Indian smurfing Call Centres

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10-25-2010, 06:07 PM
Cuchulainn

Indian smurfing Call Centres

My tinternet broked last night and I had to call B smurfing T to ask WTF they're at. It goes through to a certain 'Mr Andrew Baines' who's real smurfing name is actually 'Mr Obviously smurfingindian'. He can't understand me as my Belfast accent is fast and barely a language and I can't understand him as his English is only slightly better than mine. After 1 hour of 'can you repeat that sir' and 'please do not swear at me sir' I shouted 'smurf', hung up and broke my phone against the wall. I woke up this morning and everything was fine except my lingering regret of insulting a nice man and breaking a phone.

Anyway do Americans get this or all your call centres in the US? Or is this strictly a Irish/British thing? Do Swedish people get Russians? To the French get Algerians? WHO DO INDIANS GET????? BANGLEDESHIS? HELP ME WHAT THE smurf IS GOING ON???
10-25-2010, 06:13 PM
NorthernChaosGod

Everyone outsources their call centers to India. :lol:

Oh, Cuch, you slay me.
10-25-2010, 06:31 PM
Peegee

I laugh at your pain. And to add to injury the prevalent state of the world:

A lot of companies with call centers are switching over to India with record levels of lulz as a result. The bottom line is slashed by a significant amount (I don't even know what they get paid but it's hilarious compared to our already low-paid call takers here).

Let's take an example. IBM made a bid to be the sole provider of AT&T USA's HD support 6-7 years ago. I forget. It's been a while. From what I recall, IBM gets about a million dollars a month for the contract, and there's a penalty if the performance is not up to par. But the penalty is nothing compared to the contract price. Hohoho you can see what is going to happen.

First of all a million dollars is very little when it comes down to what the cost ends up being. Usually it's paid to wages which is higher than the one time set-up cost for the system and the access and the etc. For example let's say a Canadian agent makes 37,000$ a year. And a manager makes 60,000$ a year to be simple. By the time I was promoted the call center taking 75% of the calls (canadian agents) were 10 agents.

so 10 = 75%

13 = 100%, give or take.

13*37000+60000 = 541 000$

holy crap that's half of one MONTH of service fees. WHAT THE HELL SO BLOATED THE PROFIT ALREADY

But wait there's more. Making ~22x the cost of running the actual service (ignoring the service managers who deal with the fine print and the big picture,which would probably add 1-200 000$ to the cost per year; they handle multiple accounts and their pay is split between all of the contracts) is not enough profit margin. So they offshore everything to India. The savings shoots up to like 44x profilt and thus allows for more room for bloat.

The result is lowered customer relations and satisfaction.

As for the countries used. It's usually India or in rare cases the Philippines. Both very cheap places to live. I often joke that I want to live in India while telecommuting for my Canada-based job. Oh God I would be a god in that country.

The moar you know.mp3
10-25-2010, 06:36 PM
Alive-Cat

It's worse when call centres come to YOU. ADVERTISING THINGS. Also can be pretty funny though when you say funny stuff to them.
You always know though, because when you pick up the phone and say hello there's silence for like 4 seconds. If I'm not in the mood and I pick up the phone to silence, I slam it down. :)
10-25-2010, 07:58 PM
Clo

Everyone, American, British, Irish alike, has experienced this.

The Indians are usually really nice to me though. :) We have nice chats.
10-25-2010, 08:25 PM
Psychotic

I choose to take the thread title literally, to sexy results.
10-25-2010, 08:28 PM
Bunny

From dealing with my internet customer service, I have learned that the great majority of Idaho is Mexican.
10-25-2010, 08:29 PM
Shlup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clo

Everyone, American, British, Irish alike, has experienced this.

The Indians are usually really nice to me though. :) We have nice chats.

This.

Except that, you're right, it is frustrating when you don't understand someone. Like, I get that you need a job and I don't want to be a dick to you, Other Country Person, but if I can't smurfing understand you then this call isn't going to be very helpful or efficient now, is it?
10-25-2010, 08:39 PM
Peegee

I watched on one of those learning channel shows that in india there's 'accent' training programs that lets them learn how to speak like a westerner. Apparently such courses are expensive or people don't bother.

I was in sears the other day buying socks and one of the people on the intercom was advertising a cheap something..I couldn't figure out what it was they were selling. A tv maybe? Either way if he spoke with a western accent I would understand him.

It's not racist if race doesn't exist. Accents exist though. And I hate accents.
10-25-2010, 10:14 PM
Rebellious Eagle

Yeah, I had to call a center in India to port my old cell phone number to my new cell phone. It took me twenty minutes to give him all the information he needed because I couldn't understand him. Dx But at least it worked!
10-25-2010, 10:27 PM
Mirage

It's india because those guys aren't too bad at english compared to other low cost countries.

and stop hating on those poor guys over there, they're just trying make ends meet!
10-25-2010, 10:31 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirage

It's india because those guys aren't too bad at english compared to other low cost countries.

and stop hating on those poor guys over there, they're just trying make ends meet!

nop.
10-25-2010, 10:52 PM
TyphoonThaReapa

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bunny

From dealing with my internet customer service, I have learned that the great majority of Idaho is Mexican.

This
10-25-2010, 10:58 PM
Psychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirage

and stop hating on those poor guys over there, they're just trying make ends meet!

Look man, all I'm saying is that if they can't speak English they should just get the hell out of my country!
10-26-2010, 12:10 AM
Rye

I actually understand their English very well. Rather speak to them than some person from Charleston who pronounces "Dawn" like "Don" and ends up getting me embarrassed by the entire company.
10-26-2010, 12:19 AM
Meat Puppet

My ISP has Americans. Hey, I’m not paying $70 a month for nothing.
10-26-2010, 12:27 AM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirage

It's india because those guys aren't too bad at english compared to other low cost countries.

and stop hating on those poor guys over there, they're just trying make ends meet!

Not my problem. I pay for a service. The service includes technical help. I expect people at the other side to understand what the smurf I'm saying & vise versa. Also they lie. They pretend their name is Stephen or Susan and talok about the local weather like they're here. Dickheads. smurfem. smurfemall.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rye

I actually understand their English very well. Rather speak to them than some person from Charleston who pronounces "Dawn" like "Don" and ends up getting me embarrassed by the entire company.

I say Dawn and Don exactly the same way.

PS: THERE's MORE RIOTS HERE I WONDER IF I PHONE WILL THEY TALK ABOUT THEM
10-26-2010, 12:44 AM
Mirage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirage

and stop hating on those poor guys over there, they're just trying make ends meet!

Look man, all I'm saying is that if they can't speak English they should just get the hell out of my country!

They are the hell out of your country!
10-26-2010, 12:51 AM
Bunny

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rye

I actually understand their English very well. Rather speak to them than some person from Charleston who pronounces "Dawn" like "Don" and ends up getting me embarrassed by the entire company.

Wait.. what?

Record yourself saying this because I have no idea how else it would be pronounced.
10-26-2010, 01:49 AM
NorthernChaosGod

Apparently only three of us known how to speak English properly.
10-26-2010, 02:01 AM
fire_of_avalon

Rye emphasizes the W. dAWWWWWn. Don would have no W emphasis.
10-26-2010, 03:13 AM
Miriel

I would say that Rye is the weird one in this case! The "w" should only be faint and possibly even negligible when saying "dawn".

You know who has a great call center? Amazon. Friendly, quick, & efficient. Really fantastic customer service on their end. I'm pretty sure they're based in the US though. I don't think I've ever actually been redirected to an Indian call center.
10-26-2010, 03:25 AM
kotora

I bet these Indians speak better English than the average Irish person
10-26-2010, 03:31 AM
Mo-Nercy

Having worked at McDonalds in my teenage years for quite a while, I think my ability to understand Indian-accented English is pretty good. I don't think I've ever had a problem with an overseas call centre.

Didn't we just have a Don-Dawn discussion like a month ago?
10-26-2010, 04:39 AM
DMKA

You know I've heard this from people but it's never happened to me. I always get ghetto "Ha I'mma Shaynaynay fo customah servace oporatah numbah fo fa fa fo nah fa fo may i axe u yo name n phone numbah sa mmhmm" people or "HAY YALL IM DARLA IN FRANK EUWING TENNESSEE YALL HOW CANNA I FIXIN TO HELP YALL" folks.

I'm not sure if this makes me more or less fortunate than all you folks who get stuck with Apu.
10-26-2010, 05:20 AM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by kotora

I bet these Indians speak better English than the average Irish person

Strange you should say that because apparently the best english speakers (as in the closest to pronouncing everything correctly) are the people from Cork in Ireland.

In your face clog boy.
10-26-2010, 05:46 AM
Madonna

You guys use call centers to get customer support? I chat online with all my representatives because I live in the future.
10-26-2010, 08:23 AM
NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genius Lynx

You guys use call centers to get customer support? I chat online with all my representatives because I live in the future.

What do you do if it's your internet that needs fixing?
10-26-2010, 11:59 AM
kotora

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by kotora

I bet these Indians speak better English than the average Irish person

Strange you should say that because apparently the best english speakers (as in the closest to pronouncing everything correctly) are the people from Cork in Ireland.

In your face clog boy.

what, they use the Queen's English in Ireland now? Last time I was there they spoke anything but English. It was like trying to communicate with those pikeys from Snatch.
10-26-2010, 12:36 PM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by kotora

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by kotora

I bet these Indians speak better English than the average Irish person

Strange you should say that because apparently the best english speakers (as in the closest to pronouncing everything correctly) are the people from Cork in Ireland.

In your face clog boy.

what, they use the Queen's English in Ireland now? Last time I was there they spoke anything but English. It was like trying to communicate with those pikeys from Snatch.

If you were in Dublin I doubt you met one Irishman.
10-26-2010, 12:59 PM
Madonna

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

What do you do if it's your internet that needs fixing?

Carrier pigeon; after all, this is the future of which we are speaking.
10-26-2010, 07:29 PM
NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by kotora

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by kotora

I bet these Indians speak better English than the average Irish person

Strange you should say that because apparently the best english speakers (as in the closest to pronouncing everything correctly) are the people from Cork in Ireland.

In your face clog boy.

what, they use the Queen's English in Ireland now? Last time I was there they spoke anything but English. It was like trying to communicate with those pikeys from Snatch.

D'ya like dags?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genius Lynx

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

What do you do if it's your internet that needs fixing?

Carrier pigeon; after all, this is the future of which we are speaking.

Touche.
10-26-2010, 09:21 PM
Peegee

Dey tuk er jerb!
10-26-2010, 10:13 PM
Psychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirage

and stop hating on those poor guys over there, they're just trying make ends meet!

Look man, all I'm saying is that if they can't speak English they should just get the hell out of my country!

They are the hell out of your country!

:greenie:
10-26-2010, 10:39 PM
Necronopticous

I always hear people complain about the level of English that these Indian call center drones are working with, but I have never personally had any trouble communicating. What gets me is how unnecessarily formal and robotic they are in their communication. Some of the stuff that they toss out is absolutely ludicrous.

Here's my favorite line, delivered literally every time I answer any question whatsoever: Okay Mr. Nissen, thank you so much for providing me with this piece of information.
10-26-2010, 11:02 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Necronopticous

I always hear people complain about the level of English that these Indian call center drones are working with, but I have never personally had any trouble communicating. What gets me is how unnecessarily formal and robotic they are in their communication. Some of the stuff that they toss out is absolutely ludicrous.

Here's my favorite line, delivered literally every time I answer any question whatsoever: Okay Mr. Nissen, thank you so much for providing me with this piece of information.

xD flashbacks to my [internal] helpdesk here and at IBM. I hope it's not in their script [or I hope it is so that it's not their fault]
10-26-2010, 11:12 PM
Crop

I had some Indian woman help me with my PS3 when I had a problem, and she was great, fairly easy to understand too.
I had a Scottish person help me with my bank when I lost my wallet and she was terrible, I honestly could not understand a word she was saying.

If you all just voted BNP, none of this Indian misunderstanding stuff would happen. They wouldn't even be allowed on our phones.
BNP, BNP!
10-27-2010, 08:49 AM
Rodarian

In Canada, telemarketers usually call to the US..... I remember my sister one time worked as a telemarketer and guy on the other tend was keeping her on live hold as he was jacking off..Freaked her out it did.....
10-27-2010, 10:17 PM
Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crop

I had some Indian woman help me with my PS3 when I had a problem, and she was great, fairly easy to understand too.
I had a Scottish person help me with my bank when I lost my wallet and she was terrible, I honestly could not understand a word she was saying.

If you all just voted BNP, none of this Indian misunderstanding stuff would happen. They wouldn't even be allowed on our phones.
BNP, BNP!

It's got smurf all to do with race, religion or nationality. Quit angling it that way. It's to do with a service i'm paying for that I expect to be understood & not have to repeat swhit over & over. Simple.

@Necronopticous

Yes they always stick to script. I sometimes like to smurf with them by switching :bou::bou::bou::bou: up & asking THEM questiions.
10-27-2010, 10:35 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crop

I had some Indian woman help me with my PS3 when I had a problem, and she was great, fairly easy to understand too.
I had a Scottish person help me with my bank when I lost my wallet and she was terrible, I honestly could not understand a word she was saying.

If you all just voted BNP, none of this Indian misunderstanding stuff would happen. They wouldn't even be allowed on our phones.
BNP, BNP!

It's got smurf all to do with race, religion or nationality. Quit angling it that way. It's to do with a service i'm paying for that I expect to be understood & not have to repeat swhit over & over. Simple.

@Necronopticous

Yes they always stick to script. I sometimes like to smurf with them by switching :bou::bou::bou::bou: up & asking THEM questiions.

Nobody from a foreign country is going to under local idioms and dialects and the such. Still you should expect them to have a ridiculously simple understanding and ability to speak english. Sort of how when I speak japanese or Chinese (what little I can) it is a simplified version that lacks slang and idioms. Oh well at least I can communicate.

inb4 racism i'm asian we're allowed.
10-27-2010, 11:35 PM
Crop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuchulainn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crop

I had some Indian woman help me with my PS3 when I had a problem, and she was great, fairly easy to understand too.
I had a Scottish person help me with my bank when I lost my wallet and she was terrible, I honestly could not understand a word she was saying.

If you all just voted BNP, none of this Indian misunderstanding stuff would happen. They wouldn't even be allowed on our phones.
BNP, BNP!

It's got smurf all to do with race, religion or nationality. Quit angling it that way. It's to do with a service i'm paying for that I expect to be understood & not have to repeat swhit over & over. Simple.

:roll2