted! He'll pull the most epic prank on you instead. Be prepared.

I wish I had a PS3. :(

Granted. Too bad it breaks within the first week of owning it, and your warranty JUUUUST expired. :D

I wish I had something to eat for breakfast.

Granted, but how do you like your eggs in the morning? :jokey:

I wish I didn't have to go to work, but I still got paid for today.

Granted. But then you're fired tomorrow! :D

I wish I knew what I was doing with my life.

Granted. But an Octorock kills you right after and you get a game over.

I wish I had a trout to smack \certain people with :trout:

Granted. They just happen to got a shark to smack back with.

I wish I had a tooth pick. I got somethin' stuck in my teeth. :b

I give you a toothpick, in your eye

I wish there weren't so many horrible people at my school XD

Granted. Now they're at your house!
Mosher, in your house? Oh, the humanity.

I wish this roast wasn't so burned. :B

Granted. Now it's raw and your oven is broken.

I wish I had a class where I am surrounded by all of my super awesome friends, Naomi included

Granted. It's gym again! :D

Oh god, why did I just do that to myself...

I wish I had some more Coke de Mexicano. D:

Granted buuut... (SPOILER)http://nastyish.com/images/wilford%2...-diabeetus.jpg

I wish I could do something worthwhile for the forums

Granted. Now all the little nooblets will come running to you for every widdle problem they have. :D

I wish I wasn't so shy.

granted but now everyones shy of you :)

i wish i had a million dollars....

Granted, but you still gotta pay a :bou::bou::bou::bou:load of taxes.

I wish I wasn't so impatient with Mafia. D:

Granted. You now have the patience of a saint, and are immediately killed in the next round.

I wish I didn't have to go to work so early tomorrow.

Granted. Now you have to go when you want to go to bed.

I wish I was funnier.

Granted. No one will ever take you seriously again

I wish for someone to hold, someone to love, someone that I can confide in and know will always be there for me.

Granted. A cactuar is stuck to you. :cactuar:

I wish for some shiny objects.

Granted. Now the magpies won't leave you alone.

I wish I knew everything. 8D

You know everything. Everyone's pain is now your own. Every suicidal thought, every tear, every cut, every night sitting alone, wishing he had the courage to pull the trigger. These thoughts are now your own.

I wish I was less of a pussy XD

Granted. Now no girl will go out with you for being such a dick.
In my universe, that's the polar opposite.

I wish I didn't have to worry about meeting new people.

Granted. I introduce you to all my dumb stoner friends, and they all creep on you.

I wish I didn't have to worry about my future while regretting the past.

Granted. You worry about the past while regretting the future.

I wish the dishes would clean themselves tonight.

Granted. The dishes become sentient, clean themselves, and then leave.

I wish I got paid more.

Granted. Your employer goes bankrupt because they paid you so much. No more job!

I wish I could stop playing Give Up, Robot.

Granted. You are no longer playing. You ARE the robot. And you are on hard mode. Good luck, and godspeed.

I wish I knew what to wish for

Granted. You wish their was a rabid Tasmanian devil in your trousers.

I wish I had more tea

You have more tea, but it gives you aids.

I wish NCG would post next and say someting funny

Gran- HA!

I wish I had more coffee.

You have more coffee, but it gives you Herpes.

I wish Naomi would post something sweet next XD

Granted. I answered your wish, what more do you want?

I wish I knew how to be nicer.

Can not grant, you are already super nice :3

I wish Naomi would find my creepiness funny and charming instead of, well, creepy

Granted. She permanently glomps you and never lets go. She cuts off circulation in your legs.

I wish my friend didn't insist on looking at guides on his PC while playing the PS3, thus depriving me of the ability to be on here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by razorrozar7

Granted. She permanently glomps you and never lets go. She cuts off circulation in your legs.

---

Wheres the bad part?

Granted, but now he plays games all day on the computer and sold the PS3 to pay for the monthly subscription.

I wish I could know what people really think about me.

Granted. They all hate you, now you're sad.

I wish Naomi liked me.

granted. now she does, and you suddenly realise you don't like her. at all. and she's really very annoying.

i wish that i could find a pen that writes well on the back of my hand.

You find Dolores Umbridge's pen.

I wish I could have an awesome dream tonight.

Granted. Unfortunately, everything is horrible when you wake up.

I wish I had a pet unicorn

Granted. It gets mako poisoning and dies. You are haunted by its ghost, which drives you to suicide.

Decided not to go with the stock "it goes berserk and kills you" thing.

I wish for a fish on a dish.

Granted. You get this fish on a dish, but is served by a bitch that makes you wish you never had the fish because your brain goes squish because the bitch was a witch with a magic swish, for the witch had a wish to accomplish.

HOLY SMOKES THAT WAS FUN

I wish I could continue that rhyme.

Granted. You continue the rhyme forever. You never leave the house and you soon die of starvation.

I wish for a hug :3

Granted. Here's a porcupine!

I wish my slippers were fuzzy again. >:

Granted. Your slippers are now made of dead kittens.

I wish Demon Dude would post next XD

:jess:

I wish lom would post next! :U

Granted.

Dammit, first Rye, now LoM. I need to change my password.

I wish I had a large Frosty.

Granted. It's razor blade flavored!

Did I just miss something...?

I wish my mp3 player would charge faster.

It charges fast all right, though the rapid energy intake causes it to blow up. O_O

I wish I had a pedo-van.

Granted. Chris Hansen would like to have a word with you.

I wish I had more chips. -holds out bowl like Oliver Twist-

Granted. You now have 1 million wood chips. MMMM! Oaky!

I wish for nothing.

Granted. Everything you ever owned is now stripped away from you leaving you with nothing. :D

I wish I had my own TARDIS.

Granted. It also is about to EXPLODE :eek:

I wish I didn't die in mafia :(

Granted. Everyone assumes you're cheating and you get insta-banned.

I wish Naomi would post next :3

Granted. It's stabby time now. >:D -brandishes knife-

I wish my pug would let me type. >_>

Granted, but it doesn't let you live

I wish Naomi was here and I could annoy/creep/hug her

Granted. It's stabby time now. >:D -raises knife above her head-

I wish I could lose weight.

Granted. You lose weight the only way possible for someone as beautiful and skinny as you, you become 5'1". Now don't ever call yourself fat again :colbert:

I wish I were smoother.

Granted. You're so smooth, you cannot pick things up. You simply slide everywhere because friction doesn't apply to you. YOU CANNOT HUG ME NOW.

I wish I had a good, decent wish to make that somehow doesn't involve lom.

Granted. It involves NCG and a candlelight dinner.

I wish for my teachers to not all suck donkey nutsacks

Granted. You're transferred to Western. Now the students all suck donkey nutsacks.

I wish this school year was the best school year ever.

Granted, but your senior year is gonna suuuuuuuck

I wish I could think of a flattering yet non-creepy thing to say to Naomi

Granted. You tell me to eff off and go find better friends, because I'm cooler than you.

I wish my sister would stop distracting.

Your sister stops distracting you, and instead steals the computer.

I wish I could stop drinking Dew

Granted. You now drink blood that the blood band desperately needs, you horrible person.

I wish I could get back to a normal sleep schedule by, like, tomorrow night.

Granted, but now you sleep with me.

I wish this wish was impossible to corrupt.

Granted. The next one will be twice as corrupt.

I wish my playlist would stop playing songs I don't wanna hear right now. >:U

Granted. Your playlist stops playing songs. Forever.

I wish Naomi would get the Master Sword.

Granted. I have it, and I TAKE OVER THE WORLD! >:D

I wish I was better at Mafia.

Granted. Now you're too good and no one wants to play with you.

I wish I had a better car.

Granted. Someone steals it.
That was TOO easy.

I wish the green streaks in my hair wouldn't wash out so easily.

Granted. They disappear.

I wish I could hold Naomi forever and ever and ever

Granted. I stab you.

I wish I could play Mafia ALL NIGHT~

Granted. But then the real mafia comes and recruits you, and then you get arrested.

I wish I hadn't got rickrolled yesterday.

Granted. You pass that Rickroll to me, and I punch you in the face.

I wish I had a hover chair.

I really did pass the rickroll onto you. :D That was the same vid that rickrolled me yesterday.

Granted. It soars out of the atmosphere. And you aren't Freeza.

I wish I could play Castle Crashers 4-eva.

Granted. You forget to eat, sleep, and eventually, breathe.

I wish my nose wasn't all stuffed up.

Granted. But then you tilt your drink too far back and get Mountain Dew up your nose.

That has actually happened to me. ;.;

I wish I was better at graphic design.

Granted. You are so great, all other graphic designers (including myself) form a mob to find you, because you ran them out of business.

I wish I could get clients who actually like my work.

Granted. They are all pedobears.

I wish I could go BACK... TO THE FUTURE!!!!

Granted. You unknowingly hook up with your great great granddaughter, causing your great great great grandchild to be your son.

I wish I could get rid of this cough.

Granted. It exits your body and becomes a physical entity. This entity follows you around, coughing annoyingly, until the end of your days.

I wish everyone in the world would read Order of the Stick.

Granted, and everyone loves it so much they form massive worship groups and mob you where ever you go and you end up being ripped to pieces by all the people in the world then the entire mob hangs themselves because they think your story is so awesome except for the little children who don't know how to read, they now rule the world and barney is put on rerun after rerun just one specific show and now the world follows the new barney religion.

I wish that all my wishes were completely uncorruptable.

I didn't write OoTS. I just like it. So fail.

Granted. You are now forced to never post in this topic again.

I wish I hadd beat Castle Crashers with every character already.

Granted, but

you console soon frys and conks out afterwards and you'll never able to play video games again.


I wish to have a body like the greek god Apollo

Granted. You are the sun.

I wish the cake was not a lie.

Granted. It Rickrolls you instead.

(There really is a cake that resembles the Portal cake, but you can lift it up, and it's a Rick Astley cake that starts to sing "Never Gonna Give You Up", and it says "The cake is a lie")

I wish I had more steak. :B

:exdee: Someone should make that a mod.

Granted. It's Soylent Green brand.

I wish you knew the rules, and so did I.