Give me a hug or you're cold and unfriendly

I live in Toronto these days. Toronto is Canada's largest city, so other Canadians like to complain about it, mostly because it gets more attention than any other Canadian city. (Also because the Leafs suck.)

One thing in particular people like to complain about is the "fact" that everyone is so cold an unfriendly here. Apparently, in other cities, random strangers say hi to each other and start up conversations in the street.

The hell? I've never seen anyone do that anywhere. Why would you? Who would want to? If a random stranger starts talking to me, it's probably because they're crazy, stoned out of their minds, or begging for something. (Or asking for directions, but that doesn't count.)

Is your city one of these mythical friendly cities where everyone is so super friendly? Does it drive you insane like it would me?

Quote:

---

Is your city one of these mythical friendly cities where everyone is so super friendly?

---

No, I live in America.

I live in Niagara Falls now, which is too crazy and :bou::bou::bou::bou:ty to dare to describe, but I mainly grew up around Buffalo, and everyone is super friendly there. I've had loads of amazing conversations while walking around in that city. It's full of a bunch of really interesting people.

Is it really so hard to just have a pleasant conversation with someone while you're waiting around outside? In a line, or smoking?

I live in Oklahoma now and if you ask any of them they are southern. They have that southern Hospitality thing. They are super friendly (fake) but it gets creepy. Not hugging randomly but will sit and have a convo with you for a while.

When I lived in Wyoming they were more "cold". They just are very closed off.

You mean you don't go around randomly surprise hugging people in your town? But it's fun.

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...y/Inabahug.jpg

Here we all say hi to eachother and wave to strangers walking down the road here. Liz used to ask me how I knew everyone. and I said " I don't know any of these people but everyone here says Hi"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Clo

Is it really so hard to just have a pleasant conversation with someone while you're waiting around outside? In a line, or smoking?

---

Apparently. How dare a complete stranger say "hi, how's it going?" to me! Only creepy, horrible people would say something like that.

Silence doesn't bother me, so often I won't initiate these conversations, though I will if I notice something interesting (maybe they have an FSM shirt or are carrying around a book I like). I have no problem continuing them, though. Some random strangers have actually surprised me with their intelligence.

It's also much more common in smaller areas. I know my family at least says hi to everyone when walking around the street. I don't personally know everyone, but I will at least say "hi" when I'm outside there. In a lot of places it's a common courtesy not unlike holding the door open. You don't need to be BFFs with someone to do that.

People in the midwest are pretty bad about it. In my experience, most will avoid starting up conversations. Sometimes if you're not too creepy they'll go with it, though. The south was a lot better about having random people just talk to you really friendly, though I think it also helps to be (or at least be perceived as) as WASP in those situations.

I talk to everyone about everything when I'm drinking. Maybe everyone should just be more drunk when they're in public.

People in the SF Bay Area are pretty friendly. But I also often have conversation starters with me, my two gorgeous dogs. I get stopped almost every single day by people at the park or the walking trails or just around my neighborhood with people asking me about my dogs. So there's that. Also, random people seem to strike up conversations with me at the grocery store, I dunno if this is normal or not? Maybe cause I go to a hippie grocery store. :o

Generally people don't randomly say hi to strangers on the streets though. That's really strange.

I think it's strange to not say "hi" or "how are you?" to someone you walk by :p

Roto is correct - Torontonians do not strike up convo unless they are insane or begging for money.

I find 'cold approaches' to girls is more appreciated in small towns rather than in Toronto. When I visited fayetteville I could easily imagine myself going up to people and asking them things.

When I was in Hong Kong, just talking to people in the street put them on edge.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Clo

I live in Niagara Falls now, which is too crazy and :bou::bou::bou::bou:ty to dare to describe, but I mainly grew up around Buffalo, and everyone is super friendly there. I've had loads of amazing conversations while walking around in that city. It's full of a bunch of really interesting people.

Is it really so hard to just have a pleasant conversation with someone while you're waiting around outside? In a line, or smoking?

---

It's certainly not smurfing pleasant for me. I don't have anything to say to a random stranger and I don't particularly care about whatever small talk they have to make at me. When a stranger starts talking to me, my first thought is always "Oh, great, what the hell does this asstard want?" (SPOILER)It's money.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bert

I think it's strange to not say "hi" or "how are you?" to someone you walk by :p

---

If I said "hi" to everyone I walked past, I'd never get a chance to breathe. I live downtown.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bert

I think it's strange to not say "hi" or "how are you?" to someone you walk by :p

---

Jesus christ, how would that even be possible unless you're on a completely abandoned street and it's just you and maybe 1-2 other people. I say hello to people who live in my apartment buildings when we pass each other in the halls or in the mail room. But I can't even imagine doing that while I'm out and about. Do you do this everywhere? At the mall? In the subway? If I'm walking around in downtown San Francisco, I'm passing by dozens and dozens of people at any given moment. Do you just shout out "hello!!" as people pass you by?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shoeberto

People in the midwest are pretty bad about it. In my experience, most will avoid starting up conversations. Sometimes if you're not too creepy they'll go with it, though. The south was a lot better about having random people just talk to you really friendly, though I think it also helps to be (or at least be perceived as) as WASP in those situations.

I talk to everyone about everything when I'm drinking. Maybe everyone should just be more drunk when they're in public.

---

This is what I've generally noticed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Miriel

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bert

I think it's strange to not say "hi" or "how are you?" to someone you walk by :p

---

Jesus christ, how would that even be possible unless you're on a completely abandoned street and it's just you and maybe 1-2 other people. I say hello to people who live in my apartment buildings when we pass each other in the halls or in the mail room. But I can't even imagine doing that while I'm out and about. Do you do this everywhere? At the mall? In the subway? If I'm walking around in downtown San Francisco, I'm passing by dozens and dozens of people at any given moment. Do you just shout out "hello!!" as people pass you by?

---

I live in a ghetto there aren't tons of people wandering around most of the time unless it's mid day or something. so yes most streets are empty :p
No, I wouldn't do it everywhere. I mainly do it around here because most people that I see walking are either my friends or old people and they're all scared I'm gonna rob them or something so I say hi and how are you and it makes them feel safer.

I believe this story is at least semi-relevant.

So I was out with my friends last night and we were pre-gaming out by our cars when a pair of girls come up to us and ask our names. Now as I'm about to actually give out my name, one of my friends just says, "I think your friends want you back over there." So he pretty much sent away two cute girls without reason. And then his girlfriend called them sluts. My friends are dicks.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Roto13

Is your city one of these mythical friendly cities where everyone is so super friendly? Does it drive you insane like it would me?

---

Yes, but only if you aren't Jewish, black or gay.

Actually, being serious, yes everyone is nice here. You are seen as rude if you don't say hi to everyone (or at least smile) you pass walking down the street. Holding the door open for someone behind you is a given, even if they are a few steps behind.

I've had conversations with complete strangers on the sidewalk, at the store etc etc.

It's a Midwest thing. If you're not from the Midwest and come to visit, strangers here might ask you about what it's like where you live and stuff. It's not about being nosy, it's about being polite.

I'm a rather shy person, so when it doesn't happen at other places I visit, I don't feel bad about it. But yeah, around here I'm fine with it.

Even if it's empty, I'd rather have empty kindness than rudeness.

Yikes.

Sometimes there are things to talk about with absolute strangers. If I'm outside getting fresh air and someone's near me and I like the band on their t-shirt or something, I'll start talking to them. I've gotten into conversations with people about concerts, albums, songs. I once heard someone with a Victory Fanfare message tone and we had a whole conversation about the FF series.

Maybe I'm just extroverted -- that, and y'know, my city in general.

Oh you know I would hug you, Roto.

*HUG*

I would kick you in the nuts.

(SPOILER)<3

One time a friend-of-a-friend I was being introduced to for the first time gave me a big stupid hug. So not cool. That didn't go well for him.

One time I gave out free hugs in Harajuku with a pikachu costume on. Got some wonderful hugs! Except for the gay navy guy who pinched my butt. That was unappreciated.

Striking up small conversations with people who don't mind small talk is a pleasant way to alleviate the misery of waiting.

Depends on the person and where you are. In Northern Ireland there is nothing remotely weird about random people saying hi to each other and chatting as if they are old friends - more than once when I was a kid, I'd be out with my grandma, she'd meet someone in the street, they'd stop and chat for five minutes, bid each other farewell and when I ask "Who was that, Granny?" she'd say "I don't know." Probably less true among the younger generation but still not something that would make people blink to my knowledge.

Same is true up north in England, apparently. Where I live and further south you'd get less positive reactions, the attitude is much more hostile. A few weeks ago I was going to the store for something and a random chap hanging out in his garden chatted to me about some carnival or something starting in a couple of days and asked if I was going and stuff. I was saddened when I realized I was disconcerted precisely because he had no apparent motive other than having a brief friendly chat. I hate that I'm too screwed up to talk to people without risking a panic attack anyway, and I hate that even aside from that I assume bad intent because oh my god strangers talking to each other WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD THEY HAVE THEY MUST WANT TO MURDER ME. But I do and I do :(

I live in Montréal. And yes, we hate you. We hate everyone. Mange d'la marde, grosse pute.
I've been just about everywhere in Canada though. Vancouver and Winnipeg are the best after Montréal, when it comes to big cities.

On the more serious side though, nobody is friendlier than anyone else, at least where I've been. You'll actually find that kinda stuff in smaller, out of the way towns.

I don't hug people because you never know who could be gay and maybe have AIDs. It's a very scary reality that I have to deal with on a very daily basis.

Where I live we wave at people we don't know occasionally if are eyes meet. Hugging though? Naaah.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Clo

I once heard someone with a Victory Fanfare message tone and we had a whole conversation about the FF series.

---

I've totally gotten approving nods and "Hell yeahs" for my Zelda 'found a secret' text tone. Struck up a couple conversations from it too.

No stranger has ever started a conversation with me, except for old people. Old people seem to be the only people that do it. And even most of them don't. The thought of it is really weird...
I've started doing it recently, though. People stare at you a lot in England, everyone stares at everyone, it's really weird. Recently when people stare at me I've started like nodding at them or even saying hi. It's an involuntary thing. They just start staring at me and it's weird and I can't help but greet them, my friends think it's hilarious.
This shows just how weird it is here to greet people you don't know on the street - me and my friends sometimes do it to have a laugh. Like saying hi to people on the street you don't know is so weird here we do it just to freak people out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nevermore

I live in Montréal. And yes, we hate you. We hate everyone. Mange d'la marde, grosse pute.
I've been just about everywhere in Canada though. Vancouver and Winnipeg are the best after Montréal, when it comes to big cities.

---

Vancouver is a nice place to visit but it's not so nice to live there. Way, way, way too expensive and the minimum wage is laughably low. And crime is pretty ridiculous too. Also, smurfing hipsters.

If you hug people you are a gay liberal Socialist in Memphis.

Quote:

---

Vancouver is a nice place to visit but it's not so nice to live there. Way, way, way too expensive and the minimum wage is laughably low. And crime is pretty ridiculous too. Also, smurfing hipsters.

---

Yeah, it's great for tourists, especially during the Winter games.
Living there ain't too bad, but then, in my experience, you can't ever make enough money anywhere anyway lol. Try Winnipeg, eleven bucks for a pack of smokes.
As for crime, I reckon every big city has it. :/ I know they got statistics and crap, but I don't know how much to rely on those.

Quote:

---

I don't hug people because you never know who could be gay and maybe have AIDs. It's a very scary reality that I have to deal with on a very daily basis.

---

You must live in a small town.

Roto I don't know about you but as native Torontian, I never found my own city to be unfriendly.

Everyone has neutral look when they are out an about and if someone gave me an eye contact and smile, I would smile back.

I'm totally cool with the people of Toronto. Ok, someone screamed at me to smurf off yesterday, but he was clearly a crazy person.

Another crazy person stopped my husband today and asked if he could borrow his cell phone for an hour. The hell.

I remembered something today. I remembered that I met one of my best friends when he started talking to me randomly when I was out for a walk. He was hitting on me, though.

I smile at people a lot but I'm too much of a spaz to talk to anyone without making them think I'm even more insane. I have talked to random people before but not so much. Everyone on the coast is arrogant, everyone in the hinterland is a redneck/bogan and everyone in the city is too important/busy/whatever to talk to you*

*Gross generalisation but whatchagonnado

On the whole I would say York is a very friendly city. It's a thriving tourist centre, so I suppose to a certain extent it has to be. I find the North of England to generally be a very friendly place, really.